Life's Not Always Black and White
by SkyeBlue55
Summary: Lorelei White has spent the past 5 years at Hogwarts in the shadow of her older sister. So when she comes back from Summer Break looking like a different person, she befriends the people she had admired for so long-Lily Evans and the Marauders. But while she's having the time of her life actually having a life, she catches the eye of notorious ladies-man, Sirius Black.
1. Meet Lorelei

**I own none of these characters, except those that are unrecognizable to avid JK Rowling readers. You know the drill people, don't steal or I'll trample you with my giant pigeon. Oh, and stay in school.**

* * *

I, Lorelei White, hugged my bag closer as I stepped away from my parents with a last look and wave to them. I stepped through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 with my eyes closed. Even though I had done it loads of times before, walking into a wall never felt natural.

This year at Hogwarts would be different. This year I would make an effort to make (and keep) some friends. My first 5 years at Hogwarts had been all right. I hadn't been maimed or killed, I got good grades, my teachers liked me. But my years hadn't been full.

With my suitcase trailing behind me, I stepped onto the train and found an empty compartment almost immediately- the perks of getting to the train very early. I put my suitcase above me and settled quietly into the seat with my book.

Yes, my years at Hogwarts hadn't been full. If you were to ask someone at Hogwarts if they knew me, chances are they wouldn't say yes. I didn't exactly make a big impression on my classmates in my first five years. While I got top notch grades, I was usually pretty silent in class. I kept mostly to myself, but if I did venture to have a friend, it was always someone from my own house. I often wondered why I had been put in Gryffindor. Wasn't it supposed to be for the brave? I certainly wasn't brave. Now, I wasn't _exactly_ antisocial, it was more of a self-imposed extreme caution about other people.

Where did all this come from, you ask? Well, I'd always been pretty shy, but I personally thought it came from people constantly comparing me to my older sister, Farrah. Farrah was perfect. Top NEWTS (and OWLS before that), Quidditch Team Capitan, beautiful, brave, kind- everything a White should be. Our pureblood wizard family went back centuries, starting with Finneus Horatio White, but I digress.

On more than one occasion, someone had used me to get to Farrah. I had been walked over by many a date-seeking boy. It didn't exactly make me feel good. So, I built a wall and spent all my energy into what I thought most important to my happiness- getting good grades to ensure a good job. I spent no effort in my appearance, unlike all other teenage girls, it seemed.

I wore my bushy blonde hair around my face, hiding underneath it. I covered my eyes with horn-rimmed glasses. I slouched, hunched even. Now, I had impeccable hygiene. I just let go the things I _could_ have spent more time on.

I never went to Hogsmeade, and I spent all my free time in the Library, in my room or by the lake, studying. If Great, Great, Great… um, Great, Great, Great Grandpa Finneus had been alive, he would have spat in my face. This was not how an honorable White was supposed to act.

But, like I said, this year was going to be different. I was out of Farrah's shadow- she had graduated the year before. Now, I didn't begrudge my sister her popularity, and I wasn't bitter about my predicament. It was just easier to not try to fit in, because even if I tried my hardest, it wouldn't be as good as Farrah- so I didn't try to fit in at all.

But, after a while, the loneliness got tiresome. So, over the summer I revamped. I got contacts (a muggle next door neighbor introduced the concept), dyed and straightened my hair (again, muggle procedures suggested by our nosy neighbor- quite the cosmetologist, that one). I even found a mantra- "It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all." So this was the year I was going to try.

Now, if only I could find a way to overcome everyone's opinion of me. The bookish, unattractive, less fantastic sister of Farrah. I could be funny and personable, but I got really tongue tied sometimes. Did I mention I was shy? Especially around boys. If a boy did happen to talk to me, something in the back of my head always wondered if it was to get to Farrah or they had mistaken me for someone else. Or they needed someone's homework to copy.

I pulled my legs up onto the seat, not breaking my gaze at my book. Sitting with my legs underneath me in the Indian sitting position sometimes made people wince. I often got those 'how-can-that-possibly-be-comfortable?' looks. But it was comfortable. And the book I was reading was my favorite. In my opinion, reading was vastly underrated as a way to pass the time.

On the train, I had foolishly chosen a backward facing seat, so when the train jolted forward, I also was jolted forward and my book flew out of my hand.

"Damn," I swore under my breath. Hadn't I learned my lesson before? Just as I leaned down to retrieve it, I lost my balance on the seat and fell head first onto the ground.

"Bugger," I muttered, rubbing my newly sore head. It _would_ be like me to topple head first.

Ignoring the pain, I righted myself. I consoled myself that the tumble wasn't really that bad, as there were no other occupants in my compartment.

But the sudden snickering I heard in the back ground robbed me of that consolation.

"What an idiot. Clumsy much?" a Slytherin girl taunted meanly, flanked by two other Slytherin girls who guffawed at her cruelty. The girl smiled mockingly, revealing teeth so yellow they made me recoil slightly.

I looked down and brushed off my robes. "Floss much?" I bit back. My hand immediately flew to my mouth. Had I said that aloud? That was something I never would have said!

The girl frowned at me. "Watch your back, _Gryffindor_." The Slytherin girls sneered once more and were gone.

I bit my lip. Had I made an enemy _before_ I made a friend? That wasn't the plan! I turned and sighed, watching the countryside pass through the window.

"_Are_ you all right?" a voice interrupted the silence.  
Though it had been kindly and softly spoken, it still surprised me. I jumped nearly a foot in the air. I turned, discovering a Gryffindor Seventh Year, Frederick Grant, watching me with an amused look. I wrung my hands and looked down. "I'm fine," I mumbled. Had he seen me fall? How embarrassing!

He smiled. "So much for starting the year off on the right foot," he joked, not unkindly.

"Or any foot at all, for that matter," I muttered, more to myself than anyone else.

He looked at me and let out a surprised laugh. "Indeed. I'm Fred, by the way. Fred Grant." He offered his hand.

I looked at in confusion for a few seconds before it registered in my brain that he meant for me to shake it. I took it shyly and said,

"Lorelei White."

"Oh! Like Farrah's sister?" Fred asked hopefully.

I nodded, barely containing my sigh. "Yup."

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Fred nodded at me. "Yes, well... I have to be going, but it was lovely to meet you. Tell Farrah I said, 'Hi'."

I waited until he was well out of earshot before giving him a mock salute. "Will do, chief." I settled back in my seat with my book.


	2. Two Lilies

**I own none of these characters, except those that are unrecognizable to avid J.K. Rowling readers. You know the drill people, don't steal or I'll trample you with my giant pigeon!**

* * *

"Anything from the trolley, Dear?" asked the kind Trolley Cart Lady after a bit.

"No, thank you," I replied politely. I had packed a bit of food for the ride, knowing I would get hungry for something other than candy. Especially if I wanted to keep my teeth from becoming like that Slytherin girl's. That thought made me giggle aloud.

I resumed my reading and it was a couple of hours before I was disturbed again. "We're to be arriving soon. You should change into your robes... Do I know you?"

I looked up into the vivid green eyes of Lily Evans. Lily should have known me, I had only shared a dorm with her for 3 years. "Lorelei White," I said softly, offering Lily my hand. Oh well, no harm in reintroducing myself.

"Lore? That's you?" Lily asked, surprised. She stepped into my compartment. "You look so different. How's Farrah?"

Of course that was how Lily knew me. Lily had been friendly with Farrah. Of course, Farrah was friendly with everyone. "She's great, thank you for asking."

"What's she going to do now that she's graduated?" Lily continued, taking a seat across from me.

"She's studying to be an Auror, actually," I said, trying to sound enthused.

"That's fantastic! You know, Lore, you really look great. So different! Did you do something to your hair?"

I blushed at her compliment, "Um, yeah. I dyed it and straightened it."

"Well, the color is really great with your skin and eyes."

I nodded self-consciously. The mahogany color of my hair did go really well with my pale skin and the bangs I had given myself made my deep blue eyes pop. That's why I'd chosen it. "Thank you," I said softly.

"So, are you excited for this year?" Lily asked, making attempts to further the conversation.

I liked Lily, really I did, but I wasn't Lily's friend. Lily didn't have friends like me. This kind of forced civility was always awkward. But I nodded in response to Lily's question.

"Me too," she continued breathlessly. "I was so floored when I got the Prefect badge in the post. I couldn't believe Dumbledore picked me. Anyway, I have to finish my rounds. I'll see you tonight," Lily said, getting up and walking towards the door.

"I knew you'd warm to me," a voice said lazily.

I looked over at the same time Lily did, to behold a peculiar sight (at least for me). James Potter, one of the most handsome boys at school, no scratch that- in all of London. His dark, messy hair fell into dreamy hazel eyes. He was smiling lazily at Lily with only half his mouth. He was leaning against the door, as if it was too much effort to stand on his own. In fact, everything about him seemed lazy today. His eyes were only half open.

Lily made a face of disgust. "Leave me alone, Potter. Isn't there some poor, defenseless first year you should be tormenting?" she asked sarcastically.

"Who, me?" James's eyes widened with a look of mock innocence. I suppressed a smile. James was cute in that cheeky, bad boy kind of way.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, you and those horrible Marauders. Well anyway, I'm a Prefect this year and I will not hesitate to deduct points," Lily threatened.

I sunk back in my seat. Everyone knew about Lily and Potter. He tormented her, she ignored him- it was the way things were. I didn't blame James for chasing Lily though, she was beautiful like Farrah, only in a more exotic way. Red hair, green, almond shaped eyes, pale. Farrah was blonde, blue eyes and tan (but Farrah made that look classic).

"So, Dumbledore finally came to his senses and gave you a position of power, eh?" James asked suddenly, throwing both me and Lily off balance.

Lily flushed and looked uncertain of anything to say as James approached.

"A position on top, if you will," James said suggestively.

Lily's face fell and she frowned at him. "James Potter, you will never change! Leave me alone!" she hissed and stormed past him.

I looked down at my hands. James probably hadn't even noticed I was there. To a certain degree, I envied Lily- she had admirers, and she was so comfortable with herself! It seemed so glamorous.

"Sure, I'd love to sit with you in your compartment!" James joked to no her fleeting form.

I looked up, just in case he had been talking to me. James seemed shocked at my sudden motion and turned to me, causing me to jump at _his_sudden motion. "Oh, hello there. I didn't mean to scare you," he greeted me, surprised.

I just blushed and mumbled, "Hello."

James smiled and looked longingly after Lily. "She doesn't like me very much, does she?" he asked.

I shrugged, my blush deepening. Boys never talked to me. I was more than invisible most of the time. "No one likes to be bothered all the time," I said softly.

James turned, eyes widening. He looked angry for a second and my heartbeat quickened, but then he began laughing. "You don't say much, but when you do, it's fascinating." He sat down across from me and leaned back with his arms crossed. "Have I seen you before?"

I had been in almost every class of his last year. Once, he made my chair levitate in the middle of History of Magic, but Professor Binn hadn't even noticed. "Lorelei White," I offered.

His eyes widened. "Lore? Seriously? You look different."

I blushed again. "I dyed my hair?" I said uncertainly.

"And made it lay flat," he noticed, eyes twinkling.

It made my face go even redder, if possible. "Yeah," I mumbled. Why was James Potter talking to me?

"How? Did you use a spell? I've been trying to find a spell, well... my mum has," James leaned forward.

I backed further away in my seat. "I um... I used a muggle procedure."

He flashed me that grin and my heart nearly came out my nose. "I'll have to look into that," he said, distractedly.

I smiled hesitantly. "This is a very strange conversation we're having," I said softly, almost inaudibly.

He laughed loudly and nodded. "Right you are, White." I smiled at his laugh. It was so big and unapologetically loud.

"James, Sirius is being unre- oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were talking with Lily," a voice cut himself off from the doorway.  
I jumped at the sudden sound and looked up in surprise. Lily wasn't in the compartment anymore...

James looked at his friend and raised an eyebrow. The tall newcomer looked as shocked as everyone else had upon seeing me. "Oh, sorry Lore. I didn't realize it was you. You sounded just like Lily," complimented Remus Lupin. His light brown hair was neatly laying on his head and his brown eyes considered me with surprise. "You look lovely."

I smiled shyly. I had always liked Remus. He sometimes studied at the same table in the library with me after classes. Even now, he recognized me when no one else did, and it wasn't like we had been good friends. "Thank you, Remus," I whispered.

I was suddenly regretting that I had made such drastic changes to my appearance. It was only getting me attention that I didn't know how to handle. At first, I had admired myself in mirrors (especially the complimenting ones)- it gave me some unaccustomed confidence. But it was now the attention was getting to be a bit much

James raised an eyebrow at me. "Well, I guess we'll be going. See you when we get there," he nodded at me and led Remus off.

I let out a big sigh and leaned back, closing my eyes in relief. I was relieved that I was alone again. Boys made me nervous- especially cute ones, and especially cute trouble-making ones.

~

"I think Lore's got a thing for you, Moony old pal," James grinned at his friend when they were out of earshot.

Remus shook his head. "Nah, Prongs. She's like that with everyone. It took me half of last year just to get a smile out of her.

"Jumpy little thing, isn't she?" James asked, scratching his arm. Remus had thought Lorelei White was Lily? That made him uneasy, though he didn't know why.

"I suppose. She's just shy," Remus told his friend.

"Who is?" asked a muffled voice in their compartment. Remus and James turned to see their friend Sirius Black shoving an entire chocolate frog into his mouth.

"Wanna slow down there, mate?" James asked with a sly smile.

"Can't. They jump off otherwise. Who's shy?" he repeated.

"No one. Pass me a licorice wand?" James asked, plopping down next to Sirius and holding out his hand expectantly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Remus, who shrugged in response and sat down next to Peter.

James bit the inside of his cheek. "So, did she _look_ like Lily?" he asked Remus as casually as he could after a few seconds.

Remus looked up from his book in shock. He hadn't been expecting _that_ question. "She only sounded like her when I was approaching the compartment... well she sounded the way Lily sounds when she isn't cross with you," he explained with a sly smile.

Peter added, "Which is never."

James punched his friend in the arm.

"_Who_?" Sirius persisted.

"Lorelei White," James snapped. "Try and keep up, mate."

"Sorry," grumbled Sirius. "Wait, who?"

Everyone groaned.

"She's a sixth year, with us. Anyway, she changed over the summer and Remus mistook her for Lily when he heard us talking in her compartment."

Sirius thought for a minute. "She must be looking good, if Remus mistook her for Lily." Who would have thought there still was a good looking girl Sirius hadn't dated?

"Oh no, Sirius," Remus said warily.

"What?" Sirius asked innocently.

"She's not interested."

"Interested in what?" Sirius continued feigning ignorance.

"You. She's a nice girl. Leave her alone," Remus warned.

Sirius frowned and settled back in his seat. "So what _did_ she look like?"

"Give it a rest!" James blurted out.

Sirius smirked at his friend. "It just... I don't know if we can handle two Lily's."


	3. Welcome To Hogwarts

**I own none of these characters, except those that are unrecognizable to avid JK Rowling readers. You know the drill people, don't steal or I'll trample you with my giant pigeon.**

* * *

After putting my clothes away in my dorm, I went down to dinner, book in hand. Life had resumed normalcy- no one spoke to me in the carriages, and no one was in my dorm when I put my stuff away. So

I walked down to the Great Hall. Every year, without fail, I was always surprised by the splendor of Hogwarts. The Opening Day feast was one of the best times of the year. Halloween too, but the Sorting Ceremony was so much fun.

I settled down in an empty spot between groups of friends talking animatedly. After the sorting, Dumbledore stood.

"As always, welcome to and back to Hogwarts. Let me remind you, once again, that the list of outlawed paraphernalia is posted outside our caretaker, Mr. Filch,'s office. There are several additions that I urge you to take note of. And, for those of you whom do not know, the Forbidden Forest still maintains its name for obvious reasons. Your supper, however, is not off limits. Tuck in!"

I rolled my eyes. Dumbledore always made some lame joke before letting the students eat. But my mild annoyance was forgotten when the feast was laid out before me and I nearly salivated.

"House elves blow my mind," I said to myself, not really intending on saying it aloud.

"Only house elves? Aw, I could blow your mind," came a suggestive voice behind me.

I jumped nearly a foot in the air. I turned to watch Sirius Black slide in the seat next to me gracefully. I was so surprised I couldn't speak. The most notoriously girl-crazy Marauder was sitting next to me. He was handsomest too: shaggy dark hair brushing twin pristinely grey eyes. Only problem was, everyone knew how good looking he was- especially him. I had heard a rumor that he once dated four girls at once.

He draped an arm around my shoulders, like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be a) sitting near me and b) touching me. He hadn't even noticed me when he was dating my sister. My face burned hotter. Why was he sitting next to me? Why, for the love of God, was he touching me? His arm felt like it was burning through my shoulder, like acid.

"You're familiar looking, have I dated you?"

I was certain my face was incapable of becoming any redder. "N-no," I stammered.

Sirius smiled cheekily. "My mistake then." He leaned close and I didn't move. My eyes were glued to his approaching face. "Want to change that?" he whispered, close to my ear.

Tingles shot up my spine at the same time that shivers shot down it. I was incapable of speech. Years ago, I had had a crush on Sirius, but during that little crush, Farrah had started dating him. It took me four months to get over him, but I guess I never did because even now there were butterflies in my stomach when I saw him. I never dreamed that he would actually talk to me, none the less flirt with me.

James saved me. "Oi, Padfoot! Leave Lore alone and come eat something."

I closed my eyes and offered a prayer for James. May he live long and well. Because, as much as I really wanted to be around Sirius, he made me more nervous than anyone else. I really, _really_ didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of him.

"Bye," Sirius smiled lazily and suddenly the weight was lifted from my shoulders (actually, not like in the saying). I shot a furtive glance at James, who winked at me.

All this attention was making me more nervous and jumpy than usual, so I cut out of dinner early. The year was already getting better though. Sirius Black had flirted, and both Lily Evans and James Potter had been kind to me.

Maybe it was finally my turn to be just Lorelei. Not, "Farrah's sister Lorelei" or even just, "Farrah's little sister... what was your name?"  
A thought hit me. Maybe the reason people had suddenly noticed me wasn't because I was shining, it was because they missed Farrah. I was the last connection people at Hogwarts, younger friends she had made, had to Farrah. I was a tie between them and her.

So I trudged back to my room in a dampened mood. My stomach grumbled at me and I regretted my sudden bolt from the Great Hall. I turned back around. Maybe they were still serving.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard voices. Lots of voices. So I figured Dinner was over, and I turned to go back to my room. No use in going all the way to the Great Hall if there wasn't any food.

"Lore!" It was a female voice. I pretended I didn't hear it and kept walking upstairs.

"Lorelei White!" the voice persisted.

Slowly, I turned and saw none other than Lily Evans. "Sorry," I blushed. "I didn't hear you," I lied.

"What did she say, Lils?" asked another girl loudly from the couch. It was Lily's best friend, Gretchen.

Lily giggled and turned back to Gretchen. "She didn't hear me, can you imagine? I was practically shouting!" Lily giggled.

Lily obviously found my lie hard to believe, but thought me incapable of lying. The thought made me want to confess. I _had_ lied! I shifted uncomfortably.

"Sorry," I apologized softly again.

"Don't worry about it. I just wanted to ask you if you were all right," Lily said, looking concerned.

I smiled a bit and nodded. Lily was concerned for my welfare? She wouldn't be concerned about me now if she had only been nice to me on the train because of Farrah. Maybe Lily actually did like me. All I knew was that the more I was around Lily, the more I liked her.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"I saw you bolt after that moron Black sat next to you. He didn't bother you, did he?" Lily asked.

My eyes widened. Lily really was concerned! I shook my head fervently, looking down. "He was just being Sirius."

"Are you sure? Because I would be more than happy to give him detention for sexual harassment," Lily continued happily, eliciting an unexpected laugh from me.

I covered my mouth with my hand. How long had it been since I had laughed with someone other than my family?

"Sexual harassment? Who, what, where, when, why?" Sirius drawled from the couch.

I jumped. When had he arrived? How did he and the rest of the Marauders move so silently? Because, sure enough, the rest of them were finding comfortable positions on the couches, and chairs in the Common Room.

"As a matter of fact, it concerns you," Lily sniffed at him. "I was just making sure you hadn't emotionally scarred poor Lorelei here."

Was it just me, or did Lily like Sirius even less than she liked James?

"Of course I didn't scar her," Sirius stood and walked over to us. I backed up a little- the proximity to Sirius was making me nervous.

"She didn't even eat!" Lily persisted

"Of course she ate! Why would I have scared her off? She's a big girl, Evans. Maybe you should let her fend for herself," Sirius turned to me and winked.

I froze, but my heart started beating wildly. I swallowed, and watched Lily and Sirius yell at each other. I didn't even think the rift was even about my anymore. More of an excuse for Lily to yell at Sirius. Well, I couldn't blame Lily. Sirius was an infuriating boy. Handsome, but infuriating.

"Maybe she needs me to because she's too polite to tell you to sod off!"

"Maybe you should let Lorelei talk for herself," Peter Pettigrew intervened, bored.

Lily looked at him, outraged. I saw that she was about to say something to him, but thought better of it. After all, they had been arguing about something that, truly, only I knew the answer to.

"Well?" she asked kindly.

I felt all eyes turn to me and I felt myself blush and heard myself stammer, "Um... ah..." I felt like I was on a stage with all of London watching me, waiting for me to make a complete git out of myself. "I have to go." I said quickly and shot up the stairs. All I had wanted was some food!

I threw myself on my bed, thrilled that I was finally out of the spotlight. Though my stomach was still grumbling, there had been other times that I had slept on an empty stomach. Loads of times.

"Lore?"

I looked up from my pillow. "Yes?" I asked.

Lily sat down at the foot of my bed. "I'm sorry about before. I didn't realize I was putting you on the spot. I just get so mad at them!"

"The Marauders?" I asked softly, sitting upright to face her.

Lily nodded grimly. "Remus is nice, but he's the only one. Peter's not bad, but only because he doesn't say much. But Sirius and James! They're bullies and arrogant pricks!" she looked away angrily.

I bit my lip. I agreed with Lily mostly, but it wasn't in my nature to say anything like that aloud. "They're just teenage boys," I said, looking down at my covers.

Lily sighed. "I know. I just wish they wouldn't bother me. Or you," she added.

I shrugged. As long as I could run away to avoid stuff like that, it wasn't too terribly bothersome. Boys will be boys.

"All right, well… I just wanted you to know I was sorry. Good night, Lorelei."

I smiled. "Good night."


	4. Friends?

**I own none of these characters, except those that are unrecognizable to avid JK Rowling readers. You know the drill people, don't steal or I'll trample you with my giant pigeon.**

* * *

Some noises woke me in the morning. Another girl in the dorm was getting ready, and she had knocked over her hand mirror. Groaning, I stood and went off to the bathroom to do my morning routines.

I clipped back the parts of my hair that got in my face and put in my contacts. Once satisfied with my reflection, I went back to the dorm room to put on my robes. Ten minutes later, I was down in the Great Hall.

I found my usual place between groups of friends and served myself some pancakes. Then I opened my book to the page where I had left off and settled in to my usual breakfast- reading in solitude.

"Mind if we sit here? Thanks," came a voice without waiting for a response. It was Gretchen, trailed closely by Lily.

I smiled a little. "Of course you can sit there," I assented and went back to my book.

"So, what classes have you got this year, Lorelei?" Gretchen asked, spooning eggs on her plate.

I looked up, surprised that she was still talking to me. "Um… Advanced Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Advanced Transfiguration, Charms and Advanced Herbology," I said, trying to remember.

"Let me see your time table," Lily asked, holding out her hand.

I dug in my pocket and produced the time table. Lily got hers out and compared the two. I tried to see across the table, but the breakfast rolls obstructed my view. "You've got Potions and Charms with me and Defense Against the Dark Arts with Gretchen. That's fantastic!" Lily said enthusiastically.

I smiled widely. She thought it was fantastic? They wanted to be around me? That _was_ fantastic! All that work on my appearance and attitude over the summer hadn't been for naught. I actually had some friends!

"Did you hear who the new Defense Against th-" Lily was cut off as she glared at someone behind me.

I turned. It was none other than James Potter looming over me. I quickly turned back around, trying to pretend he wasn't there. Breakfast had been going so well! Now that James was there, Lily would be distracted, she might even leave and Gretchen would go with her. And then I would be stuck alone with the Marauders, and we've all seen how well I interact with them. Maybe I should try to control my blushing…

"Good Morning, Lily," he said. Though I couldn't see it, I could sense the smile.

"Potter," Lily nodded at him.

I felt motion on my right. "What are you doing?" Lily asked shrilly.

"Having a seat? It is breakfast time, you know. And typically breakfast is eaten in the sitting posi-"

"We know that," snapped Gretchen. "You can't sit there."

"Why not?" Sirius Black asked, suddenly on my left.

I gasped. When in the past 3 seconds had he slid into that seat? He definitely had not been there when I looked last. He winked at me. "As far as I know, we can sit anywhere we like."

I looked helplessly at Lily. I had James to my right and Sirius to my left. I felt completely cornered.

"I could even sit here, if I liked," Sirius pointed to my seat.

"Lorelei is already sitting there," Gretchen hissed.

"My point exactly," Sirius smirked. "I know many a girl that would be just thrilled to-"

"I've got to go," I whispered, looking down.

"Lorelei, stay where you are," Lily said. She looked challengingly at James. "You should be the ones to leave. We got here first. You're upsetting poor Lorelei."

"We seem to do that often," James teased, throwing his arm over my shoulder.

I pursed my lips and continued staring at my plate. Maybe Lily was right about James. He knew I was uncomfortable, yet he still tormented me.

"Don't be a git, James," Remus cut in from behind us.

"Yes, don't be a git," Lily pointed. "Thank you, Remus."

"Come on, guys. We have to hurry or we'll be late -" started Peter.

"Since when have you cared about being late, Wormtail?" Sirius asked lazily.

Remus sighed. "Come on, James."

"Lily, my love, before I go, will you-" James began.

"I will _not_ go out with you," Lily interrupted.

James removed his arm from around me to place his hand over his heart. "You wound me, dear heart."

"Just leave," Gretchen glared at him.

James smirked and got up. Sirius followed suit and I finally let out my breath. "We shall meet again," James promised Lily dramatically.

"I wish he would stop asking me out," Lily muttered, watching James leave.

"Only two more years," Gretchen said, in attempt to comfort Lily.

I laughed softly. "I don't think that's much of a consolation."

Gretchen looked at me in shock. "So she does speak when not spoken to," she mused.

I blushed in response.

"Oh leave her alone, Gretch. We should probably be off. I left a book in the common room, and then it's off to Ancient Runes. What have you got first, Lore?" Lily asked, gathering her books.

"Transfiguration, I think."

"Great. Well, see you later," Gretchen got up, pulling Lily with her.

"Maybe we could do some studying later in the common room."  
I nodded vigorously. "I'd love to."

With that, they left. I smiled to myself- I had friends. It was a very good feeling.


	5. Cover Your Ears

**I own none of these characters, except those that are unrecognizable to avid JK Rowling readers. You know the drill people, don't steal or I'll trample you with my giant pigeon.**

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I finished eating my breakfast and stood. I had to be getting to class as well. The hallways were filled with students going to class as well, and I had to pay extra attention to where I was going.

Unfortunately, my extra attention was for naught as I accidentally bumped into someone. Only our shoulders had hit, but it was enough impact to loose the papers from my arms.

"Perfect," I muttered sarcastically. I crouched down to pick them all up, but I was taken aback as I saw another pair of hands picking books up as well.

I looked up in shock. "Oh, hello Remus." I should have guessed it was Remus- he would be kind enough to stop and help me pick up my books. "Sorry I bumped you."

"You didn't bump me, I saw you down here picking up papers so I decided to help. Where are you headed?" he asked, handing me my final book.

"Advanced Transfiguration," I said softly. Remus was always so nice. Why was I tongue tied around other boys and not him? Maybe I just wasn't attracted to him at all. He was more like a brother.

"Me as well! What a coincidence."

I smiled. "A coincidence? Why? You're good at Transfiguration."

"And apparently, so are you," Remus pointed out.

I blushed. "I suppose," I said softly.

"Let's go before we're late, shall we?" he gestured in the direction of the classroom.

Fortunately, Professor McGonagall hadn't already started the lesson when we arrived. Remus took a seat next to all his friends and I found a seat in the front. I liked Transfiguration a lot. McGonagall was a fairly new and young professor, and well liked.

"Good day, class. I've never been one for easy beginnings, so we'll be starting the term with a useful transfiguration spell. You will find in front of you either a rock, a leaf or a twig. If you'll all turn to page 139, you'll find the spell-"

"Psst."

"Detailing the wand movements-"

"Psst."

"but first I'll show you with this-"

"PSST!"

I turned. Had those 'psst's been directed at me? No one around me was even looking at me, they watching McGonagall change her rock into an edible piece of bread. That _was_ useful!

"Psst!"

I suddenly realized the noise was coming from below me. A piece of paper was sitting on my desk. A drawn mouth on the front was actually what had been talking to me.

I frowned and looked around again. Sirius caught my eye and smirked at me. I turned immediately back around. Sirius had passed me a note? I carefully opened the note, as to not draw attention to the fact that I was technically breaking the rules.

_Cover your ears._

Cover my ears? Just as I was about to turn around again and try and make out what Sirius meant, a loud crash interrupted McGonagall. All the students (including me, despite my warning) screamed and covered their ears. There was a verifiable light show happening in the middle of the room, just in the space between McGonagall and the students. Suddenly, smoke filled the area and none of us could even see five feet in front of us anymore.

My jaw dropped. I turned back around and looked at Sirius. He and James were leaning back in their chairs with their arms behind their hands. I suppressed a giggle, they looked very pleased with themselves.

"I guess we can't have class if we can't find the teacher," Peter said loudly. It sounded extremely scripted.

McGonagall suddenly appeared through the smoke, which was slowly disappearing. "I would hardly be able to call myself a professor if I couldn't get rid of a little smoke. Pettigrew, Potter, Black, detention tonight and every night for the remainder of this week at 7 o'clock. Now, if you'll turn your attention back to page 139."

I snuck a last look at Sirius. He was smiling, despite the fact he had just gotten detention his entire first week back. He winked at me again and I turned around, blushing. Sirius was most definitely flirting with me. But why?

My day passed in a flash. Most of the classes were spent entirely in lectures about the NEWTS and how important it was (especially this year) to keep up with the work and turn in assignments on time. I enjoyed Potions, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts the most, because those were my classes with Gretchen and Lily. They were so kind to me and offered to be my partner and everything. I didn't have a class with both of them, though. I had some of my classes with the Marauders, but they didn't bother me, and they didn't pull any more pranks.

I had eaten lunch alone, because Lily had a Prefect meeting and Gretchen had promised to eat with her boyfriend. I didn't mind though, it was normal for me. Evening couldn't have come quickly enough, because not only was I going to eat Supper with Lily and Gretchen, but I was going to study with them in the common room afterwards!

I found them immediately upon entering the Great Hall. Lily waved to me and I made a bee-line for them. "How was your day?" Gretchen asked me.

"It was pretty good. I can't believe the homework we have. It's only the first day!" I said softly, filling my plate with goodies.

"I know! Slughorn was particularly harsh. Could you believe it, Lore? A foot on the healing properties of Feverfew due Thursday!" Lily told Gretchen.

Gretchen made a pitying face. "That's awful."

I bit my lip. "I didn't mind it."

Lily smiled at me. "Well that's because you want to be a healer."

"You do?" Gretchen asked, wide eyed.

I blushed and nodded slowly. Healing came easy to me, and it made me feel fulfilled. So when I had chosen my courses for this year, I had kept a profession in healing in mind and took appropriate courses (as well as choosing courses deemed "common sense" by my parents). "My mum's a healer. She got me a job at the hospital where she works over the summer."

"Well, if Farrah was ever to get wounded as an Auror, she'd be happy to know she had a healer that could back her up," Lily heaped some potatoes onto her plate while talking.

I bit back a sigh. Farrah. Everything was about Farrah. "I'm sure," I agreed meekly. I stirred the food around on my plate, avoiding eye contact. The mention of Farrah had brought me back down to Earth. Maybe Lily and Gretchen didn't really want my friendship. Obviously I wasn't completely out of the shadow yet. After all, Lily and Gretchen were well-liked and popular. I was a former nobody who happened to be related to Hogwarts Royalty.

"Anyway, how boring was Runes, Gretch? I don't know what I was thinking when I signed myself up," Lily continued.

I settled back in my seat and listened to their conversation for the rest of dinner, adding minimal input (and only when directly asked). It was a roll I was very accustomed to. After dinner, we went back to the Gryffindor Tower and I decided to retreat to my room.

"Lore, wait. We were going to study in the Common Room, remember?" Gretchen stopped me as I headed for the staircase.

I whirled. They still wanted to study with me? "Oh, sorry. I guess I did forget."

"It's all right," Lily said brightly. She settled next to Gretchen on one side of a table in the corner of the Common Room. She motioned to an empty seat across from her at the table, which I took.

"Do you think you could help me with that Feverfew essay Lore?" Lily asked momentarily.

"Of course," I agreed, moving over a bit closer to show her what I had written so far. I was more than ecstatic to help her. "I pulled this bit from this book right here, it's been really helpful. Our textbook has some information about Feverfew, but my herbology books actually went much further into it, so I just used that."

Lily compared my work to her own. "Oh, that's brilliant. Can I borrow your book?" she reached over for the text book and began writing furiously.

I went back to my work with a smile on my face. It was nice to be able to help Lily Evans with some potions homework. She was one of Slughorn's favorites, so it was sort of neat to know there was something I knew that she didn't. Slughorn had invited me to a private party with some of the other kids from our potions class, but he asked me at the same time he asked that strange boy Severus Snape, who eagerly agreed, so I declined. Since then Slughorn hadn't asked me again.

"Lore, did you get the defense homework? I can't get the third question," Gretchen showed me her paper and smiled expectantly.

I nodded again. It was so nice to be helpful. The rest of the night went about the same way. We'd all ask each other for help with some of the areas we couldn't get (though I didn't really ask for help). When I got up to my dorm, I quickly wrote an excited letter to Farrah.

_Farrah,_

You may not believe this at first, but I'm making loads of friends! Everyone has been so nice to me that it's almost too much. Lily Evans and her friend Gretchen in particular have become my close friends. We just got done doing our homework together in the common room, and I helped them both with the problems they couldn't get. I'm so happy! I'm not alone anymore. Well, I just wanted to tell you how excited I am. My love to Mum and Dad!

Lorelei


	6. Second Thoughts

The next morning at breakfast I got a letter back in the post from Farrah. I was caught up in conversation with Gretchen and Lily, so I didn't open it immediately.

"No, it was the strangest thing I've ever seen," Gretchen protested.

I was smiling widely and following every word. It was the most amusing conversation I had ever been part of. I had even offered my opinion a few times, something new for me. Lily and Gretchen were just making me feel so comfortable.

"Stranger than third year in Care of Magical Creatures when a squid accidentally attached itself to Peter Pettigrew's face?" Lily asked with a laugh at the memory.

"First of all, that was not an accident. I distinctly remember seeing James's wand out at the time-"

"Figures," Lily interrupted.

"And second of all, it was stranger!"

"Stranger than when Professor Dumbledore burped in the middle of his welcome speech last year?" I suggested, also laughing at the memory. It was so out of character, people had been talking about it all year.

"Yes! Well, maybe not… it was more disturbing though."

"Well, spit it out," Lily said, getting anxious to know.

"It was Filch," Gretchen finally said.

"That's not strange. Perhaps a bit disturbing," I said, smiling at my joke.

Lily and Gretchen erupted in laughter. "You didn't let me finish. It was Filch and he was hitting on Professor McGonagall!" Gretchen finished.

"Ew!" Lily and I both said at the same time.

"I kid you not," Gretchen declared. "It was so weird. I mean, I was just coming around the corner and I heard him saying something about them having a cup of tea one night together after everyone had gone to sleep."

Lily asked the question on the tip of my tongue as we both continued making disgusted faces. "What did she say?"

Gretchen laughed, "She turned him down flat, saying something about it not being prudent as they were both employed at Hogwarts. You should have seen his face."

"Maybe that's why he's so bitter. He's been pining after her," Lily suggested, giggling.

"I think it's probably more because he's a squib," I remarked thoughtfully.

"Lore's right," Gretchen nodded. "But wouldn't it be funny if that really was the reason?" she asked Lily.

Lily nodded and we continued eating. I noticed that James and Peter had entered for breakfast. I wondered idly where Sirius and Remus were, but more so Sirius. He was just so nice to look at. Maybe not to talk to because I seemed incapable of doing that, but to look at.  
James looked tired, but he still perked up when he saw Lily.

"Morning, Love," he greeted brightly.

"Hello James," she responded icily.

He nodded at Gretchen and me as well, but his eyes never left Lily.

"You look so beautiful this morning, my Love. Perhaps it is the morning sun on your hair," he grinned lazily, picking up a piece and flipping it back over her shoulder. Peter laughed.

Lily sighed in frustration and shook her head. "Well you look like crap. Didn't you get any sleep last night?"

"I didn't sleep because I spent the night thinking of you."

When Peter laughed again, Lily stood with a sigh. "OK, that's it. I'm out of here," Lily stood and turned to leave.

"Off to hang another picture of me in your room?" James asked, still smiling easily.

"Piss off, Potter," retorted Gretchen as she followed her friend.

I was at a loss, was I supposed to follow too? I figured I should, so I did, leaving behind an indifferent James and a still-laughing Peter. I rolled my eyes. James really did seem to be doing it for the laughs.

When I made it out of the Great Hall, I looked to the left and right, but I couldn't see Gretchen or Lily anywhere. Had they ditched me? I stopped to listen, but couldn't hear them. I guessed I wasn't supposed to follow them.

I suddenly remembered my letter and pulled it from my pocket. I tore open the top and quickly read the contents of Farrah's letter.

_Hey Little Sister,  
Glad to hear you're doing well, and it's awesome that you've made some friends. But I'm writing to warn you. It's just that sometimes, Lore, you're too nice. I mean, it's great that you have new friends and that you really like them, just don't let them walk all over you. I know what it's like to make a new friend and how you just want to please them. Don't let anyone try to take advantage of you. Don't try too hard and make sure you protect yourself.  
Love you!  
Farrah_

I slumped back against the wall, the excitement on my face about getting a letter from Farrah had drained. She had brought things to my attention that I hadn't even thought about. What if Lily and Gretchen were walking all over me? I mean, they hadn't waited for me after leaving the great hall. And they did keep asking me for help with their homework and all…

Wait, this was crazy. Lily and Gretchen would never use me just to help them with their work. Lily was already smart enough on her own, and she was a prefect so it wasn't like she was going to steal my work. She despised that sort of thing. And Gretchen too. They wouldn't do that to me. It was awful of me to even think that. It was awful of Farrah to suggest it.

"Hey, are you all right, Lore?"

I looked up, it was James. I nodded quickly, feeling a blush already beginning to spread. I crumpled the piece of paper up. "Just… news from home," I responded, avoiding eye contact. Why was James talking to me? I mean, he and I were sort of friendly now… what with our interesting talk on the train and the way he saved me the other night from making a fool of myself in front of Sirius.

"Nothing bad, I hope," James persisted, smiling at me.

I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the ground.

"What happened to Lily and Gretchen?" he asked.

I shrugged. I honestly didn't know.

James ran a hand through his hair. "So you're her friend right?"

I was surprised enough to look at him and ask, "Who?"

"Lily. You're her friend?"

"Am I?" I was confused. Not just about his question, but about it in general. Damn Farrah for confusing me about the first real friends I had had.

"Well, aren't you? You guys were all laughing and talking before I came. She definitely seems to like you."

I smiled tentatively, blushing. That settled that. "I suppose I am then."

"Well, as one of her friends, can I ask you a question?"

This took me aback. "Uh… s-sure."

"Is there something I'm doing wrong?" he looked at me, frowning. "I mean, with Lily. What am I doing wrong with Lily? Most girls like it when I flirt with them. I don't want Lily to keep running off like that."

He thought that his cocky, 'I'm so great' come-ons were flirting? What kind of girl really responded to that? I was saved from having to answer that one. I had definitely not been expecting that question.

"James, hey! Come on," Peter called from the other side of the hall.

"Hold on a sec, Wormtail," James called back. He turned back to me.

"Well?"

I was at a loss for words. I knew I couldn't say what I was actually thinking. "Well… uh… I, ah… she…"

"James!"

James made a noise of frustration and ran back to Peter. I was a little relieved to be out of his presence. He wanted my advice and I wasn't sure I was allowed to give him advice about Lily.

"What just happened?" I asked myself aloud as I made my way to Transfiguration. James had just asked me advice on his love life? Me? That made _no_ sense.

His interest in it had seemed genuine though. Maybe it was worth a little investigative work.


	7. Rather Unfortunate Outbursts

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In Transfiguration, somehow James and Peter had arrived before me. I caught James's eye and he smiled at me. I sat down in my seat and stared at my books in front of me. As the rest of the seats filled up, McGonagall stood in front of the class.

"All right, children. Today-"

I heard some muttering from behind me and turned. It was Sirius speaking with James. Suddenly I felt a little tickling from inside my throat. I cleared it, but the tickling didn't go away.

I realized that McGonagall was no longer talking, so I turned to back to the front of the class. Her hand was at her throat and she was trying to speak but no words were coming out. I tried to speak as well, but nothing came from my throat either. I frowned and glanced back at Sirius and James, who were laughing silently. Well, now we knew whom to blame.

McGonagall looked very angry as she turned to James, Sirius and Peter and mouthed the word, "Detention."

Normally this would have sent the class tittering, but no one else seemed to be able to make any noise either. This set the class in a minor frenzy. McGonagall tried to get everyone's attention by waving her arms. Eventually, she clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. Once she had it, she sent everyone a stern look. She took her wand and charmed the chalk to write on the blackboard quickly,

_Calm down everyone. Potter, Black, Pettigrew, extend that detention for the next two weeks! Obviously you didn't learn from the last time, so twenty points from the Gryffindor House as well. Honestly, don't you boys know better by now?_

All the rest of the people in the Gryffindor House groaned silently as twenty points were taken.

_And someone please escort Mr. Snape to the infirmary._

We all turned to Severus, who had begun coughing up something that looked suspiciously like blood from where I was. Remus, obviously feeling bad about the actions of his friends, raised his hand and offered to do just that.

I turned to James, Sirius and Peter, mouth agape. They had just gotten detention for two weeks! How unfortunate to be them.  
McGonagall clapped again to get everyone's attention and wrote,

_Since this is, apparently, a silent class, take out your text and write seven inches about why it is useful to know how to transfigure an already-charmed object._

The rest of the class was, indeed, silent. The silencing charm wore off after a few hours and I was able to speak again. The prank, I thought, wasn't funny. It wasn't funny that Severus had begun coughing blood and had to be sent to the infirmary (although I wasn't sure James hadn't meant for that to happen. He didn't seem to like Severus very much). It wasn't funny that McGonagall couldn't give her lesson. It wasn't funny that I was clearing my throat for the rest of the day, trying to get rid of the constant tickle that seemed to linger afterwards, and consequently had a sore throat because of clearing it so much.

Later that night in the common room, I recounted the tale for Lily and Gretchen.

"They would do that," Lily muttered.

Gretchen nodded. "And I heard something about all of the papers sprouting wings and flying away today in Arithmancy, but I didn't quite catch the whole story. Apparently there were a few paper cut casualties."

While I had to hand it to the Marauders to some extent because no one else seemed to be able to come up with or pull off complicated spells like these, extensive paper cuts also weren't funny.

Lily shook her head with distaste, "They'll have detention for the next month if they keep going at this rate. Oh, and did you hear that Sirius has yet another girl friend? That's what, number four this month? Jesus Christ, that boy goes through women quicker than shirts."

Gretchen shook her head, "That's old news," she laughed. "They were broken up by dinner. I think it might be the record—one day."

I kept my mouth shut. Every time he got a new girlfriend, I mentally bet on how long she would last. I had guessed three days tops. While his player tendencies kind of hurt because it seemed like he would date everyone but me, I had accepted it. Besides, his relationships never lasted more than a week.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyway, Lore, could I get your notes on the unlocking charm? I could help you with that ch-" Lily began before some loud voices in the Common Room interrupted her.

"Did you see the size of that spider? Remus would have been out of there so fast," James Potter was recounting with Peter and Sirius. They all chuckled.

I heard Lily intake her breath sharply. "Maybe they won't notice we're here," Gretchen whispered to her.

"Are you kidding? He's got some sort of mental ability that allows him to stalk me," Lily whispered back fiercely.

I thought back to James's plea for my help with Lily. He was so handsome and after what he had said to me earlier seemed to actually kind of like her. And after all, just because I didn't seem to respond to his variety of flirting didn't mean that she didn't. So maybe it wouldn't hurt to intervene a little. "Is he really so bad? Of course it's annoying that he doesn't often leave you alone, but he's not mean to you," I whispered so softly that even I had to strain to hear myself. "I rather think it would be flattering that he likes you so much."

Lily and Gretchen exchanged grave looks. "That's the thing—he doesn't actually like me. He's just so crude. For one thing, he's cocky as hell. Half the time, he's acting like it's a privilege for him to talk to me. He just expects me to fall into bed with him because he looks my way. For another thing, declaring his love for me every chance he gets isn't flattering now, it's insulting."

I blushed and averted my eyes. That explained things. Lily was obviously a very proud person and she felt that he was mocking her. Then she was right- that was more than just annoying. It _was_ mean. But I honestly didn't think that James meant to be mean about it.

"Lily! My love, my rose, my dearest-"

"Cut it out, Potter," Lily snapped at James.

"No pet names then?" he asked with a sly smile.

"No anything. Shouldn't you be in detention?"

"Released on account of the broom closet was overrun with spiders. I guess we should find a new place for our trysts." The other Marauders chuckled.

Lily sighed and closed her eyes. "Please leave me alone?" she asked, head in hands. She sounded tired.

James exchanged looks with Sirius and Peter. Apparently, he was surprised at Lily's pleading and at a loss for words. "If my Lady commands it," he began chivalrously.

Lily groaned and collected her books to leave. Gretchen immediately followed her up the stairs. I watched it happen from my seat. Was I expected to follow them this time? Judging by what had happened last time, I stayed where I was.

"Lily, I didn't mean-" James began.

But by that time, Lily was half way up the stairs and not listening to him. I felt kind of badly for James, but he had it coming if he thought that insincerity was the way to win Lily over.

I dragged my eyes away from the scene and focused back on my own homework. I did continue to listen to the conversation, however.

"Don't look so defeated, mate," Peter offered.

"Peter's right. It's just Evans. She's always frigid," added Sirius.

I frowned at that. Lily wasn't frigid, she was protecting herself and her feelings. There was definitely a difference.

"But I really didn't mean anything by that. She needs to know that-" James started. I heard the ominous creaking of the couches and assumed the Marauders were holding court in the Common Room, like most other nights.

"I bet she knows," Peter consoled unconvincingly.

I rolled my eyes. She most certainly did _not_ know.

"Maybe." I heard him sigh. "I'll get the books. I'm DADA tonight? Wormtail, you've got charms and Padfoot, you've got…"

"Transfiguration. Already did it," Sirius announced proudly.

I wasn't following so I stopped pretending to write my essay and turned to watch the scene. James was sitting in a big arm-chair and Peter and Sirius were strewn lazily about on one of the couches.

"Liar," accused Peter.

"No lies. I even copied it for you two. I got a Quick Quill in a shop in Ireland over the summer, so all I had to do was dictate."

Ah, so that was what it was about. They each did a subject and then copied it for each other. But that was cheating! But on the other hand, did I expect any different from the Marauders? Remus maybe.

"Fine. Wormtail and I will get our books then."

"Don't hurry," Sirius waved them off.

James made a face. "Don't worry about _that_."

Sirius sighed to himself when James and Peter left him alone in the common room. He looked about the room and for a split second, our eyes met. I immediately looked back to my paper, face flushing, but the damage was done. He had seen me, and I could hear him walking over to me.

He sat across from me where Lily had been sitting with a smirk on his face. Not that I was looking at him… I assumed there was a smirk. There was always a smirk.

"I don't know if I really introduced myself to you. Or vice versa. I'm Sirius Black," he held out his hand. "Sorry about hitting on you earlier, first day back excitement and whatnot," he winked at me.

I just blushed and shook my head. "I'm Lorelei White. And I know who you are," I mumbled.

A cocky grin settled over his features at my words. Suddenly, in a moment that was completely out of character for me, I wanted to make it disappear. "You dated my sister," I continued in the same small voice.

Sirius blanched. "I did? Did I… like her?"

"Actually, uh… she broke up with y-you…"

"What?" he said, as if I had just been speaking in Sanskrit.

"She said you were too much of a… um, player," I said, looking anywhere but at him. Although, talking about Farrah was giving me an odd amount of confidence. I wanted to tell Sirius off _for_ her. He hadn't really treated her well.

He scoffed. "No one breaks up with me. It's scientifically impossible. Wait… White… Oh! Farrah White! Great girl. But, you see, she didn't really break it off. She was coming to me to break it off and I _let_ her."

"You let her?" I asked sarcastically. Where had this biting tongue come from?

Sirius smirked again. "Of course. I could easily have persuaded her not to. I have ways of doing that, you know," he told me, edging closer.

I was so mad that I didn't notice. He thought he could surmount Farrah so easily? She was anything but easily manipulated. I laughed bitterly, so caught up in him being an arrogant ass that I forgot about everything else. If there was one thing I did well, it was defend my sister. "I know all about your 'ways', and I don't think they would have affected Farrah at all."

"Really? And why's that?" he asked, continuously inching closer and closer.

"Well, for one thing… she…" I had finally noticed his proximity and it was making my heart race. I was almost positive my hands were sweating. I needed to leave. But, that was exactly what he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted me to leave so he could win.

"Yes?" he asked expectantly, eyes sparkling.

"She's… better than you!" I nearly yelled. My hand immediately clapped over my mouth as a look of surprise settled over Sirius's face. I had yelled at Sirius Black!

"Sorry I… I have… t-to go," I stuttered, gathering my books and papers (and leaving some in my haste) and flying up the stairs.


	8. Detention

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When I got to the dorm room, Lily and Gretchen were obviously finished discussing what had happened with James because they both stared at me in shock from their own bed on opposite sides of the room. I was out of breath from running up the stairs and I had slammed the door so I understood their shock.

"Sorry," I mumbled with a blush. I silently retreated to my bed in the corner of the room.

"Are you-" began Lily.

"Did you still need help with your Charms work? Because I just finished my essay," I interrupted. I didn't like lying, and if she had asked me if I was all right, I would have had to. I was most certainly _not_ all right. I had completely humiliated myself in front of Sirius Black. What on earth had compelled me to _yell_ at him? What was wrong with me?

Lily exchanged glances with Gretchen, shrugged and nodded at me. So I helped her. "Oh, and sorry about leaving you down there. He just… ugh! He really gets to me."

I shrugged with a small smile. She hadn't meant to leave me! "It's all right."

At bed time, I could tell Gretchen and Lily both had forgotten about my grand entrance. They bid me good-night and fell asleep promptly. I understood the sentiment, it had been a very long day, but I wasn't ready to fall asleep yet- there were too many unsettling thoughts in my head.

Why, all of the sudden was Sirius Black paying attention to me? I was a nobody. He hadn't even known me, unless it was in association with Farrah (and I was even in Sirius's year!). But should I really be surprised at that? After all, no one really knew me unless it was in association with Farrah. And up until now, that had been perfectly all right with me.

So maybe the big question wasn't, 'why are people paying attention to me?', maybe it was, 'why was I all right with the fact that no one did?'

"You're going to be late if you don't get up now," a voice boomed in my ear.

I awoke with a start the next morning and my head nearly collided with Gretchen's, but her quick reflexes saved the day- she backed away just in time. "I'm up," I replied mechanically.

"I can see that. Hurry. Breakfast is over in a few minutes."

I nodded, thanked her, and hurried off to do my morning chores. It may have seemed like it was accidental that I had slept so late, but it was completely on purpose. If I slept later and missed most of breakfast, I could avoid seeing Sirius in the common room, the great hall, and probably on the way to class. I thought it was a good idea- less contact with him meant less time for him to ridicule me for yelling at him. Personally, I don't like public humiliation.

As I predicted, I was late to breakfast, so I just grabbed a roll and left for class with the rest of the stragglers (a group I had never previously been part of). I wolfed down the roll as I made my way to Transfiguration. I would have been entirely on time and my plan would have been flawless if I hadn't slipped on the way to class.

Now, I buy sturdy shoes, and the floors at Hogwarts are not that slippery (and my balance is not _that_ bad). So this led me to believe that either something had been spilled or someone had tripped me. There was no one around, so obviously no one had tripped me. As I inspected the floor, I saw nothing slippery or anything other than the normal floor. It puzzled me for a while until I realized just how late I was going to be to Transfiguration.

I sprinted as fast as I could down the corridor and through the door of my Transfiguration class. Unfortunately, class had indeed already started and every single pair of eyes turned to me as I ashamedly looked for a seat.

"Miss White, detention tonight for being so late. I expected better from you," McGonagall announced, not looking away from the board where she was detailing the wand movements for a complicated spell. Oh great, I caught McGonagall in a bad mood. Bloody perfect.

"Sorry Professor," I mumbled. I slid into a chair in the back making as little noise as possible. I was ashamed of myself. Why would I risk being late to avoid someone? Was I that afraid of confrontation?

Halfway through the lesson, I felt eyes on me. I looked around and saw that Sirius was unwaveringly staring at me. His face slowly grew into a wide smirk and I immediately felt the heat rising to my cheeks as I looked away. Had I really, actually, literally, unapologetically, undeservedly yelled at him? Well, maybe it wasn't undeservedly. I mean, he had been an ass.

But that didn't make him less cute. In fact, it was part of the appeal of him. Is that backwards or what? I don't know what it is about these "couldn't care less" guys that drives us so crazy?

I would have given anything not to like him like I did. He was arrogant, selfish, and sadistic. He actually took pleasure out of humiliating me and watching me blush. If I could have stopped liking him I would have. And yet…

Those eyes. Those beautiful grey eyes. No one had eyes like Sirius Black. They were mischievous, but at the same time they were sad. He had a deep-rooted pain that no one could touch, that he had purposefully hidden to protect his pride. I could tell that for all his pranks and tricks, he was a sensitive person underneath it all.

I snuck another look at him. He wasn't looking at me anymore, but leaning back with his eyes closed, pretending to snore. Ok, so maybe he wasn't Mr. Sensitivity, but he couldn't be as bad as everyone thought. As I had thought.

After class, Sirius passed by me, nudging me with his arm. "Way to go, White. Detention and it's only the first week of school. Whatever are we going to do with you?" he joked sarcastically, grinning at his friends.

I blushed and kept my mouth shut. If Sirius was joking around with me, it probably meant that he didn't actually think that I was a huge freak for yelling at him the night before. That was a good thing. I wasn't going to mess it up now.


	9. Invisa-Ice and Blackmail

Detention. Detention. Detention? I couldn't fathom this. Me? I had detention? Where had Lorelei White gone, exactly?

"Lore, you look all… White," Lily said, concerned.

"Well, it _is_ her last name," Gretchen giggled.

"Not what I meant," Lily frowned at Gretchen, sitting across from her and me at the dinner table. "Lore, are you all right?"

I had barely heard this exchange. "Hmm?" I snapped back into it and blushed a little. "I'm fine. I just… I got detention today."

"So?" Gretchen asked lightly as she took a bite of chicken.

I looked at Lily helplessly.

"I don't think she's ever had detention before, Gretch."

"No way," Gretchen stared at me as if I had just grown another head.

I blushed harder and stared down into my lap. "I didn't mean to be mean," she remedied, "I just didn't know there were people past their first year who hadn't had a detention. I mean, for God's sake, even Lils has had a detention," Gretchen finished.

I hadn't looked at it that way. Maybe it was a rite of passage of sorts. After all, even Farrah had had several detentions. That thought didn't cheer me up. I was the studious, good sister. Farrah was the impressive, impetuous one. I wasn't supposed to be getting detentions.

Lily must have noticed that my mood hadn't gotten any better because she laid a sympathetic hand on my shoulder and gave me a smile. It was that simple gesture that made it all too much. Lily was so kind.

I had to finish my dinner and, instead of heading to the common room, actually head to McGonagall's office for detention. It was shameful, my walk to her office. I knocked quietly on her door and waited for permission to enter.

"Come in."

I did just that. I poked my head through the door and McGonagall looked up at me from her desk through the glasses perpetually perched on the tip of her nose. "Miss White? You do realize you are early to detention. Several minutes, in fact."

I blushed. I hadn't realized that. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It will give me a chance to let you know what you students will be doing this evening."

I looked up with a frown. "Student_s_?"

"Yes, you and the Marauders, as they are affectionately known. Remember that little stunt the yesterday?" she asked, looking back down at her papers.

I blanched. I was serving detention with the Marauders? I had completely forgotten they had detention too. James and Peter and… I gulped.

After a few moments of silence, I built up the guts to ask in a small voice, "Is it possible that I can polish trophies or clean floors or something else solitary?"

McGonagall stared at me in surprise. "Something solitary? Well, I must admit, that's two firsts for the night. Never has a student come early or requested detention away from the company of others. You do not like these boys? That's quite extraordinary. From what I hear, they are quite popular."

I shrugged and scuffed my foot, unwilling to meet her eyes. She continued despite my silence. "Odd indeed. Well, Miss White, you will be cleaning floors tonight."

It felt like a small triumph for me.

"But this particular job will be requiring all four of you."

Scratch that.

"Now, if Potter, Black and Pettigrew were punctual, we could begin."

"Until then we wait?" I asked.

She nodded solemnly so I found a seat to wait. But the second I sat, I had to shoot back up because the door swung open behind me to reveal Peter. "We're here, Professor," he announce, breathlessly, as if he had been running. James and Sirius strolled in after him.

"Good. Let's get to work then." She stood and swept past us all. We followed obediently, me perhaps more obediently than the others. The whole time, I felt someone's boring stare in my back as the Marauders walked behind me.

"Earlier today, a student slipped on his way to class and had to go to the infirmary to treat a broken wrist. The area was inspected and something that could only be described as ice was found. The only method we've found to melt it is a salt and alcohol mixture, but that has to be cleaned after it is applied, so your jobs for this evening will be as follows: spread the mixture, let it sit for no more than 10 minutes and then, by hand, clean the floor." She pointed to buckets and mops resting against a wall. "When you've finished the job in entirety, you may return your supplies to that closet and leave. Good evening, students."

I was astounded. Someone broke his wrist because of a fall? Someone fell here? Because of ice? Sounded like a prank. And we all knew who pulled pranks.

James turned to Peter and Sirius. "I told you it would work. Think of it, all the money we'll make with Invisa-Ice. It's bloody brilliant."

I picked up the bucket and poised it above the floor to spread the mixture. The three Marauders were standing as far as they could from the buckets and mops against the wall. Clearly they did not intend to help me. "Invisa-Ice?" I asked softly.

"Are you daft or something? Invisible Ice. People don't see it, can't avoid it, and slip. It's pretty simple," Sirius said, raising a challenging eyebrow with that signature smirk on his face.

The pieces were falling together. _I_ had slipped earlier that day on something! That was what made me late! That was why I had detention!

"Was it there before transfiguration?" I asked coldly, anger emboldening me.

James nodded with the same smile he had when he had declared the genius of his invention.

"_I_ slipped on it! That's why I was late and that's why I have detention with you lot!" I cried, upset.

Peter snorted, "Sorry. You weren't the target, if it's any consolation."

I frowned. "It's not." I was overrun with emotion. I had never gotten detention. Ever. I had never done anything wrong and now I was being punished for something that hadn't even been my fault! Time to finally stand up for myself. I was through being walked on by these boys. "I'm not doing this," I dropped the bucket and it made a hollow sound that echoed through the hall. "I'm not cleaning this mess up while you lot stand there and watch. You're the reason I have this detention in the first place!"

James, Sirius and Peter all looked at each other, but said nothing. Strangely, their silence emboldened me further. They knew they had done something wrong and I finally had the upper hand.

"If McGonagall knew-"

"But she won't," James cut me off. "She can't know or else she'll confiscate everything. It might even be worse because this isn't our first offence. She could go into the dorm and look in our trunks and everything! You aren't going to tell, right?" it wasn't really a question. More of a demand.

Of course I wasn't going to tell. I was all talk when I was in these moods. But they didn't have to know that. "I-"

"What's it going to take? To keep you quiet, I mean," Sirius cut me off this time. He was annoyed, I could tell. Angry that I might give away their little secret and get them in even more trouble. I never wanted Sirius to be mad at me. I was so conflicted.

I thought for a moment about the proposition. I could ask for anything and several things came to mind (none of which I would ever have actually said aloud) but I couldn't think of anything but Lily and how kind she was to me and how she didn't deserve James making fun of her. Though the terms of my deal would definitely make me persona non grata with the Marauders… "I won't tell McGonagall, but you," I pointed at James and his eyes got bigger than a cornered deer's, "have to quit bugging Lily."

"Wha-"

"I'm not finished," I interrupted. I had to admit, this power trip I was on was both exhilarating and exhausting, and I would be glad to go back to being quiet Lore in my dorm. But for now, I had been the butt of one too many of their cruel tricks. "Stop tormenting Lily Evans because she's sick of it. And I don't want to see any more of your tricks this year. I don't care what it is, but I don't ever want to be at the receiving end of a prank ever again. I know they're funny to you, but not to the targets! What about the boy with the sprained wrist? And Severus vomiting blood? And all the people with paper cuts? What kind of person laughs at someone else's pain?" I asked rhetorically.

"It's not entirely-"

"And you're kidding yourself if you think I'm going to finish mopping this," I gestured to the floor, crossed my arms and looked James square in the eye. I wasn't quite ready to meet Sirius's steely eyes yet.

The silence that followed was so heavy, it felt like something needed to explode just to make up for the absence of noise. I felt rather than saw the anger simmering in Sirius. Peter did nothing, but looked between Sirius and James, as if he was making sure what opinion of the situation he ought to have. "Those are your terms?" James finally asked.

"Yes," I almost whispered. Oh great, I seriously couldn't make my voice any louder? After that powerful speech I couldn't even follow up with an audible response?

"And if we accept, you won't tell McGonagall?" Peter was suspicious. Sirius was still frowning—too angry to speak apparently. This made me want to take it back. No! Sirius couldn't be upset with me!

But I cleared my throat and this time my, "Yes," was much louder.

"Fine we have a deal then," James extended his hand and I shook it hesitantly. Giving him one last look, I turned on my heel and left, conscious of the fact that three pairs of eyes watched me walk around the corner. I thanked God continually over the next 10 minutes for letting me not fall as I walked away.

~

"What a speech!"

"Sirius, come off it," James warned his friend as he walked back to the dorm.

"I can't! Can you believe it? I can't!" Sirius was practically in stitches, he was laughing so hard.

"I can't believe it either Padfoot!" Peter chimed in. He muttered the password to the Fat Lady and the portrait swung open for them.

"Why aren't you mad?" Sirius stopped laughing long enough to ask as he entered the common room. "After all, she did say you have to stop talking to Lily," he pointed out flatly. He took a seat on the couch next to Remus, who was lost in a book.

James was pensive. "No, she said I had to stop bugging Lily."

Sirius didn't seem to hear. "And no more pranks? It's like asking us not to breathe," he continued. "Why in the hell did you agree to it?"

"What's going on?" Remus asked with interest as he set aside his novel.

"I can't decide whether I'm more impressed or shocked…" Sirius muttered under his breath.

"What is he talking about?" Remus persisted.

"Lorelei White blackmailed us-"

"That's what it is! It's blackmail!" interjected Sirius. "Little imp blackmailed us! That's rich!" Sirius began laughing again. The girl who couldn't even look at him without blushing had suddenly grown the guts to blackmail them!

James shot him a look and continued. "Lorelei made us promise not to do anymore pranks and made me stop bugging Lily." James sighed and crossed his arms. This was definitely a problem.

"My God, how did Lorelei manage that?" Remus asked, infinitely amused. Perhaps not as amused as Sirius, but amused for the same reason. He wasn't one to miss the irony of situations like this. Quiet, shy Lorelei White had somehow made the Marauders agree to change their ways.

"She threatened to go to-"

"McGonagall! Can you imagine that? Threatened to have all our tricks confiscated, including the Invisa-Ice!" Sirius interrupted James once again. He still couldn't believe it.

James sighed again and rubbed his head. "Padfoot, let me get out a sentence! I know you're upset but-"

"I'm not upset… I'm… floored. I thought you said she was shy," Sirius turned to Remus.

"I thought she was, Padfoot," Remus shook his head with a smile.

"So, no more pranks then? And you can't speak to Lily?"

James moaned, "I don't know how I'm going to do that! I'm crazy about her."

"I'm sure it won't be as bad as you're making it out to be," Remus assured his love-stricken friend.

"Yeah," James slumped down in his chair, "it will be worse," he said miserably. "And what about the pranks? Sirius can't live without his pranks."

Sirius shrugged. He was still thinking about the look on her face when she had said, 'what kind of person laughs at someone else's pain?' So passionate. So… right. No one had ever laid it out so bluntly and now that he thought about it, he did sound like a cruel, heartless person. Maybe this agreement was a blessing in disguise.

"Maybe there's a way around it," Peter suggested, trying to be helpful.

"Yeah! Like she said she didn't want to _see_ anymore pranks. So maybe we still pull them, but we make sure she isn't around," James was proud of his loophole.

"And then what happens when she hears through the grapevine about them? We're all in the same house, she's bound to hear some gossip," Remus pointed out. Personally, he wasn't too torn up about the prospect of his friends not getting into trouble.

"All right then, mates. I guess we're out of business for a while. Who wants to play some exploding snaps?" Sirius suggested.


	10. Hogsmeade

I was torn for a while, wondering whether or not to tell Lily about my moment of genius and how James had promised not to bother her. When she and Gretchen sat in front of me at the breakfast table, I decided not to say anything. "How did you guys sleep?" I asked softly as I took a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Well," Gretchen answered as she heaped eggs on her plate.

"I slept well too. Do you always wake so early? Your bed was already made by the time I woke this morning," Lily remarked.

"I usually wake up not long after the sun. It's a sort of habit I picked up at a young age. A lot can be accomplished early in the morning," I shrugged and looked away.

"You must have missed your alarm yesterday though," Gretchen persisted.

"I must have," I nodded, still not meeting either of them in the eye. As I've said before, lying has never made me at all comfortable.

"Here comes James," Gretchen warned suddenly. I looked up briefly to catch James's eye. The second he saw me, he looked away and I knew he was going to honor our agreement.

"Oh perfect," Lily began dramatically. She brought her arms up on the table and turned her head away in a vain attempt to avoid having to look at him, or being seen by him. It all struck me as a bit overdone, but that was only because I knew James wasn't going to do his usual thing of tormenting her.

When he and the rest of the Marauders walked right past us without much more than a passing glance (I noticed that Sirius bumped into me as he passed, however), Lily and Gretchen's moods changed right away.

"What's going on?" Lily asked.

"I have no idea, maybe they didn't see us," Gretchen suggested.

"No, James looked right at Lore…" Lily trailed off. She turned to me, "Did something happen?" she was concerned.

"Nothing bad happened," it wasn't really a lie because as far as I was concerned, this was a good thing.

"Well, this is strange. Maybe he's over you," Gretchen suggested hopefully.

"Maybe… Huh," Lily was still perplexed, but she just shrugged and continued eating her breakfast. "Well, good riddance."

I said nothing but was pleased that she was pleased. So maybe my kind deed for Lily had resulted in my absolutely never having a chance with Sirius (he wouldn't want to date me now, considering how furious he was with me), but it was worth it. Friends sacrificed things for one another, right? And I would get over Sirius… Right?

I had all day to ponder this. In every class they were in, they were so quiet that a few teachers grew suspicious. McGonagall especially.

"Mr. Black, what is that that you're writing there? You know I don't tolerate note-passing in my class."

"I'm copying the board professor," Sirius replied lazily.

"Of course you are," McGonagall held out a hand to see his paper. She obviously doubted the sincerity of his words. But once she looked at the paper and saw that it actually was the work, she handed it back to him. "I apologize, Mr. Black."

"It's all right Professor. I would never do another prank in here," his words were obviously directed at me and, though I couldn't see him as he sat behind me and I wasn't going to turn around, I knew he was looking at me. Oh, he was soooo mad at me. I blushed lightly, but kept my eyes firmly glued to my own paper.

McGonagall returned to her seat and picked her quill back up. "That, Mr. Black, I will believe when I see."

That seemed to be the general consensus among all the teachers, but as it was, a whole week passed and the Marauders did nothing. However, James and Sirius were walking into the common room one night and happened to catch me alone.

"Do you think it's fine with just Wormtail there this time?" James asked Sirius.

I saw Sirius shrug. "He knows where to find us if he's too much to handle. I'll gladly take another duty-" Sirius cut himself off as he noticed me.

I turned my head, pretending I hadn't been listening to their very confusing, private conversation. "Well, well, if it isn't the little anti-match maker?" James asked sarcastically, bitingly even.

I bit my lip and looked back at my book. When I thought he was out of earshot, I muttered, "If it isn't Lily's nuisance."

Apparently, they weren't quite out of earshot because Sirius burst out laughing as James frowned at me. He clapped James on the shoulder and continued to steer him up the steps to their dorm and I heard, "Don't let her get to you, mate."

After that, James and consequently the rest of the Marauders ignored me. A few more weeks passed and before I knew it, it was the first Hogsmeade weekend in mid October and still no one had seen or heard of any big stunt from the Marauders. They still bothered some people, namely Severus (one time they were tormenting him so badly that Lily intervened and made them stop—she was angry at James for days), but James, Sirius and Peter didn't talk to me. Remus was still very civil.

"It's so quiet lately," Remus remarked one day in the common room. He and I were collaborating on our Transfigurations work.

"It is," I agreed. The common room was almost empty, save one or two people. "It's probably because Quidditch has started up. James and Sirius are both on the team, right?" I asked.

Remus nodded. "Yeah, Sirius has a new girlfriend, and they've both got practice most nights, and what with James being a shoe-in for captain, he has to be on his best behavior. Speaking of which-" I looked up from my paper. "I hear you've struck up quite the deal with them."

I laughed a little. "You could say that."

"It's funny, you know. I've been trying to get them to stop pranking for years but with a little blackmail, you manage to make them straighten up and fly right."

I blushed. "Now, I don't know if I'd go that far…"

"Oh?" Remus's brown eyes were questioning.

"It's more like an imposition to them. I mean, they all avoid me—I don't think I'm they exactly welcome it."

He shook his head and set down his quill. "Last night Sirius told me that he really doesn't even miss it. Well, he's still pranking Peter and James, but he told me that he doesn't miss having detention every night. Stay tuned Lore, this may turn out to be better than we both expected."

~

I awoke the next morning to a flurry of activity, which confused me at first because it was a Saturday. As I sat up, I realized that the all the girls were trying on and discarding outfits, applying make up and fixing their hair. It dawned on me that it was Hogsmeade weekend.

"I thought you got up early," giggled Lily when she saw me groggily stumble out of bed and place my glasses on so I could see. Lily was wearing a green sweater that reminded me of Christmas when paired with her red hair. She also wore some nice black trousers and had added a slight curl to her hair.

"Not on Saturdays," I replied softly as I pulled my own hair back into a ponytail and threw an oversized sweatshirt over my head. I thoroughly enjoyed Hogsmeade weekends. Almost everyone left except for first and second years, and I had the common room all to myself to read and finish all the work I had left from the week.

"You're not going like that, are you?" Gretchen asked, looking at me in the mirror. She was applying eye-liner very carefully.  
I looked down at what I was wearing, confused. Going where like this? Oh, she thought I was going to Hogsmeade! "I… I'm not going," I replied.

"What?" Lily turned on me. "You have to go! I assumed you were coming. Gretchen's got herself a date and I can't go all alone!"

I blanched. I had never been to Hogsmeade before. Well, I had been once in my third year, but I had ended up wandering around all alone and I had gotten lost. After that horrifying episode, I had never had the nerve to go back. "I wasn't planning… I never go to… I don't usually," I was at a loss for words.

"Oh come on, Lore. We're your friends now, stop being so tongue-tied," Gretchen sighed with impatience. "You don't have to be so… jumpy."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Be nice Gretch. But she's right, Lore. We're your friends, you don't have to be scared of us."

Lily had said it before to me, but it was still a shock to hear. They were my friends. _My_ friends. Over the past month or so, we had grown much closer and I had managed to poke my head out of my shell, so to speak. I was still cautious around everyone by nature, but they were so nice that it was easy to let my guard down. My friends. It brought a shy smile to my face. "I don't usually go to Hogsmeade," I finished one of my attempted earlier statements.

"Well let's correct that now," Lily suggested.

"I have nothing to wear," I protested.

"Borrow something of mine," Gretchen offered.

"I'm going to get lost," I insisted.

"I know the way!" Lily grinned.

"I can't-"

"Stop resisting," Lily said firmly. "You're coming with me and we're going to have a fabulous time with or without Gretchen," she shot Gretchen a look and Gretchen stuck her tongue out in response.

I looked down at myself. "I'm a wreck right now," I noticed.

"We can fix that!" Gretchen, satisfied with her eye-liner, turned around and began rooting around in her trunk for something.

Lily sat next to me on my bed and offered me my contacts. "This is going to be so much fun. First we get to make you over and then I get to show you Hogsmeade. I'm glad you're coming too, I might have had to go alone and that's no fun," she sighed. "I just hope we don't run into Potter," she made a disgusted face in the mirror as she re-checked her reflection for imperfections.

I took my contacts and made my way to the mirror and put them in in a practiced motion. "Who are you going with, Gretchen?" I asked curiously.

"Eddie Bloom. He's a Seventh year Hufflepuff," she sighed dreamily.

"She's had a crush on him for two weeks. So obvious about it too, how could he not ask you out?" Lily laughed.

"I am not!" Gretchen protested.

"You're always staring at him," Lily argued. "And you once followed him into the toilets," she laughed.

Gretchen turned red and didn't say anything else. I turned to give her a questioning look once I had put my contacts in but I let it pass. "So why didn't you get a date if Gretchen wasn't going to go with you, Lily?" I wondered.

Lily shrugged and held up a turtleneck against my form. She shook her head and threw it on the bed. "Too pale for turquoise."

It was true, I was too pale for turquoise, but it didn't answer my question. Gretchen answered it for me. "She was waiting for an offer, but it never came."

I turned to look at Lily, but she didn't look at me. "How about classic black? You can't go wrong with black."

She was right.


	11. Taking the Blame

I pulled at the hem of the black dress. Personally, I thought I looked a little overdone. I was wearing my own light jacket over the knee-length dress, but I was wearing leather boots. They came to my knee so I wasn't actually exposing very much skin at all, but somehow I felt naked. It wasn't that I was showing skin, but the leather boots paired with the dress felt so sophisticated and _suggestive_. Even the collar was high, but it was made of lace so it made it seem like it cancelled out.

Damn that Lily and Gretchen for picking out the perfect outfit. Stylish but covered-up. They had even applied my make up perfectly—completely understated and barely noticeable unless one looked especially hard. Overall, I had barely recognized myself in the mirror. I looked_good_.

Lily told me so as we walked through the streets of Hogsmeade. It was starting to get cold and the air was crisp with the changing season. We had parted ways with Gretchen a few moments earlier and we were on our own. "So where are we going?" I asked, still trying to pull the hem of the dress down.

"Stop fussing, you look incredible," Lily chided me for the third time. I just blushed and said nothing. "I thought we'd go to Honeydukes and then for a nice cup of tea."

I nodded, "That sounds good. What's at Honeydukes?"

Lily laughed as if I had said something extremely funny. When she saw the confusion on my face and the blush beginning to spread, she stopped laughing, "Wait, you actually meant that? What's at Honeydukes? Oh my dear girl, this is just too good for words."

I was still confused, "What is?"

Lily smiled knowingly and just tugged me along, "This way."

I understood exactly what she was talking about as soon as I took one step into Honeydukes. I had never seen anything so beautiful in all my life. So much chocolate, I didn't know where to begin. It all looked and smelled so wonderful. "This is so-"

"Amazing?" Lily finished for me, shooting me a smile. "I know. Good thing we're only allowed to come to Hogsmeade every once in a while or else I'd be 400 pounds! Everything here is delicious, especially the chocolate."

I helped myself to a sample and it nearly made me faint it was so good. "I'm definitely getting some of this," I pointed at what I had just eaten.

"Oh, yes they have a whole box of it over-" Lily cut herself off and I looked up to see why.

James, Sirius and Remus were standing on the opposite side of the store, seemingly completely oblivious to us.

"What is _he_ doing here?" Lily asked me, pointing to James. I thought it was weird that she always singled him out. Remus and Sirius were standing there too.

Though I was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, I still answered. "Probably buying some sweets. That would be my guess."

"You know, he's been extremely quiet lately. He hasn't spoken more than four words at a time to me. I wonder what's wrong."

"Something would have to be wrong? Maybe he's just… matured," I suggested. I still hadn't told her about our little agreement.

"James would never mature. He's going to be a git all his life," Lily countered, still staring at James as she said it.

I frowned. Isn't there that line in Shakespeare, 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.' This definitely seemed like it applied. Was Lily making a big deal about not liking James because she actually did? I shook my head. That was crazy. Lily hated James.

"Let's get our chocolate and go," I suggested.

"That's a good idea. Let's go get a cup of tea." Lily dragged me to the counter with my box of chocolate, only a few feet from the

Marauders. She shot James a glare, but he still wasn't paying attention so she decided to be a bit more drastic. "What are you doing here James? There are some poor third years just over there that you can torment."

James looked up. "Hello Lily," was all he said.

This didn't sit well with her. She huffed and grabbed her change, and me, and dragged me out. "Did you hear what he said?"

I was really confused now. "He said 'hello' to you," I answered.

"It was the way he said it, as if I were just some acquaintance."

"But isn't that a good thing? He isn't bugging you anymore," I pointed out, trying to be helpful.

Lily flushed—wait, that was what I did! "Of course, of course," Lily said hastily. Her eyes glanced around, making me think she was trying to come up with a lie. "I just mean that him being quiet usually means that he's up to something… else…" Lily trailed off, avoiding eye contact.

OK, now I was starting to get the real idea. I had honestly thought that I had been doing Lily a favor when I made James promise to stop bugging her. But it appeared that she only claimed to hate James. She made a big show of telling him off and being annoyed with him, but she didn't mean it. She _was_ flattered by his attention. After all, he was pretty much the most attractive boy at school, and he really liked her—that was kind of a compliment if you thought about it. And maybe… maybe she even liked him back. "I bet he didn't mean to treat you like an acquaintance," I assured her, wanting to undo the damage I had caused. I had messed up… big time.

Lily held the door to a pub open for me and we sat at a nearby table.

"I bet he did. He's so… infuriating."

My question here is this: why do girls act like they don't like someone when they actually do? I mean, I know it's so they can protect their feelings and everything, but she already knew that James liked her back! He had told her. Although, this reminded me of an earlier conversation. Lily just thought James was making fun of her.

"Do you think he has a girlfriend?" Lily asked softly as she poured herself some of the just-arrived tea.

I was snapped out of my train of thought. "No," I answered definitively. This was bad. I had really screwed up by telling James not to talk to her anymore. I had completely misjudged the situation.

"Then why-" the bell on the door tinkled, letting us know someone had come in. And judging by Lily's face, I knew exactly who it was.

"Ugh, there he is again! I can't handle this right now, I'm going to the bathroom real quick." To escape or to primp, that was my question.

I turned and watched as James and Sirius found a table. I wondered idly where Remus had gone, but remembered that he had looked sallow and sickly in Honeydukes. Perhaps he was sick and had gone back to the castle.

What to do? I knew I should correct the situation but I didn't know if I had the courage to go to James again. I'm one of those people that has a very hard time admitting I'm wrong. Plus, if they had made me nervous before when I wasn't in the wrong, I imagined it was going to be far worse now.

But I knew I had to suck it up. I was wrong and admitting it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do would be to swallow my pride and admit I was wrong… no matter how scary confrontation would be. I sighed, the best laid plans.

I stood and took the few steps over to the table they had chosen.

"Lorelei, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked in a shocked voice.  
I blushed and looked down. I was never going to get used to Sirius being mad at me… or even talking to me. "I… I have something to say…"

"Well then say it," James said dryly.

I looked up briefly, met his eyes, and looked back at my feet. "I was… wrong. I shouldn't have made you promise not to talk to Lily. That agreement is off."

James looked at me suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"It wasn't my place to make you stop talking to her," I tried to clarify, though I could feel my face burning hotter and hotter.

"So you're saying the deal's off?" Sirius jumped in.

I looked up, "I still don't want pranks," I insisted. The pranks were often just mean and if I could still stop that, I wanted to. "I just meant that I had no right to interfere, so I'm sorry. I meant well at first, because it really did annoy her but…"

James grinned. "But I can go talk to her."

I nodded, biting my lip. As I turned to leave, I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder. I looked back at James who was still grinning at me.

"Thanks Lore."

It was all I could do to nod, blush and return to my table. James really wasn't the monster I had initially thought. He really seemed like a good guy. I had about a minute to ponder this before Lily came back from the bathroom.

"I'm back. Did you order anything else? They have great sandwiches," Lily said. She was looking past me at James's table, and I could only assume he was looking at her because she quickly looked away.

Before I could answer, the familiar voice interrupted me, "So Lily, we seem to be near a bar. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Cut it out, Potter," Lily bit back after the initial surprise that he was flattering her again wore off. I wanted to lay my head on my arms—James had missed the point of our conversation. He was doing exactly what he had been doing before.

"I will never stop because to stop would mean I have failed, and if I've failed to win you then I don't want to live anymore," James declared dramatically.

"Just go away," Lily turned her head. Several minutes later, and several failed come-ons later, as the James and Sirius did finally leave, only I could see the smallest of smiles on Lily's face.

~

"You're cheery," Sirius noticed. James had been doing nothing but smiling since they left Hogsmeade. A complete turn around from the sulky James of the last month.

"Live and let live, that's what I say," James declared, still grinning like an idiot.

Sirius snorted. "It is not."

"Well, starting from now I'm going to say it," James corrected with an annoyed look at Sirius.

"You've moped around all month and now that she's let you speak to Lily again, you're just going to forgive her?"

"Come on mate, admit it. If you had been in her place, you would have done the same thing. After all, it _was_ our fault that she had detention."

"Yeah, but it's not like-"

"Oh come off it. You're just shocked because she got the best of you."

Sirius closed his mouth and shot a glare at his long-time friend. What, exactly, was so off-putting about this girl? He had tried to be mad about the no-pranking thing, but what she had said really stuck with him. So, honestly, he was impressed. No one had ever had the guts to stand up to them except for Lily. "Maybe..."

"Or maybe it's because she's the only attractive girl that doesn't seem to want to date you," he said. Sirius was about to throw a right-hook at his best friend, but when he saw James laughing, he broke out into his own bark of a laugh.

"So why are you so willing to forgive her?" Sirius asked James seriously.

James shrugged, "You saw how nervous she was to confront us. It couldn't have been easy for her, considering how shy she is."

Sirius snorted again, "More like how shy she _was_."

James ignored him, "It takes a special kind of person to admit to being wrong. You never do it," he grinned at his friend.

Sirius chuckled. "Maybe I don't. Neither do you, by the way."

James laughed and punched Sirius's shoulder. "Well no one can say we aren't honest with each other."

~

When we got back to the common room Lily solidified my suspicions of her feelings towards James by immediately telling Gretchen about what happened in the pub. "It was like all this month he had forgotten who I was, but he remembered when he saw me sitting there."

"Weird," Gretchen got big eyes as she listened attentively.

I was in the process of donning my over sized sweatshirt again to do some reading before bed. We had spent all day in Hogsmead and Lily had been in an infinitely better mood after James had spoken to her.

"What do you think happened, Lore?" Lily asked.

"Ifnkhewzleinglw," I tried to speak, but the sweatshirt wasn't completely over my head so it ended up coming out like that. Gretchen and Lily laughed at me and I blushed a bit before repeating,

"I think he was laying low for a bit. Maybe he needed time to… er… think or something. Maybe he really does like you."

A flash of hope appeared in Lily's eyes, but she shrugged. "If that's so, he has a rather childish way of showing it."

I couldn't agree more. Someone had to tell him that. And since I seemed so hell-bent on getting myself involved in things I probably shouldn't, it would probably end up being me. It was strange to me how much I had changed over just a few weeks.

It would be a lie to say I truly missed my old life. There were some perks to being alone—I never had to worry about anyone else but myself, and no one would ever accuse me of meddling. However, having friends was something I had tasted and now I was hooked. I only feared that Gretchen and Lily would tire of me and I would be stuck on my own again. I wanted to make more friends, but I didn't know how. After all, Lily and Gretchen had decided to become _my_ friends, not the other way around.

I could, however, start by mending old wounds. I wanted to make well with James and Sirius (well, Sirius mostly). James had seemed happy enough to just be talking to Lily again, but it wasn't enough. I still felt so guilty about ever having made him promise that in the first place.

"LILY!"

Where was that voice coming from? Must have been James calling from the common room. I shot a look at Lily, whose face had lit up despite the fact she was making a big deal of rolling her eyes and opening the door to yell at him.

"James, stop yelling! You're disturbing everyone."

"But, Lily I just wanted to give you the pleasure of being my date to-"

"James, you are so delusional! I'm not, nor will I ever, go out with you!" Lily said angrily and stormed back into the room.  
Now this made _me_ want to roll my eyes. OK, so maybe I agreed with Lily about the whole declaring-your-love and cocky pick up lines thing. It was getting rather old. And couldn't he tell that it wasn't working?


	12. Stand Up For Yourself

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Obviously James couldn't tell his bit with Lily wasn't working because Monday morning at breakfast, he made a big point of presenting her with a bouquet of lilies (which I thought was very clever). Lily was flattered, and surprised at the sudden sweet change in James, but when he made a comment about using first years to check for poison ivy, Lily made an equally big point of shoving them in his face. "Just leave me alone, Potter!"

James went off one way and Lily went off the other way. As Sirius and I passed each other in pursuit of our respective friends, Sirius gave me a wink and a wolfish grin. I was so surprised, I almost ran into a fourth year on my way out of the dining hall.

Sirius wasn't still upset with me? He was winking at me again? He was smiling at me again? And it was such a good smile too… one of those smiles that made me feel like it was only for me. Like he had never smiled for anyone like that before (which was not true, I knew that).

In potions, I was having a hard time concentrating on my shrinking potion because of Sirius. He was at the table ahead of me and for some reason, dicing the caterpillars wasn't as interesting as the back of his head… or that beautiful dark hair… He must have sensed me watching him because he turned around and looked right into my eyes. I almost fainted when he smiled at me.

The next thing I knew, Lily and I were walking out of the Infirmary. "Honestly, Lore, I've never seen you so distracted. You're never so careless with the dicing! Let me see your finger again," she held out her hand.

"It's started to heal already," I protested, offering my hand as proof.

"I think the potion has started working," I said in a small voice. I was so embarrassed. I had actually cut myself because I was distracted by those sexy… I mean Sirius Black. When I had cut myself, he had actually offered to take me to the infirmary too! I had expected him to laugh at me, but he didn't!

"I'm sorry I made us have to redo the potion," I said to Lily.

"It's all right. I'm just a bit worried about you. You never mess up potions. What's with you?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eye, "I just haven't been myself lately." That was an understatement.

On my way to my next class alone, I was bumped into again, rather hard I might add. It sent everything I was holding to the ground and I couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu from the beginning of the school year on the way to transfiguration… and now that I thought about it, a few more times over the last month.

"Watch it, _Gryffindor_," snapped a Slytherin girl to my form on the ground.

I looked up at her, immediately recognizing her from the train. "You bumped into me," I pointed out softly, picking my books and papers.  
Suddenly, a hand was on the back of my robes and pulling me up.

"What did you say to me?" she asked incredulously.

It was my first reaction to cower away and mumble an apology, but I couldn't let it go. There was no way I was going to let this girl bully me. "You're the one that knocked into me," I repeated, looking into her eyes. "Maybe you should be helping me pick up my things that you knocked out of my hands." I carefully dislodged myself from her grip.

She raised an eyebrow and got a bit closer to me. "Stupid girl—you need to learn not to speak that way to your betters. You sure you don't want to take that back?" she challenged. Seriously? How cliche was that?

I shrugged. "No. It's called common courtesy—you drop something, you pick it up."

She looked down at the books in my hands, and before I knew it, she had slapped them out of my grip and they were scattered back on the floor. "Oh, but I didn't drop them, you did. Remember?" she asked meanly. And all of the sudden, I did remember. I remembered how I had made a mean comment about her teeth on the train and she had told me to watch out. Oops, I guess I had forgotten that warning.

I looked down at them and rolled my eyes. "Oh please. Seriously? You're really going to harbor that grudge for over a month? Don't you have anything better to do?" I asked sarcastically. I lifted my wand and easily levitated them into my bag. I began walking away.

"Now you're really going to want to take that back," the girl warned again.

I didn't turn back around, "Or what?"

In that second, I knew exactly what was going to happen next. Somehow it was one of those moments of clairvoyance that almost never happen to me. Somehow, I knew she was going to try to hex me, but I couldn't do anything with my back turned—I wouldn't be quick enough.

Before she finished the curse, someone else shouted, "Expeliarmus!" I heard the girl's wand hit the ground.

"How dare you try to hex someone while their back is turned?" I turned around; it was Remus. He was furious with the girl. I mean, I've never seen him so angry. "You can be sure I'm telling Slughorn, and making sure you have detention for a good long time. And you can also take fifty points from Slytherin."

I caught a last look at her before she shot me a death glare and left in a huff.

"Are you all right, Lore?" Remus asked me with concern.

I nodded wordlessly, smiling. "Thank you, Remus."

He looked after the girl and back at me. "How in the world did you get caught up in a fight with her? She's a mean girl."

"Don't I know it?" I asked rhetorically. "I was just… um… trying not to be walked all over. Sorry," I said, looking down.

Remus, to my surprise, began laughing. I felt his hand on my shoulder as he began walking me to my next class. "Lore, listen to me. You shouldn't ever be sorry for standing up for yourself. I'm actually kind of proud that you did—you never would have done that last year. At least now Dorinda knows that she can't mess with you easily."

I nodded, smiling. "Thanks Remus." Now I had a name to put with the face. Dorinda.

"You just need to learn some things about fighting."

"Like never turn your back on a pissed-off Slytherin?" I suggested.

Remus laughed again. "Exactly. Listen, if you'd like to know a few ways to protect yourself, I would be more than happy to teach you a few simple spells. I mean, if you're going to be gutsy enough to challenge 7th year Slytherins in the future, you should know some," he teased. "Peter's pretty good at them too."

I blushed. "I suppose that wouldn't be a bad idea," I reasoned. All the way to class, I felt like someone was watching me. Maybe knowing how to defend myself _would_ be a good thing.


	13. Good Advice

The event with the Slytherin girl had been very exciting, and oddly gratifying, but, at the end of the day, I was more than happy to settle onto a couch and read my book. However, the universe seemed determined to spite me, because not only was I unable to find solitude, the other person in the common room was James.

I sighed and sat onto the couch on the opposite side of him. He looked over at me and gave me a weak smile. "Hey Lore, what are you doing here?"

I held up my book as I tucked my legs under me. "Reading."

"I heard you had quite the day. First a run in with a potions knife and you lost," he grinned at me.

I blushed and looked down at my finger. "Yeah, but you can't even really see it now. It probably won't even leave a scar."

James nodded, "That's good. But then you almost got cursed by a Slytherin."

"But Remus was there, luckily."

He nodded and we went back to silence. Only a little awkward. After a few minutes, he heaved a sigh and looked over at the fire. I let the silence go on for another few seconds before I ventured to speak.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked softly.

James looked over at me and shrugged, "You know, at first I didn't understand why you didn't want me tormenting her anymore. But now I know it's because she doesn't feel the same. But… I thought… I dunno, I thought that you going back on the deal meant that she had feelings for me or something…" James rubbed the back of his neck.

James needed to vent, so I let him. I sat quietly and didn't interrupt.

"I really don't understand why she doesn't like me. I'm not a bad person. I'm smart, popular, attractive… apparently not modest, but modesty is overrated." I laughed at his joke. He was funny too, add that to the pro-list. "And I love her! I've told her as much, too!"

I pursed my lips. I looked down at my hands, saying as softly and unobtrusively as possible, "Maybe she doesn't think you're being sincere."

"Come again?" James asked. He didn't seem mad, just confused.

"Well, it's just that you're always declaring your love and asking her out like it's a big joke or something. Maybe she doesn't think that you're being honest," I said, shrugging.

James looked defeated. "But… I don't know how else to do it. I've never liked anyone as much as I like Lily."

"So she can hurt you worse than anyone else could?" I guessed.

"Exactly!" he sounded relieved someone else understood.

"So you downplay it just in case she doesn't reciprocate," I continued. "Because if she didn't, it would hurt more than anything. But if you act like you never cared that much in the first place, then no one would know how hurt you actually were."

James sat back in his seat and just watched me in silence for a while. He actually looked like he was at a loss for words. But then he found his voice, "Sirius has been my mate for years and he still hasn't figured out what it's taken you a matter of weeks to figure out."

I fought the urge to blush. This was high praise. "Well, those emotions are completely understandable but they don't apply here. You have a genuine shot, you just have to change how you're approaching everything," I told my book in my lap.

James frowned and turned to look at the fire. "So why are you helping me anyway?" James asked me suddenly. "Not long ago you were telling me to leave her alone."

"Because I, apparently, can't help but meddle," I sighed. James chuckled. "And she's my… friend. My first real friend. I want her to be happy. At first I thought that not being bugged by you would make her happy but now I know… I know differently." I was pretty sure it went against the girl-code to let him know flat out that she liked him back.

"So what do I do?" he asked, turning his entire body to face me.

He wanted my advice? I bit my lip. "Well, first of all, you really should stop asking her out and declaring your love. Also, she finds your cockiness sort of off-putting. Right now, she doesn't trust you not to tease her. You can't get her to change how she feels about you without first having her trust. So, you need to earn it. If you become her friend first, you can show her that you really do care about her."

"You make it sound so obvious," James laughed.

I laughed too and shrugged. "It's just a girl's perspective."

He grinned and got up off the couch. "But it was one that I needed. Thank you." He leaned down and planted a quick kiss on my forehead. I was extremely glad he didn't look back at me because I immediately turned scarlet. It was the sort of kiss a brother would give his little sister, or a good friend would give after helpful advice. Were James and I friends now too?

As I cracked open my book, someone else sat on the end of the couch. I glanced over and my heartbeat quickened. It was Sirius. Had he just come into the common room, or had he been listening?  
He immediately answered my question. "That was really… nice."

I looked back at my book and smiled, "Um… Thank you." I was fighting off the blush. I really needed to work on that.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked curiously.

"Say exactly what needs to be said."

I literally couldn't speak. Sirius thought I said the right things? That was some form of compliment, I was almost positive. Well, at least from the tone of his voice, it seemed like a compliment. He seemed impressed. I had impressed Sirius Black! I was practically swooning.

"So I decided I'm turning over a new leaf," Sirius changed the subject abruptly, throwing an arm over my shoulder.

I blushed and hunched my shoulders so I was as small as possible.

"What's that?" I asked softly.

"I'm embracing this no-pranking policy of yours."

This startled me so much that I looked right into his eyes. Whoops, big mistake. I spent the next five seconds lost in the mystic grey abyss before I found my voice again. "Y-you are?"

He nodded. "Like I said, you say exactly what needs to be said. You really got to me."

OK, now I was swooning. I couldn't believe I was so close to Sirius  
and he was being so nice. "H-how?"

"You said, 'how could you enjoy someone else's pain,' or something along those lines. It really got to me. You were right. Well, not about Lily and James not speaking because they're perfect for each other. But you are right about the pranks… So," he raised his right hand, "no more mean pranks, I promise."

Sirius was obviously very serious about it. As I mulled it over, Sirius watched me. He then pushed my glasses up on the bridge of my nose with his other arm. Since his left was over my shoulder and his right was now close to my face, it almost felt like I was in his embrace. I could have melted.

"Well, Lorelei White, I'll see you later," he gave me a dazzling smile and got up and left me in a daze.

Well, I was in a daze for a few reasons. First of all, Sirius definitely wasn't mad at me. Second, he had touched me! Twice! Third of all, I had left an impression on him that made him want to change his ways. Fourth, he was super-nice to me. And while I wasn't fool enough to think that he like-liked me, he did seem to like me.

But he was flirting with me! However boys like Sirius loved to flirt, whether they intended on following through or not. And in my case it was probably the latter.


	14. Revelations at Breakfast

"So who were you talking to in the common room last night?" Lily asked me the following morning over some breakfast.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to answer right away because I had just shoved half a roll into my mouth. I felt my face turning red, however. "No one," I responded, partially muffled by the roll. I shouldn't tell her about James, should I?

Gretchen laughed, "Liar."

"Is it someone special?" Lily asked, giving me a nudge with her elbow. "Like a boy maybe?"

Deciding to tell only part of the whole story, I bit my lip, but I couldn't keep from smiling. "It was Sirius."

"Sirius? Sirius Black? You were talking? He was actually talking? To you?" Gretchen was surprised.

Lily shot Gretchen a look just as I was starting to get a bit offended. Gretchen tended to do that—speak her mind without first making sure the things she was saying weren't offensive. But Lily always made sure she wasn't being overly mean. Gretchen wasn't a mean person, I just assumed she felt a little jealous. After all, I was the third wheel and because of me, she and Lily weren't as close as they had been.

"Sorry, I just meant that Sirius isn't usually the talking type. And he's never shown interest in you before. Just be careful of being played. I don't want you to get hurt," Gretchen corrected herself. And that was why I liked her.

"He was just… um… telling me that he's not going to play pranks on people anymore."

Lily choked on what had been in her mouth when I said that, and began coughing. "He," she coughed a little more, "what?!"

I nodded and moved the food around on my plate a little. "He told me that something I said made him think and he's not going to prank people anymore."

"I thought they had been too quiet. What on earth did you say to them?" Lily asked me. "And when did you say it?"

"Remember when I had detention?"

Lily and Gretchen nodded.

"Well, I had it with them and I just got so mad about their pranks that I sort of lost it. I think I said, 'how could you enjoy other people's pain?' and Sirius just was telling me last night that it got to him."

Lily laughed and sat back. "Well imagine that. Sirius Black has temporarily resigned his trickster ways to impress a girl."

I shook my head vehemently. "Oh, I don't think it's temporary, and he wasn't trying to impress me."

"He wasn't?" Gretchen asked.

"He's doing it because it's the right thing to do," I insisted.

Lily and Gretchen looked at each other like they knew something I didn't. Lily said, "Honey, Sirius doesn't do things like that because they're the 'right thing to do.' He thinks about snogging and not much else, to be honest."

I frowned. It had definitely not seemed like Sirius was only interested in snogging me. But then again, what would I know about it? No one had ever flirted with me before. And now that I was thinking about it, he had been awfully touchy with me. Maybe he was only interested in a snog. But if so, why me? I was sure there were many other willing girls. Girls who could tell when he was flirting with him, so he wouldn't have to work so hard… but then again, boys did like the thrill of the chase… Oh, I was so confused!

"Maybe we're wrong though," Gretchen remarked thoughtfully. "He might have really changed. I mean, it's not completely out of the question."

That gave me hope. Maybe Sirius had changed. Well, I hoped for my own sake he had, because at this point I was fairly head-over-heels.

"Good morning Ladies," Sirius interrupted our conversation. Peter, Sirius and Remus were also there. I hoped Sirius hadn't heard any of our conversation.

"Morning," I responded softly.

Lily was in the process of rolling her eyes. "Good morning, Lily, Gretchen, Lore." James nodded at us. "Do you mind if we sit here?" James asked politely.

I was quick to shake my head and gesture for them to sit. The Marauders all sat in the empty space next to us. Remus took a seat next to me, Sirius next to Lily and Peter and James next to Remus and Sirius, respectively.

Then to Lily and Gretchen's utter surprise, they began talking amongst themselves instead of to us. They weren't ignoring us and being outright rude, but it was a much more relaxed atmosphere. Their conversation was fairly neutral and casual. And eventually Lily, Gretchen and I found ourselves listening to their conversation.

"So I hear Professor Slughorn is changing partners around today," Remus remarked as he took a bite.

"Really? Well, I suppose that's for the best after the fiasco yesterday. That was some cut, Lorelei," James flashed me a grin.

I blushed and looked down at my finger. "You can't even really tell," I held out my finger to show them that it had completely healed.

Sirius laughed. "It isn't just because of you, Lore. Remember the fire after they left? It was just a string of bad luck in that room yesterday. First you almost cut your finger off-"

"It wasn't that bad!" I laughed.

"It really wasn't," Lily interjected as well. She was laughing along with us.

"Well, after that, Frank Longbottom's sleeve caught fire from under his cauldron and that was a mess. And Samantha Pitt dropped a whole jar of crickets. Slughorn's probably still trying to catch them!" Sirius burst out laughing, and his laughter was infectious. He even had Lily laughing.

"So is he going to let us pick our next partner?" Peter asked after the laughter had died down.

"I doubt it," James shook his head. "What do you think?" he asked Lily, looking at her with curiousity.

Lily's eyes widened. James was asking her for _her_ opinion? "He might," Lily suggested. "I am a Prefect and he is sort of… a favorite teacher of mine. I might be able to convince him," she said.

Six pairs of eyes turned to her. "You'd use your position for your own purposes? I'm shocked, Evans," Sirius grinned.

Lily rolled her eyes, but this time it was playfully. "Yeah well, I just don't want to get stuck with Lorelei again," she kicked me under the table. "Just kidding."

"I wouldn't mind," Sirius winked at me.

I looked down and put another bite of eggs into my mouth. He made me so nervous. "I don't mean to be a klutz," I referred to what Lily had said, rather than what Sirius had said.

Remus patted my shoulder, "You're not. Everyone's hand slips now and then."

"You just happened to be holding a knife," James teased and everyone laughed.

I could feel myself blushing, but oddly I wasn't overwhelmed with the urge to leave. I knew it was all in good fun and no one meant any cruelty. I could deal with some gentle teasing from friends.

"Yeah well, at least she wasn't holding it over someone else," Sirius laughed.

"Anyway, we'd better get going or we'll be late for Arithmancy," Remus checked his watch again.

We parted ways, and Lily and I headed to Charms. "That was nice, wasn't it?" I asked her. It was a loaded question, I wanted to see how she was reacting to the new and improved James.

"It was nice. Remus is looking a bit pallid, though, don't you think?" Lily asked.

"He looks much better than he did a few days ago," I remembered how he had looked in Hogsmeade. Much more sallow.

"Maybe it's just a cold. He gets a lot of colds."

I nodded. "But what about James? He was nice, so different. What happened?" I feigned bewilderment as best I could.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know. He was being nice. Normal even."

"He was looking good, too, huh?" I asked almost blushing because the question was out of character for me. I managed to fend it off, and shot her a side look.

She smiled and shrugged. "Like I care," she said sarcastically. But I had definitely not missed the smile.


	15. Switcheroo

"All right everyone, new partners today. And maybe for the remainder of the class. There were too many accidents, too many slip ups yesterday. Maybe a bit of a change would help refocus you."

"Professor could we-"

"No," Slughorn was firm. "No choosing partners for yourself. This is how we got into this mess in the first place, isn't it?"

So much for Lily's big plan. "All right, Digger and Pitt. Black and Evans. Lupin and Longbottom. Jameson and Hart. White and Potter. Scott and Turner. Wilson and Park. And Sellinger and Snape. All right, you all have your partners. Please go to your respective tables. Today we're mixing a very special healing potion, the directions of which are on the board."

I looked over at James, who smiled at me, but looked longingly at Lily. She wasn't paying attention, because she was setting about cutting up the gingerroot. James came over and sat next to me.

"Has she said anything about me?" James asked in a low voice as we began preparing the ingredients.

"Well, she did say that it was nice this morning at breakfast. I think it's going to work, James."

James grinned at me, "Well, with you by my side I can't fail!"

Glowing from the compliment, I smiled. "This morning was perfect on your part. Don't obsess over her and give her a chance to obsess over you. Just keep doing what you did this morning."

"That sounds great. God, Lore, have you ever considered being a life coach or a shrink or something?" James asked, laughing.

I shook my head, "Not really."

"How'd you get so good at giving advice?"

I sighed and dropped the ginger into the cauldron. "I guess it came from so long just watching people. I spent so long watching everyone else have a life, and usually screw it up. I thought about what I'd say to them if I had the chance."

James smiled a half smile, "And now you have the chance."

"Exactly," I smiled. James and I seemed to understand each other better than our other friends did.

"You know, I used to be shy too."

My eyes grew big. James used to be shy? That seemed like an impossibility. "What?"

James laughed, "Don't look so surprised! Just because I have confidence now, it doesn't mean that I was always like this. Yeah, when I was younger I was all feet and hands and I had a stammer."

"I don't remember that," I said doubtfully.

"Well it was at age 10 or so."

"So you haven't been shy for 6 years? That doesn't count," I said with a laugh, throwing an ingredient into the cauldron.

"It does too!"

I smiled and sobered, "So what did you do to change that? Because you obviously aren't still shy."

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I met Sirius. We've been friends for 6 years now and I don't really ever see that changing." I cast a side-long glance at Sirius. He was laughing at something Lily had done, and his smile made me smile. "He's really good at getting people out of their shells."

"I believe it," I agreed. I looked again at Sirius and he noticed. He shot me that melt-me smile and winked. My eyes returned to my cauldron, but not before I smiled back. "He seems so at ease with himself."

"Yeah well, if you really knew what his life was like-" James cut himself off as Slughorn passed our desk, checking the cauldron to make sure the potion was the right color.

"Pay attention, you two. This is about five shades too dark."

"Sorry Professor," I quickly apologized, adding more powdered moonstone.

As Slughorn moved on to the next person, James leaned over to whisper, "We should probably pay more attention to the potion."

I nodded my agreement, but couldn't help look back over at Sirius. Was there something wrong with his life? His school life was great, what with his friends and status as ladies-man. I mean, I knew that he was related to a lot of Slytherins, most of them highly unpleasant, but I couldn't imagine that Sirius ever let people like that get to him.  
At the end of the class, Slughorn was very disappointed with James and my final product. "This is almost unusable, you two. I expected better."

I mumbled an apology and turned around. After a wave and a see-you-later to James, I found Lily. "Our potion was sub-par. Probably because James and I talked almost the whole class," I said, offering Lily a small smile.

"Do you like him?" Lily asked, frowning. "It's fine if you do," she assured me, but her eyes said differently.

"Of course not!" I protested.

"Good because I think Sirius likes you, and I know you like Sirius," Lily remarked suddenly and very unexpectedly.

Oh, really? What had given it away? Maybe it was my uncontrollable blushing, or drooling, or staring, or having practically cut off my finger. "What? I-I don't," I began to protest.

"Oh, don't even give me that. You couldn't take your eyes off of him," Lily laughed. "So I have an idea."

I was curious. "Oh?"

"Yes. What if we switch partners? You could be with Sirius then," she smiled.

Which I would love. Being near Sirius was like being on drugs—he made me giddy almost. "But then you'd have to be with James," I pointed out.

Lily bit her lip, which made her look like she looking for an answer other than, 'well I actually like him so it works out perfectly for me too.' "It's all right, I'll sacrifice myself to bring you too together. You might be the one to change him, Lore."

I scoffed, "No way, there's no way he thinks of me like that."

But Lily wasn't listening to me. She was knocking on Slughorn's office door and entering without so much as a second thought. Geez, had she gone in his office often?

"Oh, hello Miss Evans. How are you? Are you coming to my meeting this weekend?" Slughorn looked up from the papers on his desk and smiled at her.

"Oh, of course Professor! I wouldn't miss it for anything," Lily said with a bit of forced enthusiasm.

"What's this about then?"

"It's just… Lore's new partner-"

"James Potter?"

"Yes. Lore was telling me how James is rather distracting. And I know she really wants to do as well in this class as she can. Potions is her very favorite class, just like me. So I know she doesn't want to be… distracted by James. You know?" I had to hand it to Lily. She was really pouring on the charm.

Slughorn looked pensive. "No, of course… we can't have that, now can we?"

Lily shook her head, giving him an innocent look. "But I offered to keep my eye on James for her. I keep handing in all perfect potions, so I figure that James can't really do any harm to my learning experience. Heck, he might even learn something from me!"

Slughorn rubbed his chin as he thought. "Very true…" He turned to me. "You, there, Miss… er… White. Come here if you will?" It took me a few minutes to realize that he was talking to me. I obediently trudged up to the front of the room. "Who is your partner?" he asked Lily.

"Sirius Black," she replied automatically.

"All right then, how about if you two switch partners? Would you have any objections Miss White?" Slughorn asked me.

I looked at Lily who avoided eye contact. Hey, I knew that move! I shook my head at Slughorn and hiked my books up higher in my arms. "No, Professor. Of course not. It was my idea, after all," never before had I lied to a teacher. Oh dear. Strangely, I wasn't turning bright red and giving it all away.

"Very well then. You two may switch and I'll see you both tomorrow."  
We left quickly and made our way down to the Great Hall for dinner.

"That was brilliant," I laughed at Lily. "I didn't know you're an actress."

Lily grinned. "Slughorn is pretty easy. Plus he likes me so it makes it even easier."

"Well lucky you," I grinned back. "Teachers like me, but mostly because I'm quiet and keep to myself."

"And because you hand in all your work on time," Lily added as we chose seats for dinner. "Anyway, so we have to figure out how to tell the boys we've swapped."

"I'll do it," I offered. "Tonight James and I have to write a six inch paper about the reasons why our potion went wrong. I'll tell him then."

Lily looked almost relieved. "Ok good. Oi, Gretchen!" she called and waved to Gretchen.

"History of Magic was ridiculous today. I swear not one person was awake."

"Really? Potions was interesting," I smiled inwardly at my ironic joke.


	16. Aha!

"So I'm not your partner anymore," I remarked shyly to James later that night as we began collaborating for our paper for Slughorn.

"My partner for this?" James asked, not looking up from his work.

"Your partner for Potions. Lily is."

This got his attention. "What? What happened? What did she say?"

"She has this crazy idea that Sirius and I should be partners for some reason," I purposefully avoided his eyes as I said that. "So she offered to switch and made Slughorn agree. She's your partner."

"Why would she do that?"

I sighed. There was only so long I could put off telling James that Lily liked him—or at least I thought she did. "I have a feeling…"  
James grinned, almost like he knew what I was going to say.  
"I think she may not hate you as much as you think she does," I finished. It wasn't exactly telling him the whole thing, so I figured I was good.

He smiled and raised his eyebrows at me. "She may not hate me as much as I think she does? Does that mean she likes me?"

"Remember when I said that your cockiness is off-putting?" I tried to ask without smiling. I swear, if I wasn't completely head-over-heels for Sirius and trying to set him up with someone else, I would have had a thing for James.

James laughed, "Ah, but it's what makes me so endearing! Besides, I like to think of it more as 'confidence' instead of cockiness."

I laughed and shook my head. "Nope."

James laughed too and threw an arm over my shoulders. "Lorelei, my girl, I think you might be the best thing that ever happened to me."

I blushed, shrugged out from underneath his arm and mumbled, "Not bloody likely."

"Why Lore, is that a curse coming from you? I didn't think it was possible! You didn't even curse when you were yelling at Padfoot, Wormtail and me, and basically calling us scum of the earth." I blushed again and looked down at my paper with a smile. "So Lily asked to switch?"

This topic was much more feasible for me. "I think this is a good sign, James." It meant that, to some extent, Lily was admitting to herself that she liked him. And admitting it to herself was the first step.

James blanched, "Oh Merlin, you're right."

"That wasn't quite as excited as I was expecting," I remarked, worried. Was he changing his mind?

"I mean, I am excited, but what if I screw it up? What if I say the wrong thing and make it worse?"

How un-James, I thought. James was usually so confident and sure of himself. What about Lily was so unhinging? "Just remember that you're trying to earn her trust. Don't say anything… offensive. Just be her partner and stick to topics like the potion and other classes."

James inhaled deeply and started nodding, "You're right. I can do this."

"You can do this," I repeated.

He shot me a smile and looked back at his work. "So Lily thinks you and Sirius should work together?" he asked slyly.

I blushed and began to nod. Even the mentioning of his name and I wasn't able to control my thoughts! "I don't know why. After all, it was because of him that I almost cut off my-" oh crap, I hadn't meant to let that slip.

James immediately looked up from his work. "What? You cut your finger off because of him? Now, I know Sirius can be mean with some of his pranks, but he's never made someone cut their finger off."

"It's nothing… I didn't mean to say it… Never mind."

He laughed his deep laugh, "Lore, were you perhaps, distracted by him while holding that knife?"

I bit my lip and felt the blush spreading. "Maybe…"

"Lore! I didn't realize that you liked-"

"Shhh!" I instructed hastily. I lifted a hand to his mouth to keep him from finishing his sentence.

James simply continued laughing and took my hand away from his mouth. "What's the big deal? Almost every other girl in the school has a crush on Sir-"

"Shhh!" I repeated what I had done seconds later.

"Why do you keep shushing me?" James took my hand from his mouth for the second time.

"What if he's around?" I asked in a whisper, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one was listening.

"So what if he is?" he asked.

I bit my lip again and looked back down at my book. "Because the only thing worse than Sirius ridiculing me for liking him would be to be rejected by him," I admitted honestly in a small voice.

James raised his eyebrows. "You really do like him."

I sighed, "Since fourth year."

"So why aren't you taking your own advice? All this help you're giving me about Lily, and overcoming my fear of rejection is a load of crap if you can't practice what you preach," James pointed out. "It's a bit hypocritical, don't you think?"

I faltered. It did seem like the situations were the same. I was James and Sirius was Lily… except that Sirius didn't pretend to hate me. But it definitely wasn't the same thing. Definitely not. Sirius would never go for me, even if I did try to change how I acted around him. He only dated beautiful, confident girls that had a reputation for being slightly easy. I wasn't a fool; I had connected the dots there.

"There's a difference in our situations," I protested.

"Oh really? How is it different?"

"Well first of all, I can't even say his name without blushing. I've lived my life as the shy girl and he's the ladies-man that every girl wants to date. No way he even notices me. With you, you exude confidence and Lily notices you."

James shook his head, "Notices me in a negative way—that doesn't count."

"That's not true," I assured him. "It's not all negative. You should have seen her smile when I asked her if she thought you looked good."

"Aha!" James cried triumphantly. "Aha, you admit it! She does like me back!"

I shushed him again, "Not so loud! I'm her friend too and I don't think I was supposed to tell you. Besides, it's not like she's told me that she likes you—I just suspect she does. So don't tell anyone I told you, ok?" I pleaded in a soft voice.

James nodded solemnly, but the smile didn't falter. "Of course, right. So she's my partner for potions, and it was her idea. This is good. This is good?"

I laughed and nodded, "This is good."

"What's good?"

James and I whirled to find Peter entering the common room, munching happily on something that smelled fruity.

"We just finished our essay," I said quickly, making up a lie. I closed my books and drew my legs up into my chair to look natural.

Peter looked at the both of us and shrugged, obviously accepting this answer. "Oh Lore, I meant to ask you for some help with the life charm. I noticed in class you had it right away and you're always down here, helping Lily and Gretchen when they get stuck. What do you say? Help a friend out?" Peter asked, taking out his wand.

"Remus told us about the run in with Dorinda. I'll teach you a few defense spells in exchange," he enticed.

I looked over at James who was watching me intently to see what I would do. "Of course I can help you. Let me grab my wand."

And just like that I was in.


	17. Girlfriend

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! 20 REVIEWS AAHHHHHHH! BIG THANKS TO RtheAwesome and IO`s Torment! YOU GUYS ROCK! AND THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO HAS FAVORITED AND FOLLOWED MY STORY! I AM SOOOO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST A CHAPTER SOOO IF YOU GUYS COULD GO BACK AND READ CHAPTER 14 Revelations at Breakfast THAT WOULD ROCK! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPPIE!**

* * *

"You're awful close with the Marauders these days," Gretchen noticed the next morning at breakfast.

"Yeah," Lily agreed. "Like last night, you didn't come up to bed until almost 11:00. That's not like you. You were with them, weren't you?"

I nodded, "Well, I was with James at first, we had to write that essay for Potions. Then Peter came in and asked for help with Charms, so I helped him too. It was just for school stuff." I didn't know why, but I for some reason I didn't want to tell Gretchen or Lily about my fight with Dorinda. Maybe it was because I didn't want them to get involved—it was my fight, not theirs. Besides, I was learning how to protect myself so it was OK.

Lily nodded but I could tell she was a little jealous. Of what, I wasn't sure. "I thought they made you nervous."

"They did. But I'm getting to know them and they're a lot nicer than I thought they were," I explained quickly. "They really are nice."

"Especially Sirius?" Lily asked with a sly smile.

"What does that mean?" Gretchen asked eagerly. Damnit. I didn't even really want Lily to know about my crush. I'm not the type that likes to have my private business and feelings out in the open. The more people that know, the more likely it is that it will reach Sirius.

"Lore has a thing for Sirius," Lily announced to Gretchen.

Gretchen turned to me with a smile, but as her eyes fell on something past me her smile dropped. "Lore, I-"

I turned around at the concerned tone in her voice. Entering the Great Hall was James, Remus, Peter and Sirius. Nothing strange about that. Wait, scratch that. It was James, Remus, Peter and Sirius with his hands all over some girl. My heart lodged itself in my throat. Did Sirius have yet another new girlfriend?

"Oh, Lore, I'm so sorry," Lily put her arm around me in a sort of side-hug.

I looked down at my lap. I had seen it a hundred times before. Girlfriend after girlfriend. It didn't hurt less, but it didn't surprise me. "It's OK. It wasn't like we were betrothed or anything," I shrugged.

"But you like him," persisted Gretchen in the same pitying tone.

"And?" I asked rhetorically.

Lily and Gretchen exchanged looks. "And it's got to hur-"

"And nothing. He has a girlfriend and doesn't even look twice at me. Maybe a girlfriend is a good thing—it will help me get over him since he's not available." What a lie. The past girlfriends had done nothing near that, and this time wasn't going to be any different. I just didn't want Lily and Gretchen to pity me. And I was more of a silent sufferer.

"So you're OK?" Gretchen asked.

"It's just a crush. I'm fine guys, I swear." And the lies just keep on coming.

"OK, so for the record, I don't believe you. But I'm going to move on because you told us to drop it," Lily said. She heaped some more eggs on her plate and shot me a glance.

I was grateful. And Lily was true to her word. I didn't hear another word about Sirius until Potions. "Do you still want to be _his_ partner?" she asked.

I didn't really, no. But I really wanted Lily and James to be partners, so I had to act like I still did to keep them together. "Well, it's going to be hard to get Slughorn to change back after that speech yesterday," I reasoned.

Lily grimaced. "You're right. I could still try for you," she offered.

I shook my head. "No it's OK. I'm good."

"Sure?"

I laughed and nudged her. "Yes! I'm fine."

"OK," she said unsurely and took her seat next to James. He gave her a big smile and a polite, 'hello.' When she turned away, he looked over at me and winked.

While I waited for class to start, I thought about a few things. Sirius had been with almost every single other girl in the class. How long was it going to take for him to notice me? Maybe I should be a bit less passive about it. Sirius was never going to notice me if I always shut up around him. Guys liked confidence, right? Confidence. I would try to have confidence.

"What is that about?" Sirius slid into the seat next to me. He was looking over at James and Lily with curiosity. Obviously James hadn't mentioned anything to him about his new and improved quest for Lily's affections.

"Oh… um I'm helping James with Lily."

He turned back to me and fixed that stare on me. "What do you mean?"

"He needed some advice, so I'm helping him," I clarified.

"James needed help with girls? What are you talking about?" Sirius began laughing. "James is one of the best-looking blokes in the school. Second to me, obviously," he added cockily. "He has girls lining up to date him. Why would he need your help?"

Sirius was so condescending, that I just wanted to put him in his place. He needed to know that I wouldn't back down as easily anymore. I reminded that Sirius would never like me if I didn't have any confidence in or never stood up for myself. "Well he doesn't want one of those girls. He wants Lily-" I began.

"Don't I know it?" Sirius interrupted, rolling his eyes. James obviously talked to Sirius about Lily all the time.

"Well, if you know it, then you also know that despite the fact that he's the second best-looking bloke at school, Lily still won't give him the time of day. I'm helping him change that. Look, she's laughing," I pointed.

Sirius studied the scene. "You're right. She's never done that around him before. You did that?" he asked, turning his gaze back on me.

"Well _James_ did it," I insisted. "I just pushed him in the right direction."

Sirius chuckled and I caught myself before I blushed. "That must have been some push. Look, she's laughing again. I wonder why James didn't tell me he'd sought outside help. He usually tells me everything," Sirius wondered idly.

"Maybe he was a little embarrassed that he couldn't handle it himself," I suggested quietly.

"Maybe. What did you tell him anyway?"

I smiled, "If he was too embarrassed to tell you, I probably shouldn't either. I want to respect his privacy," I said, avoiding eye contact.

Sirius laughed again, "I could just ask James, you know."

I laughed too, "That's true."

"I guess it doesn't really matter. All right, looks like you're stuck with me then," Sirius rubbed his hands together as he switched topics.

"What's the potion today?" he looked up at the board and down at the ingredients.

"A potion to purify liquids," I read with a small smile. Sirius and I were having a real conversation. Real! I wasn't blushing or leaving, and he wasn't coming onto me and making me nervous! This new confidence thing sort of seemed like it was working.

"All right then, let's get started. But first thing's first. We have to get one thing straight," Sirius said.

"What?"

"No bleeding."

I burst out laughing. "What?" My laughter had surprised me.

Sirius grinned. "I'm serious! I get a little queasy at the sight of blood, so promise me. No bleeding. Your track record with knives isn't so good. So give me that," he took the knife and began dicing the roots.

I laughed again. "Sirius Black gets queasy at the sight of blood?" I asked incredulously.

"Hey, don't make fun."

"I wasn't," I protested, looking back down with a smile.

"Only a little queasy," Sirius continued, looking dejected. I could tell he was just playing around, but it was so cute. Imagine Sirius Black (the boy whose confidence knew no bounds) sitting there, pouting. I almost laughed again.

"It's all right," I assured him. "I promise not to bleed. But you have to do all the chopping then," I pointed out.

He laughed. "I can do that." He glanced at me sideways and remarked, "You know, you really should smile more."

This time I did blush.


	18. Initiation

In Transfiguration the next day, I went to sit in my usual seat in the front of the room, but Sirius beckoned to me. I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't beckoning to someone behind me. At this, Sirius began chuckling and called, "Lorelei White!"

I blushed slightly as everyone turned to look at me. I walked to him and looked at him questioningly. "Yes?"

He chuckled in response. Tilting his chair back and looking up at me lazily, he pointed to the chair that Remus usually occupied and smiled, "Take a seat. No reason for you to sit alone anymore."  
I didn't need to be told twice. James grinned at me from the other side of Sirius. "'Ello, Lore."

"Hi James," I said with a smile. "Erm… is Remus going to mind that I'm in his seat?" I asked with concern.

"Don't worry about it," Sirius assured me, brushing the hair from my eyes as I tried not to notice how close he had been to actually touching me. My stomach was practically fluttering at the thought.

"Remus won't care," Sirius continued.

"I don't mind at all, hello Lore. Nice to see you're joining us," Remus said kindly as he took the seat to my left.

As McGonagall swept in with a flourish of her robes, she seemed surprised not to find me in my usual seat. Her eyes narrowed when they fell upon me sitting with the Marauders, but she said nothing.

A few minutes into her lecture, which I was finding fascinating, I heard James whisper to Sirius rather loudly, "What's she writing, Padfoot?"

Sirius made a big scene of peering over my shoulder and an even bigger one of sighing and leaning back in his chair, carefully balancing on the two back legs. "She's taking notes, Prongs."

"Notes? What for?" James whispered back.

I smiled as I continued taking notes. This was clearly for my enjoyment. I cast a side glance at Remus and he was smiling too as he avidly took notes. I dipped my quill into my inkwell and tried writing again, but when I put the quill to paper, nothing appeared as I was writing. I tried again, but the ink wasn't making any marks on my page. I turned with a questioning look to Sirius, but he just looked blankly back at me.

Oh don't give me that false-innocent act, Mr. Black. I sighed and looked more closely at the bottle. The label said _Bumble and Isigor's Magical Disappearing Ink_ in faded black lettering. I rolled my eyes and whispered, "Ha ha. Give me back my real ink bottle, please," I added, biting my lip and directing my question at James.

"Real ink bottle? Prongs, what do you figure she means?" Sirius asked, giving me the same blank look as before.

"Dunno, maybe she reckons we swapped her ink for this other one."

"Oh, but my dear, see we promised not to do that anymore, now didn't we, Prongs?" Sirius grinned at me and raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"Right you are, Padfoot. Must have been Peeves that switched 'em," James added with a grin of his own.

"Come on guys-" I began.

"White, Potter, Black, pay attention," McGonagall said sternly.

I snapped to attention immediately, blushing in embarrassment. She'd never had to say that to me before. "Sorry Professor," I mumbled as I felt my face turning bright red. I turned back to my page, only to still see it blank from the disappearing ink.

"Here Lore, you can share with me," offered Remus.

"Thanks," I whispered back with a final look at James and Sirius who were laughing silently in their tilted back chairs. Pricks.

"I thought we agreed no more pranks," I said to James and Sirius on our way out of class.

"And I thought we determined it was Peeves," returned James with a charming smile. "We'd never prank _you_ Lore."

"'Course not," Sirius agreed, throwing an arm around my shoulder.  
I shrank at the touch. It made me want to laugh and sob at the same time. It was an entirely friendly move, but Sirius had such an effect on me no matter what he did. It was starting to scare me. "Right," I mumbled sarcastically, more to myself.

Sirius laughed, having been the only one close enough to hear it, and shook the silky black hair from his eyes as only he could. "Right," he repeated. "Race you to Charms, Prongs," he challenged, removing his arm from my shoulders.

"You're on."

They sped off into the distance, leaving me and Remus to walk to our next classes at our own pace. "They didn't mean anything by it," Remus began randomly.

It took me a second to connect what he was saying with what he meant. "Oh, the ink thing?"

"Yeah. They didn't mean it to be mean," Remus continued with the same kind smile and reassuring air.

"It was rather inconvenient for taking notes for the rest of class, especially because they didn't give it back," I noted.

"They're only initiating you."

"Initiating me?" Whatever did Remus mean?

"Yeah, you're practically one of us now. They only do that sort of thing to Peter and me. And now, apparently, you. It's not pranking, per say, it's more like playful teasing."

I was still hung up on what he had said before. I was one of them? It seemed like an impossibility. One of the famous- rather infamous- Marauders? Me? Shy little Lorelei White? Pfssht, yeah right. "I don't know-" I began doubtfully.

Remus was firm. "No, it's true. Yesterday James charmed my History of Magic book to look like a different book so I was looking for it for ages."

"Remus, that doesn't seem like you're part of their joke. It seems like you're at the expense of it," I argued. I was a little mad they treated sweet Remus like that. Remus would never hurt a fly—he was such a gentle soul. "I mean, you wasted time looking."

"It was just a little harmless joke. That sort of thing, as twisted as it may seem, means that they trust you."

James and Sirius trusted me? Well, I knew James trusted me—after all, he had trusted me with his real feelings for Lily and he was trusting me enough to ask for my advice. But did Sirius really trust me? In the time we'd known each other, I didn't know if I'd given him specific reason to trust me.

"Don't take offense, Lore. They're really good guys and they honestly didn't mean any harm," Remus concluded as we parted ways. "It means they like you."

_It means they like you,_ was what stuck in my mind. Well, rather, it meant Sirius liked me. This was definitely a step in the ultimately right direction! Even if we were only destined to be friends, as his long list of female conquests seemed to dictate, the first step was him liking and trusting me. Even if it did mean I was going to be subject to this playful joking around. Some contact was better than none, right?

So absorbed in thought, I didn't hear the steps behind me and I didn't sense the person looming overhead. When I finally noticed I wasn't alone, it was because a foot appeared from nowhere and tripped me. I almost fell headfirst into a suit of armor, but managed to catch myself before that happened.

"Told you we'd meet again," the cold voice of Dorinda echoed down the empty hallway. I cringed and hesitated to turn around, but remembered my lesson from our last encounter—never turn your back.

I turned and faced her. My hand was in the pocket of my robes where I had stored my wand. In my head, the self-protection spells Remus and Peter had taught me were repeating like a skipping record. My hand shook nervously. I wouldn't hesitate to protect myself this time, but words were always the better way to try and solve things first.

"Please, Dorinda, I don't want any trouble," I said as calmly as I could manage.

"I'm sure you don't," she scoffed and drew her wand. "But you should have thought of that before."

"Before what?" I persisted. "Dorinda, I didn't do anything to you. And if I did, I assure you it wasn't my intention and I'm sorry," my voice shook as I looked between her face and the tip of her wand. I didn't want to be cursed!

"Shut up, _Gryffindor_," she spat, as if it were a distasteful word. "_Furnuncul_-"

"Expeliarmus!" I shouted before she could finish the boil-inducing curse, furnunculus. Her wand flew from her hand and landed two feet behind me. She snarled at me.

Just then Sirius appeared from around the corner and bent over to pick up the wand. "Problem here, Lore?" he asked me, not taking his eyes off Dorinda's face, which was now twisted with rage.

I looked at Dorinda, but shook my head at Sirius. "No."

"Give me my wand," Dorinda ordered, holding out her hand.

Sirius looked at the wand he was holding and began twirling it between his fingers. "Hmm… no. I don't think I will," he stated casually.

Dorinda began to say something, but Sirius interrupted her with, "Or would you rather I go let Dumbledore know you were trying to curse someone in the hallway?"

Dorinda closed her mouth, but shot me a look of pure venom as she turned on her heel abruptly and walked the opposite direction. "Give her the wand, Sirius," I said as we both watched her stomp down the hallway.

"Oi, catch!" Sirius called, hurling the wand down the hallway after her, hitting her square in the back. She made a low 'oof' noise, turned, bent over and picked it up. With one final look at me, she left.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius asked when she was gone. He looked down at me concerned. He held my shoulders firmly and seemed to be checking my face for boils.

"Dunno, she's got it out for me I think," I muttered.

"I heard you trying to tell her you hadn't done anything to her. Lore, she's a mean Slytherin. You can't argue with them."

I shook my head sadly as I picked up the book bag I had temporarily forgotten in the midst of my showdown. "That's the attitude she had. When I said that, her only retort was that I was a Gryffindor. I wish the two houses didn't hate each other so much," I said wistfully. "It would cause a lot less hallway cursings, I reckon."

"You're probably right," Sirius said with a bark of a laugh. "Anyway, off to class? Boy you're lucky I came along when I did," he said with a wink, falling in step beside me as he obviously intended on walking me to my next class, though it was nowhere near where he had to be.

"My hero," I whispered sarcastically, face turning red as I looked away when I realized he had heard me. He had amazing hearing!


	19. Falling for Him?

**A/N- OMG you guys! I totally left out this super important chapter by accident! I'm so scatter brained! Will everyone do me a favor? Please re-read the story from this chapter on- I swear everything will make waaaay more sense. SO SORRY!**

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A few days later in potions, Sirius and I watched with baited breath as Lily helped James finely slice something by placing her hand on top of his. Lily was willingly touching James? "Ok seriously, it's confession time, Lore. What did you say to him? What'd you tell him to do? Lily's never touched him willingly." Sirius whispered to me as Slughorn passed us on his inspection. Sirius's warm breath was feather light against my ear and I swear to God I almost fainted.

"I… um… I just told him to back off. Lily thought he was making fun of her when he kept asking her to go out with him and stuff. I told him to earn her trust first. Girls like Lily won't go out with someone they don't trust."

"And how is he supposed to earn her trust?" Sirius asked curiously, his eyes never wavering from my face.

"By making her feel comfortable around him," I explained. "Being friends first is usually the best way to do that."

Sirius nodded to indicate that he understood. A few minutes passed before he spoke up again. "So what would you say if _I_ asked you for advice?" he asked casually.

I laughed and added some thyme into the cauldron. "I'd ask what kind of advice it is," I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

He smiled, his eyes twinkling. Oh Christ, he was so cute. "I want some girl advice. Now before you laugh at me, know that the only reason I'm asking is because you seem to be such a bloody genius about this sort of thing. I mean, what with James and Lily and all. Peter even said you encouraged him to ask out Natalie Thomson-"

"That's because they're perfect for each other," I interrupted. This was good! Maybe Sirius was responding to my new confident attitude.

"Well, either way… I need your help with this girl."

My breath suddenly caught and I had trouble swallowing. Up until now, I would have been happy to give him advice on anything, but I didn't know if I would be able to stomach giving him advice to get another girl. How could I help him get another girl? And since when did Sirius Black need help getting a girl?

And just like that, all my hopes died. I sighed. I knew had to help him now because the cold reality of this was that he was never going to notice me. Never. And I had to get over it. "Um… what about your girlfriend?" I asked, thinking of that girl I had seen him with in the great hall a few days before.

"Over."

"Oh… uh… what kind of help did you need?" I asked, just a bit broken-hearted that he was after yet another girl. OK, a lot broken-hearted.

"All right, so there's this girl-"

"Never would have guessed," I cut in with a laugh. Making jokes made it seem less real somehow.

Sirius let out another bark of a laugh. "Anyway… She's not the type of girl I usually go for, so I'm not sure what to do with her. Nothing I've done so far is really working. She doesn't respond to flirting and she doesn't seem to like my boyish charm," Sirius flashed me a grin.

"Oh for the love of God, you're not in love with Lily Evans too, are you?" I asked, horrified. This was almost the same thing that James had said to me in pursuit of my help.

Sirius laughed. "No! Oh no! Not Lily. She's… different."

"Different in what kind of way?" I was intrigued despite myself.

"She's sweet. Innocent even. That's my problem right there—sweet and innocent isn't usually my type. I've never had to try for a girl. It always just… happens if I want it to." His grey eyes twinkled at me as he watched me carefully for my reaction.

"Imagine a girl not responding to that kind of attitude," I said sarcastically with a small laugh. My heartbeat quickened. Maybe he was talking about me. I was kind of innocent, and people told me I was sweet. But that didn't make sense, why would he be asking me for help to get myself? Sirius was never that indirect—no, if he liked me, he would have just told me.

He nudged me with his elbow. "I'm serious, Lore. She just doesn't seem to like me and I want to change it. Teach me, oh Goddess of Love," Sirius dropped to one knee dramatically and took my hand in both of his.

I smiled with a slight blush. Ok, so he wasn't talking about me. There wasn't a person who didn't know that I liked Sirius. "So, um… She's not into you? And she's sweet? Well, I guess my best advice is that she probably wants to be wooed. You can't go wrong with a romantic gesture… But my advice to James applies to you too. Move slowly and don't crowd her. If you don't have her trust first, if you aren't her friend first, she'll just think it's a joke. Us girls don't particularly like to be made fun of."

Sirius nodded, "What's a good way to make a girl like that feel comfortable?"

"Um… when you're talking to her, stick to neutral topics… Ask her questions too. Most girls like talking about themselves, even if they won't admit it," I said with a sardonic laugh.

Sirius laughed too, rising. "Thank you, Aphrodite." He reached over and tucked a stray lock of my hair behind my left ear. "You know, Goddess of Love?" he smiled again, revealing a dimple.

I tried to act like it didn't affect me. "I know. But she was Goddess of Beauty too though-"

"I know that," he winked at me and continued his work.

Ok, it was making it really hard to get over him when he flirted like that. He was just complimenting me because he was grateful for my help. He was just flirting because that was what Sirius Black did.

After potions, Sirius walked me to the Great Hall where he literally forced Peter and Remus to move down the table so we could sit with them. Lily and James were nowhere to be seen, but Gretchen was already there.

"Hello Gretchen, M'dear. The boys and I are going to sit here. Mind?" he asked her sweetly.

Gretchen shook her head to indicate that she didn't mind and shot me a look. I shrugged and shifted in the seat across from her.

"All right then," Sirius grinned at her.

I almost choked on my sandwich. It couldn't be… Sirius couldn't like Gretchen, could he? I mean Gretchen sure fit his description because she didn't seem to like him that much. Gretchen could be very sweet too.

"So how was your class?" he asked her.

She shrugged and moved the food on her plate with her fork. "Same old. Binn is never going to stop teaching here, I swear."

Sirius laughed and my heart sank. He was taking my advice and trying to win Gretchen's trust. He was asking questions. "No arguments here," he said to her. "But everything else was good? Potions was a bore."

Gretchen looked at him suspiciously but nodded. "Oh, Lore, I forgot to tell you. Lily was looking for you. She said she needs to talk to you. I think about potions."

"Oh, all right then." I got up. I didn't even say good-bye because, after all, they wouldn't miss me. So Sirius liked Gretchen. And now he was going to try to win her over with my advice. Gods, why did I have to be so helpful?!

When I got to the common room, I found Lily sitting alone with her books untouched on the coffee table in front of her. She looked like she was deep in thought, and I hated to disturb her, but Gretchen had said she wanted to talk to me. From the looks of her, I didn't think it was about Potions.

"Lily?"

Snapped out of her trance, she looked over at me and offered a half-smile. "Hi Lore."

"Gretchen said you wanted to talk to me. What's wrong?"

After several seconds of avoiding eye contact and playing with her fingernails, Lily finally spoke up. "Lore, I have a problem."

I frowned, concerned. "What?" I was envisioning horrible things, like a death in the family or a failing grade.

She pulled me down onto the couch to sit next to her. She leaned in close after inspecting the room to make sure no one was listening. "I think I like James," she whispered, so low I had to turn my head and come even closer.

Oh, that was the problem? Well, I already knew that… she didn't know that I knew though. "You do?" I tried to keep my voice neutral and pleasantly surprised. I didn't want her to think that I disapproved.  
She leaned back and groaned. "Yes. I don't know how it happened. One day I was hating him, and the next I just… wasn't. It's awful, Lore."

I laughed. "Why is it awful?"

"Because I can't do anything about it now! I made such a big deal about hating him. If I admit I like him, everyone will think I'm just a big hypocrite."

Yeah, that was kind of the problem I had foreseen with it. "I see what you mean."

"What do I do, Lore?"

Why was everyone asking me? Obviously someone had made me out to be some sort of love guru. It wasn't true! I'd never even had a boyfriend. "I don't know, Lily. Are you positive you like him?"

"I think so… I mean, yes."

"Well then, it shouldn't matter what other people think, just what James thinks, right?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I know it shouldn't matter, but it does. These people are my friends, and we have to deal with them every day here. I care what they think about me."

"Well then maybe you just shouldn't immediately start liking him," I began slowly, working out the plan in my head.

"Come again?" Lily looked at me strangely.

"Make it seem like a gradual process. I mean, make everyone else think that you going from hating him to liking him is a gradual process. Even though you know how you feel now, make it look like you arrived at those feelings after a long time of hanging out together. Let everyone know that you've become friends. No one will think you're a hypocrite if you become his friend first and then start liking him."

"So lie to everyone else?"

I grimaced. It sounded so bad when she put it simply. "I guess. I mean, obviously I don't think that lying is necessarily always the best thing, but…"

Lily leaned back and thought it over. "No, I like it. Yeah, no one can say anything if we're friends first. Of course, we probably shouldn't be 'friends' for another month or so. It needs to look like he's winning me over bit by bit."

"It's all so manipulative," I giggled.

"Yeah, but it's better than me looking like a complete arse," Lily laughed.

I laughed, "True."

"Thanks Lore, it makes me feel so relieved to have told someone. And now that we have a plan, I feel even better."

"I have a question. Why didn't you tell Gretchen? You're closer to her, aren't you?"

"Gretch is a great friend, but she's more… I don't know… she's more judgmental than you are. Plus, you're such a great listener and you always know what to say."

I blushed again. That was what Sirius had said to me before.

"Thanks," I said and gave her a big smile. "So what class have you got next?"


	20. Of Tugboats and Chocolate

Potions became Sirius and my daily time together. I found myself looking forward to it every day as a time to unwind and be myself without any pressure. A complete turn-around, I know! Obviously, I still liked Sirius a lot, but he seemed different. He was more subdued, and made me feel comfortable. I guess the sobering knowledge that he really wasn't interested in me made me able to speak my mind.

I never asked him about who he was interested in, but since I knew it was Gretchen, and I was pretty sure that he knew that I knew it was Gretchen, I didn't need to ask anyway.

"So how are things working out with you and the girl?" I asked Sirius, not really wanting to know the answer. I hadn't seen Sirius and Gretchen together in a few days.

"I'll keep you posted when something happens," he assured me with a wink.

"Oh, so you've got it under control now?" I asked sarcastically, teasing him. "But wasn't it you that needed my help not too long ago?"

"Well, see I did need your help, but now I don't. I've got it now. You were more like that little muggle boat that gets bigger boats started," Sirius said as he concentrated on our potion that was completely the wrong consistency.

"Tugboats?" I began laughing.

"Yeah, tugboats!" Sirius grinned.

"So I'm like a tugboat?" I asked incredulously, still laughing.

Sirius nodded solemnly. I could tell it was an effort to stay serious and not laugh too. "You're my little tugboat. You got me started, but now I can handle myself."

"All right then."

"So how are Lily and James progressing?" he switched topics.

"Sorry, there's a confidentiality clause. I'm not allowed to discuss cases with other patients," I joked.

"But I'm family! James is like a brother."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I laughed again.

"You're supposed to tell family. You have to tell me now."

"No I don't. You said you're like his brother, not his actual brother. I don't have to tell you anything," I persisted, an amused smile on my lips.

"You know, you really cut me deep with these snide comments. You could really hurt a bloke's confidence."

I rolled my eyes. Confidence? That was certainly one thing that Sirius Black would never lack. "You've got confidence coming out the wazoo."

There was a pregnant pause in which Sirius digested that remark. "Wait, confidence coming out the 'wazoo'?" he chuckled. "Where, exactly, is my 'wazoo'?"

I just laughed, at a loss for words. Suddenly, I was hit on the arm with a drop of the potion I had been neglecting to stir. "Shoot," I muttered, and began stirring. Unfortunately, because I had allowed it to boil, the potion continued to spit drops everywhere. I stirred it quickly to fix that, but that only made it slosh over the edges.

"Stir it slower!"

"I am!" I insisted, covering myself from what was flying at me.

"Here, let me help you." Sirius got behind me and covered my hand with his and helped me stir it so that it didn't fly out of the cauldron.  
As the potion stopped spitting at me, I realized how close to Sirius I was. I also realized I hadn't blushed once in his presence. Even when he was teasing me. Strangely, even the proximity to Sirius now wasn't making me blush. Maybe it was because I knew I had no chance. Not with his new crush and all… It was like it almost took the pressure off. Or maybe it was just that I was more comfortable with him. Maybe I was more comfortable with myself. Woah, revelations.

"We're pretty much the worst potions makers ever," Sirius said when we were both staring at what remained of the burned potion in the cauldron.

As Slughorn made his rounds, he took one look at our cauldron, sighed, looked between the two of us disappointedly, and gave us more ingredients to start over. I looked at my watch. We were going to be in there for hours. Since class was nearly over and people were turning their potions in, we were going to be there for hours alone.

My stomach flip-flopped as Sirius shot me an agitated look and we began remaking the potion. I bit my lip and concentrated on my work. Sirius had to be the most distracting boy on the planet.  
Sirius and I nearly missed dinner. We literally had to run to avoid arriving after all the food disappeared. I caught Lily and Gretchen as they were leaving the Great Hall. Lily looked from Sirius to me and began laughing. "See you in the common room later, Lore. We should talk."

I had no doubt of that. Especially because after she said that, she ran to catch up with James and walk with him back to the common room. She looked over her shoulder at me and grinned. I smiled knowingly in response.

"So I take it things are going well with Lily and James then," Sirius remarked as he sat and hurriedly heaped enormous amounts of everything in front of him onto his plate.

"They don't run out of food, you know," I said as I sat across from him. "Hi Peter," I added. He was still eating and Sirius had selected a seat on the other side of the table from him.

"Hi Lore. Padfoot," he nodded at Sirius.

"I know they don't run out of food, thank you very much," Sirius said sarcastically. He shot Peter a look, "Wormtail. Did you get out of class late or something? Are you always here this late?"

"Nah, I got detention earlier for bumping into a first year. Accidentally, of course," he added, looking at me, "but the teacher who saw it thought it was on purpose."

"Didn't you explain that it was an accident?" I asked, suspicious that the teacher had been right.

"You can't argue with Filch. It's just impossible."

"That's true," Sirius ascertained.

"Well, I'll take your word for it, because I've never had to try to argue with him," I said in passing, placing some food onto my own plate.

"What about you two then?" Peter looked between Sirius and me almost suspiciously. "Studying?"

"We completely botched our potion today so we had to redo it," Sirius supplied hurriedly. He cleared his throat and began shoveling food into his mouth again. He focused completely on his food, so entirely that I shot a look at Peter. He shrugged at me and took to his food in the same way Sirius had.

I was left to my thoughts for the remainder of the meal and on the way upstairs to the dorm, after I left dinner early. As I left, I could have sworn I heard the telltale sounds of a kick and Peter murmuring, "Oi."

When I entered the common room, Lily and James were working together. It made me do a double-take as I passed. It was potions work, so they obviously had to do it together, but it struck me as funny that it was furthering my plan with both Lily and James separately. They were so cute, especially how they had both come to me individually for help in attaining the other.

But it was mostly cute because I knew how it was going to end up. They both liked each other, now it was up to them to figure it out that the other person did too. And hopefully they could both do it without my help from then on. I was getting kind of tired of having to do everything for them. And not being able to tell James about my plans with Lily, and vice versa, was starting to wreak havoc on my conscience.

"Hey Lore," Lily greeted me, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Hi Lily, hi James," I said.

"Too bad about your potion today, Lore," James said with the faintest smirk.

"Yes too bad," echoed Lily with a laugh.

What was going on? Why did everyone seem to think that I had done something on purpose to mess up the potion?

"Anyway, time for a study break. Look what I have," James announced. He leaned down and rummaged around in his pack for a bit. When he came up, he was holding a box of Honeydukes' Finest Chocolates. Lily gasped audibly. I raised an eyebrow at James and mouthed, "nice."

James had definitely found the way to Lily's heart.


	21. Confessions

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"So you must be quite proud of yourself, eh?" Sirius whispered to me from across the table in the library. I had been watching James and Lily laughing and collaborating at their table a few feet from my and Sirius' table.

"Hmm?" I turned back to him.

"You must be proud of yourself. After all, you turned out to be quite the match-maker, didn't you?"

I smiled and shrugged, looking down at my paper. "I just wanted them to be happy. After I realized that what would make them both happy was being with each other, it wasn't a hard call to make. It was only a matter of time, anyway."

Sirius looked at me strangely. "You care a lot about them, don't you?"

"Lily is…" I searched for the right words. "Lily was the first person to really give me a chance. I know that I can be sort of off putting when you first meet me. Lily was so patient, putting up with me when I wasn't sure how to handle friends. And James seems to get me," I shrugged. "I know it sounds kind of stupid, but James and I understand each other."

"James makes a good friend," Sirius agreed, looking over at him and Lily. "And so do you, from what I can tell."

"Me? What about you?" I turned the focus back on him. "You're so selfless when it comes to your friends."

"I'd die for them," he said without hesitation.

"My point exactly. It's so admirable. Everyone should have a friend like you," I smiled and picked my quill back up to finish my essay. I meant every word of it. I had admired Sirius from the beginning for his courage and loyalty to his friends above all else. Once in fourth year, he had taken detention for a month for a prank he hadn't pulled rather than rat out Peter. It was so honorable.

"Those are some high compliments, especially coming from you," Sirius hadn't stopped looking at me, even when I had concentrated back on my work.

I looked up in surprise. "Why?"

"Well, I don't think I've really been that nice to you, you wouldn't really have any reason to think so highly of me."

"What are you talking about? You've been so nice for the past couple of weeks-"

"My point exactly. For a few weeks maybe I've been nice, but before that I was kind of an arse. I wanted to say I'm sorry, Lore."

Well, this was surprising. "Oh, don't worry about it," I waved his apology.

"No, I'm serious. I don't know why I do that. I guess it's just a defense mechanism," he rubbed the back of his neck.

I put my quill down. Was Sirius about to open up to me? "A defense mechanism against what?" I asked kindly. This was big! He'd never been so vulnerable in front of me before.

He heaved a big sigh. "I don't know if you've heard or not… from James maybe. My home life really is- wasn't so great. My parents were kind of awful. I ran away this summer and I've been staying with the Potters."

"I'm sorry about that—your home life, I mean. Sounds like it was hard," I said, finding his hand with mine. I wanted to let him know I was really listening.

He looked down at my hand like it was something alien, but a smile spread across his face. "Thanks, Lore. It's fine now, obviously. I do miss Regulus sometimes though. But then I see him in the hallways here and I don't feel the same," he smiled ruefully. I withdrew my hand to focus on what he was saying. "Regulus," he added in explanation, "tends to side with my parents when it comes to the issues we… disagreed on."

"Like what?" I prompted gently. I didn't want him to think I was pushing.

"My parents were big blood-purists. They didn't appreciate my friendships with 'mudbloods'," at this, Sirius made a face. "I hate that word. Anyway, we had the biggest fight we've ever had and they ordered me to stop being friends with James and Remus and told me they had arranged a marriage for me to a girl I've never met who's practically my cousin!" Sirius was obviously upset about the memory.

"Shh!" urged a Ravenclaw from a nearby table.

Sirius made an apologetic gesture and turned back to me with a shrug. "It was just the final straw so you left?" I guessed.

Sirius nodded. "How screwed up is my family? What is this whole blood-purity thing, anyway?"

I shrugged. Though I was a pureblood, my immediate family hadn't ever done it purposefully—we just happened to fall in love with magical folk. There were people in my family who believed strongly in blood purity, however, and to them we were traitors. "It's not like blood purity makes you a better witch or wizard," I voiced my opinion about it all.

"Exactly. It's just elitist nonsense."

I nodded. "I am sorry though, that you didn't get along with your parents."

Sirius snorted, "I don't really care at this point. We never had the best relationship, unlike you. You and your family seem to get along so well, at least what I remember of Farrah and you from last year, you seemed pretty close."

It was only fair since he had opened up that I did too, right? "Well… we're close but I guess I've always kind of been a bit jealous of her."  
"Jealous of her?"

"Farrah's the impressive one. She's smart and brave and beautiful. I've always felt so terribly average in comparison."

Sirius' eyes twinkled, "Average?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, up until this year, I've been the ugly, shy, spinster sister to Farrah's shining star. It's been kind of hard," I admitted with a sigh. I had never said that to anyone else.

"So that's why you changed over the summer? She's finally gone so you can finally feel like your own person?" Sirius prompted.

I nodded. "Wow, you're pretty insightful yourself," I smiled.

He chuckled. "Of course I am. But I don't understand why you're comparing yourself to Farrah. You're both so different that I can't really even put you in the same category for comparison. You were shyer, but underneath the insecurities that apparently stem from Farrah, you're really great. It's not that Farrah wasn't great too, she was just a bit more… superficial. She cared about how everyone else felt about her; you care about how everyone else feels about themselves and each other. You're a different kind of person."

"Oh, I don't know…" I wasn't so sure I deserved this praise.

"I do. Farrah may have been the more out-going sister, but if anyone overlooks you, they're really missing out," he grinned and winked at me.

I was floored, really. Where had this side of Sirius come from? It wasn't one that he showed many people, that was for sure. If I wasn't careful, I was never going to get over him. "So where were we in this essay?" I switched topics to avoid having to keep talking about myself. It was easier when Sirius wasn't being so sweet and complimenting me. Why couldn't I just want to be his friend?

"I think we were telling Slughorn to bugger off for making us write an entire foot about how our potion went wrong," Sirius muttered.

I laughed, "Well, not quite… But do you think he'd be very upset if we did actually write that?" I joked.

"Not too mad…" Sirius ventured.

"Well I don't know if I'm willing to take that risk. Here, we can divide it. You write about how we didn't add enough liquid and neglected to stir it. I'll write about letting it sit over the heat too long and mincing the crickets instead of dicing them."

We got to work and were quite efficient for the next few minutes… well, I was efficient. Sirius divided his time between checking to see what I was writing and making ink blobs on his paper.

"So, out of curiosity, what prompted the apology a little while ago? I mean, why suddenly so sorry about being an arse before?" I asked when I was finished with my section.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno," he reached over and doodled a little heart in the margin of my paper.

"I'm serious-" I began, smiling down at his doodle.

"No, _I'm_ Sirius," he joked with a laugh. "That one never gets old," he said with a wink.

"All right, I'm not kidding. What prompted the change?" I asked.

"To be honest, you've really gotten to me. No one's ever been so upfront with me, other than James. I guess I kind of needed someone to kick me. You just helped me see that being immature wasn't getting me anywhere."

I waved that off. "Oh please," I scoffed.

Sirius laughed too, but it didn't sound like a real laugh. "Yeah, you're right. That's crazy," he said. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, though.

Did Sirius really think that I had changed him? Because surely it wasn't because of me that he had matured so much! Maturity happens to boys at some time. It was just Sirius' time.

~

Sirius was confused. Sirius wasn't usually confused, but he was now. He was confused about, of all things, a girl. That was even stranger because Sirius knew girls better than the back of his hand. Girls were simple to him—he always knew where he stood with girls.

But, he thought as he sat, contemplating the fire in the common room (his favorite spot to think), he didn't know where he stood with Lore. These feelings he seemed to have developed were foreign. He cared about what she thought of him. He didn't want to just snog Lore for the fun of it, he _cared_ about her.

Sirius frowned—he wasn't entirely sure he like this. Everything was so much easier when he didn't care. Sirius always prided himself on his ability to stay unattached, but Lore was making him care all of the sudden and that was a danger.

Sure it had started out with her like it had for all the other girls. He found himself with an itch he needed to scratch, and he wanted Lore. But when she didn't respond to his usual ways or his flirting, he had started trying a bit harder and changing his approach. He had even asked her for bloody advice on how to ask her out (without her knowing that he was talking about her). But then he realized that working for her wasn't something that he minded, which was also strange because he _always_ minded work. He had begun to think she was worth the work.

And then he started noticing things about her and finding all her little mannerisms cute. And just now, he had told her things he hadn't told anyone other than his best mates. What had gotten into him? Next he was going to be telling her about being an unregistered animagus and Remus being a werewolf! She was just so easy to talk to and non-judgmental.

He felt like a real idiot for saying all those things to her—even if they were true. Gah! He was tired of _feeling_ things. He wanted to do something about it! But he also didn't want to frighten her off because he felt like they really had a chance. Maybe he should just talk to her. Although, talking never really had been his style…


	22. Flirting Lessons

"Is there some reason you haven't got a bloke?" Sirius asked randomly one day while we were mixing the ingredients in an extremely delicate potion.

I started, almost knocking the potion over. "W-what?" I asked uneasily, still stirring. I tried to pay attention.

"Why haven't you got a bloke? I mean, you are really nice and… I mean, you're pretty and all. Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I blushed that time, even though I was getting so good at not blushing around Sirius. He thought I was pretty! "Oh… erm… I guess I just don't think about it. I mean it's not that I don't want a boyfriend, I'm just not actively looking. If someone were to come around and ask me out, I wouldn't turn them down."

"Oh," he looked thoughtful.

"Why do you ask?" I asked in a small voice.

"Just wondering why the love guru isn't using her magic on herself," he tweaked my nose and concentrated on our potion again.

I was a little disappointed, even thought I knew he hadn't been asking because, say, _he_ was interested or anything. "Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?" I asked, trying to make him talk about his mysterious girl (who wasn't so mysterious).

"I'm working on it," Sirius said, pretending to be defensive about it.

"Really? Are you loosing your touch? Normally by now she'd already have been with you for a month at least. Things not going very smoothly?"

"Oh, you'll know when things change. You'll know when I finally do ask her out."

I fought back the urge to roll my eyes. I was sure Gretchen would be talking about it for days—weeks even. She was as much in love with him as every other girl was. "I'm sure I will," I agreed and we didn't talk for the rest of class.

In the library after classes, I felt eyes upon me. I looked up, I didn't see anyone watching me. I frowned and turned back to my work. But there it was again. I wasn't even one of those people that could usually tell when someone was watching them.

I looked up again and around me. This time I looked right into the eyes of a Ravenclaw boy at the next table over. He had light brown hair and pretty hazel eyes. Overall, he was very attractive, but why was he looking at me? He flashed me a confident smile and I was confused. Was he smiling at me? Did I even know him? I smiled back a little and went back to my essay.

The next thing I knew, a dark shadow was looming over my table. I looked right up into the hazel eyes of the boy. "Hi. It's Lorelei, right?" he asked.

"Yes…" I didn't know his name. I couldn't recall ever having seen him before, now that I was closer to him.

"I'm Henry," he offered his hand as he took the seat next to me. He set his bag of books in front of him. He obviously intended on staying at my table. "Couldn't help but notice you sitting here. Do you always study alone?"

"I'm not studying," I said. After I said it, I winced—it sounded so dumb. "What I meant was I'm writing an essay for charms."

"Sounds boring," Henry flashed his smile again and turned the paper so he could see it. "Looks boring too."

I laughed a little. Henry was sort of funny. "And you're not even the one writing it. It is pretty boring. I mean, I'm not falling asleep or anything, but I don't think the 'sewing charm' is supposed to be terribly fascinating."

"Good point."

It was my turn to talk, I assumed, but I didn't really have anything to say. Everything I thought of sounded trite. "So… you're a sixth year?" See? Trite.

"Seventh," he corrected gently.

So what was he doing sitting there talking to me? "Oh. Any plans for after school?"

He laughed, but I wasn't sure what was funny about what I said. "You don't really care, do you?" It wasn't an accusation, it was more of a rhetorical question.

I gave in and laughed too. "Not really, I guess." His frankness was kind of refreshing. Just like that, we were past the awkward polite-phase of meeting people.

"Well I just wanted to come over here and introduce myself. I was going to make up some bogus story about asking for your help or something to have an excuse to talk to you."

"To have an excuse to talk to me?" I was confused again.

He laughed. "Yeah. Lame, right? Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. Henry, don't forget it," he winked and got up. I watched him leave in slight awe. Had he just been flirting with me? Had I been flirting back? Poorly, if it could even be called flirting. I was apparently rotten at flirting.

Who was that?" Lily had come to the table and sat across from me as I watched Henry's fleeting form.

"Uh… Henry. He didn't say his last name, but he's a Seventh year Ravenclaw." I could feel myself blush. I was still caught in the aftermath of the unexpected flirting. It was kind of nice to know that someone actually did notice me. Even though Sirius didn't seem to.

Lily's eyes lit up. "Do you like him?"

"I just met him," I shrugged.

"But you guys were laughing-"

"About how boring something was. Oh God Lily, I acted like an idiot. I don't know how to flirt!"

"What are you talking about? Of course you know how to flirt," Lily dismissed it.

"No, I really, really don't. I just sat there and laughed and let him talk. I was braindead!" I was kind of disgusted with myself. I thought I had more brains than that.

Lily looked pensive. "Well, I guess it kind of is one of those things where practice makes perfect."

"I've never practiced before. Up until this year I was completely invisible. I'm hopeless!" I moaned miserably, resting my head on my arms on the table.

"You're not hopeless, you just need to learn how. And who better to teach you than myself? I'm practically a flirting God." I looked up at her questioningly and we both broke into laughter. "All right, so maybe that's a little too strong, but I'm good at it."

That was for sure. Lily had boys swooning over her. I wanted her to make me like that. I wanted her to teach me how to make boys (Sirius) swoon over me. "What do I do?" I asked. I poised my pen above my paper.

"Are you going to take notes?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Yes…" I began, blushing a little out of embarrassment. "How else am I supposed to remember?"

Lily laughed, but shrugged it off. "All right. The trick with boys is to keep them on their toes. Especially at first. Be suggestive, but don't be obvious. Make him laugh, but let him make you laugh too. Be smart, but don't know more than him-"

"This sounds hard—why can't I just be me?" I asked.

"You wanted my help. This is how you get a guy's attention," she shrugged. "It's always worked for me.

I was skeptical. Lily was the flirting master, but it still struck me as odd to want to pretend to be someone else to make a boy like you. How would you know that the boy didn't like the fabricated you? Maybe I would just stick to being me.


	23. Winners

Saturdays seemed a rare commodity. The day of the week where I actually found time for myself. Sundays were work days, and every other day involved actually going to class, so Saturday was usually the day I took for myself. Lily and Gretchen, it seemed, had other plans.

"Lore!" called Gretchen in the direction opposite of where I was.

I set my bookmark under the line I had been reading to keep my place and looked up. "Yes?" I asked.

She turned, confused, and laughed when she saw me sitting on my bed, slightly hidden by the curtains. "Oh, didn't see you there. You coming with Lily and me to the Quidditch match?" she asked, wrapping a maroon scarf around her neck.

"I hadn't planned on it," I replied honestly.

"Aw, Lore you have to! It's against Hufflepuff! I really think Gryffindor's going to beat them this year."

"I second that," added Lily as she entered the dorm room wearing an identical maroon scarf. Was I the only Gryffindor who didn't own one?

"Thanks guys, but-"

"Oh no, not this weekend. Every Saturday you sit there for hours reading and keeping to yourself. This weekend you're coming out with us and watching the Gryffindors beat the Hufflepuffs. I even brought you something maroon," Lily added with a wink, throwing me a cozy-looking jumper.

How could I argue with that kind of logic? I smiled at the thought that they wanted to include me so badly, Lily had preempted my evasive maneuvers. I yanked the sweater over my shirt and stood to model. "How do I look?"

"It would suit you better with something other than pajama pants, I think," giggled Gretchen. She tossed me a pair of jeans from my trunk and I quickly changed.

"Good, let's go then—wouldn't want to miss the beginning."

We raced down to the Quidditch pitch, and I was infinitely grateful for the sweater as I hugged it tighter around myself. It had become very cold, and it seemed just about to snow. Well, that did make sense because it was already December, which reminded me that I hadn't heard from my parents in a while. Usually they checked in at about this time, reminding me about plans for Christmas break.

As we climbed up to the stadium, the wind picked up a bit and I suddenly wished I had dressed even more warmly than I had. I shoved my hands in my pockets and hunched my shoulders slightly to keep myself warm. I also chose a seat between Gretchen and Lily.

"How do they play in this cold?"

"Dunno, but it is freezing, isn't it?" Gretchen agreed.

The match had apparently already started and Gryffindor was a bit ahead. I severely wished I had thought to bring my book because going to the game only reinforced my lack of interest in the sport. Oh, don't get me wrong, I wanted Gryffindor to win, but I would have fallen asleep if it weren't for the fact that the Gryffindor section cheered quite emphatically every time the Gryffindor team did something productive.

The last few minutes were the important part anyway—the part where I looked up just in time to see James catching hold of the snitch. My eyes darted immediately to Lily as the entire Gryffindor area roared with triumph. She had a kind of loopy, glowing look on her face and I smiled to myself. She was gone—there was no coming back from the kind of feelings she had for James.

"And did you see how he stretched so far it looked like he was going to fall off his broom!" Lily asked excitedly as we made our way to the victory party in the Gryffindor common room.

"It was a great catch," Gretchen was unsuccessfully keeping the boredom from her voice as she was already tired of hearing about the catch. Lily had been gushing for the past few minutes. It had taken us nearly 20 minutes to get down from the stands because we had come so late and gotten seats so far from the stairs. By that time, the victory party had already started and we were late.

"It was a great game," Lily reflected. "Did you like it, Lore?"

I simply nodded. After all, who didn't like sitting in the freezing cold for hours watching people flying back and forth with balls? "I liked the end." It was the only part I had paid attention to.

"I can practically smell the butterbeer from here," Gretchen said eagerly outside of the portrait. She was obviously excited about the party. The portrait swung open and revealed something that I was sure I had never seen before.

The lights were dimmed, but enchanted sprinklers hung in each corner and the fire was lit. Streamers and banners of maroon and gold decorated the walls in honor of the Gryffindor victory. Almost everyone in the Gryffindor house was crowded in the common room. A group of mostly boys had gathered in the center of the room and lifted James onto their shoulders. They were singing an unintelligible song almost drunk with happiness. Perhaps some really were drunk.

Gretchen handed me a butterbeer and disappeared in the crowd to mingle. "She always does that," Lily remarked to me over the off-key singing. "She loves parties—looking for her next Eddie Bloom, you know," she smirked.

I nodded, understanding. Gretchen was finding another boy to keep her from being lonely. I took a sip of the butterbeer and was immediately warmed. "So this really is a big deal then?" I asked.

"Of course!" Lily responded immediately. Her eyes were on James, up on shoulders like some kind of absurd hero. "You don't think he'll fall, do you?" she asked, a little worried.

"No, I don't," I laughed. "Good reflexes are important for a Seeker."  
This placated her and she was content to return her attention to me. "God that was an amazing match. But you don't really know, do you? I saw you nodding off, admit it."

"What can I say? There's a reason I don't usually go to matches," I shrugged with a small blush. I found Sirius out of the corner of my eye and turned to see him chatting with Gretchen. My stomach sunk a bit, but I kept telling myself that I knew it was going to happen, so feeling badly about it was stupid.

"May I have this dance?" James asked Lily. I turned to see her face light up as James gallantly held out his hand and almost bowed. He was grinning like a fool, obviously caught up in the moment and feeling like the hero he was being treated as.

I gave her a wink as James led her away. This left me alone, what a surprise. I stood awkwardly where they had left me for a little while. I finished my butterbeer and set down the cup. This was ludicrous. I wasn't going to stay somewhere, waiting for my friends to be done having their fun; I was going to reclaim my Saturday.

I began walking towards the girl's staircase, but a hand on my arm stopped me. I turned around right into Sirius. He grinned at me and his eyes were a bit glazed. As he enveloped me in a hug, I smelled something a bit strong than butterbeer on him. "Sirius, have you been drinking?" I asked carefully.

"Just a bit, love. I'm not drunk, I swear," he assured me, draping an arm over my shoulder to lead me back to the party. "You aren't leaving, are you?" he looked down at me with pleading eyes and I nearly melted.

But his heart belonged to someone else. It wasn't right for me to still swoon. It would be better for me to go up to my dorm. "I was, actually. Congratulations on the win, but the party is a bit much for me."

"Oh, come on, Love, just a dance? I swear I'll be a perfect gentleman," he raised his right hand and I had to laugh.

"You want _me_ to dance with you?" My eyes swept the room, but Gretchen was already dancing with someone else. No wonder he had come looking for me—she was already busy. "I guess one dance wouldn't hurt."

"No it wouldn't," Sirius agreed with a tone of finality, and led me to the floor. He took my hands in his and we began moving together to the music. I'm not a particular good dancer, but Sirius was worse so it consoled me. He also wasn't afraid of making a fool out of himself, so he made me laugh.

But laughing was bad. Laughing and dancing and being with him was bad because I wasn't his girl and I was only setting myself up for heartbreak. Just as I was about to listen to my conscience and leave, a slower song came on and Sirius pulled me into his arms to continue dancing. Everything in my head was screaming at me to leave, but he was holding me tightly and I didn't really want to leave.

"Lore," he whispered and I swore I heard his voice crack.

"Yeah?" I whispered back, looking up.

Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he took a quick step back. "Thanks for the dance." He gave me a brisk smile, ruffled my hair and turned to leave.

I mentally kicked myself. Jesus Christ, had I actually thought he was going to kiss me? How stupid was I? Sirius clearly didn't like me like that. I sighed as I climbed the stairs, with a last look at Sirius. He was standing in the corner, talking to James.


	24. Better Than You Know Yourself

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I was sure that some of my dorm mates were feeling the results of the fire whiskey the next morning. I opened the curtains at 12:30 and Susanna George moaned, rolled over, and grunted, "Turn off the sun!" I giggled and closed the curtains again. I picked up my book to let everyone else sleep. I tip-toed out of the room and walked down to the common room.

Remus and James were sitting there talking in low voices. Remus seemed upset and James was rolling his eyes. As I reached the bottom step, they both stopped talking and turned to look at me. "Hey Lore," James said. It sounded forced, which made me suspicious.

"Hi James, Remus," I nodded at each of them and sat on the opposite side of the couch as Remus.

"Did you just wake up?" Remus asked. He shot a look at James that clearly said they weren't going to continue their previous conversation. I could have asked what they had been talking about, but I knew they wouldn't tell me anyway. Since they had stopped talking just as I entered, they obviously didn't want me to hear.

"No, I've been up but I can't say the same for my roommates. They might have had a bit too much to drink," I said with a small smile. "I came down here so I wouldn't disturb anyone."

"Sounds good," Remus smiled awkwardly and began twiddling his thumbs. Literally. I was about to say something, but he stood suddenly. "I'm going down to lunch. Anyone want to join?"

I shook my head, "I'm not hungry just yet."

"Me either," James added. "But I'm sure Wormtail will go with you."

Remus nodded briskly and left. "That was weird," I frowned at James who merely shrugged and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Anyway, did you see me and Lily last night? She danced with me for a long time! She even let me put my hand on her waist," James beamed like a child. "She's really warming to me."

"That's great," I smiled. "Yeah, I have a feeling it's only going to go uphill from here, James. I'm so happy for the two of you. When it's time, you're going to make a great couple."

"What do you mean? Do you know something I don't?"

My eyes grew wide. Oops! I had let something slip that I hadn't meant to! "What I mean to say is that… I mean… uh… Oh crap," I dropped my head into my hands when James just laughed at my attempts to fix it.

"So, what's going on?" James prompted.

"Well, Lily's decided she likes you, but she's worried about her reputation. She doesn't want to be seen as a hypocrite because she claimed to hate you for so long. She decided that it would be better to be your friend first and then start something so it doesn't look like she just woke up one day and didn't hate you anymore."

James leaned back and took off his glasses to rub his hazel eyes. "Woah. That's a lot to process. So let me get this straight. She likes me, but doesn't want anyone else to know?"

"Exactly. Which is why you can't tell anyone I told you. Just continue being the charming bloke we all know you are, and you'll be fine. And we'll never speak of this again, right?"

James nodded, but he was grinning so widely he looked deranged. "Of course not." He settled back in the seat and looked at me with a strange glint in his eye. "So, Lore, how are things going with you and Si-"

"Shh!" I interrupted. I fought the urge to blush. "Actually… erm…"

"Because I wanted to know if-"

"I've sort of moved on-"

"You still liked him because he… wait, what?" James cut himself off as he realized what I had been saying as he was talking.

I didn't know what motivated me to lie. It was like all of the sudden it hit me and I didn't want to talk about Sirius anymore. I wanted to be over it already because he liked Gretchen. The easiest way to move on would be to claim to like someone else. Or at least, the easiest way to make it look like I had moved on would be to claim to like someone else.

"You've moved on?" James was still flabbergasted.

"Yeah," I looked down at my hands, not sure if he would be able to call me on my bluff. "I like someone else."

"That was quick…" he muttered, but I heard it. He seemed at a loss for words otherwise. "So no more Sirius?"

I looked into his eyes and shook my head. This part, at least, wasn't a lie. "No more Sirius."

"Who is it?"

"What?" I hadn't expected this question.

"Who do you like?"

"Um… it's sort of private. I don't really want to talk about it," I looked back at my hands and swallowed. "So do you actually want to go to lunch now? I think I actually am hungry," I stood, as eager as Remus had been to leave a few minutes ago.

"Uh, sure," James nodded. He stood and we went down together, but James was strange, almost heavy-hearted. Was he really so intent on me and Sirius being together? It that was the case, then he should have concocted some sort of love potion for Sirius so it wouldn't just be a one-sided love.

~

"Did you talk to her?" Sirius asked, trying not to sound to eager as James entered their dorm later that night. He had essentially camped in his room all day. Not only had he awoken with a royal headache, but he was also avoiding Lore.

James bit the inside of his cheek and jumped onto his own bed. He felt like drawing the curtains and hiding completely from his best mate. He didn't want to report bad news to him. "Yeah."

Sirius frowned. James only bit the inside of his cheek when he was hiding being upset or about to lie. "And?" he prompted.

James sighed. Last night when Sirius had asked him to see how Lore felt about him, James had been reprehensive then too. He didn't like the idea of being sneaky around Lore—she was too sweet and didn't deserve it. "Bad news, mate."

Sirius fell back on his pillows, filled with an emotion strange to him. He was actually getting upset over a girl. A girl he had liked a lot, granted, but nonetheless. Sirius Black didn't get upset over girls. "What did she say?"

James really didn't want to say the next bit. But all the same, he heard himself say, "She said that she likes someone else. I didn't tell her you like her," he said, hoping it would be some sort of consolation for his love struck friend.

"At least," Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. At least she wouldn't think he was an idiot and things could be sort of normal. At least she didn't know how he really felt. He didn't think he could stand not being her friend either because things had gotten awkward. "So that's it?"

"Don't get down, Mate," James urged. "Plenty of other birds in the sky," he attempted to grin.

"You're right," Sirius said. He was still bummed. He had really thought Lore liked him back at least a little. After all, there was a time where all it took was a look from him to make her blush. But not anymore. Maybe she really had moved on. "Who is it that she likes?" he asked, still not entirely ready to let it go.

"She didn't say. But don't worry about it. You're probably just not her type or something," James reasoned.

Sirius rolled his eyes. He was everyone's type. Whose type wasn't charming, good-looking, smart, funny and passionate? "Let's just drop it then. Thanks for trying for me, Mate."

"Anytime." James was worried that Sirius was more upset than he was letting on, but didn't say anything more. If anything, he knew not to bother Sirius over girls. And to tell the truth, he was kind of glad that Lore had given an excuse not to date Sirius. At first he had wanted them to get together, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was better if they didn't get together. Sirius didn't feel the same way about Lore that James felt about Lily. Sirius tended to confuse his feelings and mostly ended up just sleeping with a girl and getting bored of her immediately afterwards. James didn't want to see either of his friends hurt each other.

So overall, he was glad Lore had made up some new love interest. She had been lying so badly, it would have been hard not to figure it out. Plus, there was no way she had gotten over Sirius so fast. Yup, she had been lying all right, but he didn't care. Not as long as it was protecting both his friends from each other.

Sirius lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, stewing in his predicament. Lore didn't like him? Well, he wouldn't dwell on it. He'd get over it just like she had gotten over him. And how did Sirius Black get over a girl? He moved onto another one. And for now, anyone would do.

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** Again, sorry about the mix up with the chapter I forgot to add. So if you haven't, please go back and read the story from the chapter, "Falling for him." The story will make a lot more sense.**


	25. Christmas with the Whites

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I exchanged hugs with Lily and Gretchen as I got off the train. It was finally Christmas Holidays and we finally had a bit of a break from school. I searched the crowd for the Marauders, but they had apparently already disappeared. With one last wave, I went to find my father. He hugged me hello and took my bags. Through side-long apparition, we were both standing in the foyer of our house the next moment. I breathed a sigh of relief to be back home and away from the craziness.

"But, Darling, it's Christmas-"

"I know, Mum, but I have to get going. I'm sorry I'm sorry! Give my love to Lorelei," Farrah's voice came from the fireplace. I looked over curiously. The logs of the fireplace had been shaped mysteriously like Farrah's face. I started—I didn't think I had ever seen that before.

My mother was sort of upset. "Well, she's not coming for Christmas. Apparently she's got some new boyfriend and promised to spend the holidays with him and his family. I tell you, that girl has no priorities. Oh, hello Lorelei, welcome home. Your sister isn't coming home so I guess it's just the three Musketeers this year." She tried to smile but it ended up looking like a grimace.

"Don't worry Mum, it will be fine. One less dish to clean?" I offered as consolation. "Besides it will still be a big Christmas what with Dad's family coming over."

That may have consoled my mother, but I personally spent almost all of Christmas day in my room. I wasn't really a big fan of my father's family. My dad was the oldest of his siblings so I had aunts and uncles with children all around the age of 6. They would run around the house and I was usually employed to take care of them. I convinced myself that maybe if I hid, I wouldn't be forced to babysit.

No such luck. "Lorelei, come down here please," my mother called up the stairs.

However when I got down there, I wasn't immediately tackled by three 8 year olds, but instead hugged by an elderly relative who I wasn't sure I was really even related to. She smelled old.

"Oh Lorelei, the last time I saw you was when you had just grown in your front teeth. Let's see them," the old woman spoke in a baby-voice to me like I was still the same age I had been then.

Hesitantly, I smiled to show her. I felt vaguely like a show horse. It was then that I remembered her. She was my great aunt Lucy. Last time she had been over she had made me smile at her to see my teeth too. What was her weird fascination with teeth?

"Lovely," Lucy said approvingly.

I greeted about ten more elderly relatives that I didn't really remember and settled into my babysitting job. However, this time I got to hold a newborn in the next room while the 'adults' had a talk in the living room. I was able, however, to eavesdrop.

"It's inevitable, Tom."

"I don't believe that. We can rise above all the others. Maybe the other pureblood families have sold themselves out to this blood purity nonsen-"

"Sold themselves out? What is that supposed to mean? My late husba-"

"Someone was bound to eventually come along saying the same things he's saying. Purebloods are simply better tha-"

"He's not the first! Salazar Slyther-"

"Not at the expense of innocent lives-"

"You're being unre-"

"Dinner everyone!"

We Whites tend to interrupt each other. But through the snippets of conversation, I realized they were talking about the man who called himself the Dark Lord. The name made me shiver. I hadn't know until now that some of my family members actually supported him. I had known that some of them were blood purists and only allowed their children to marry purebloods. But it was no secret that true pureblood families were hard to come by. Because of the small numbers there was quite a bit of intermarrying going on which was a very bad idea, I thought.

The dinner conversation was polite, as the adults had dropped the controversial subject. I was about to berate my cousin Shannon for flinging a pea at me with her spoon when the conversation suddenly turned to me.

"So, Lorelei, how's school?"

I calmly deposited the pea on the corner of my plate and turned my attention to my grandfather, who had asked me. "School is going wonderfully."

"Doing well?"

"Lorelei got top O.W.L.S. last year, Grandfather," my mother answered for me, knowing I didn't particularly like to brag about myself.

"I didn't ask you, Natalie. I asked your daughter. You aren't slacking off this year, are you, Girl?" he fixed me with his calculating stare and I practically shrunk away.

"N-no Grandfather," I replied softly.

"Stop scaring the poor girl, Horace," my grandmother chided her husband. She put a pleasant smile on her face. "What we really want to know is about your boyfriend," she winked at me.

"I don't have one," I shook my head.

"What?" my grandmother looked taken aback. "What's a pretty girl like you doing without a boyfriend? Oh we must change that."

"Indeed," another family member added.

"How about that charming Black boy?" suggested another.

My ears perked up and it felt like I had just swallowed something too large. I felt my face grow hot, but they weren't even paying attention to me anymore. Thank God.

"He's a bit younger than Lorelei, isn't he?"

"Oh, yes, I do believe he's a fifth year. What is his name again? Regulate?"

My face fell. Oh. They weren't talking about Sirius. Of course they weren't talking about Sirius. They meant the 'good' pureblood son of the Black family, Regulus. Just like Sirius had said. How funny would it have been, though, if I had been set up with Sirius through my family?

But I really didn't need to be fixed up by my family. I sent my dad a pleading look for him to save me, which he did. He cleared his throat. "I'm sure Lorelei can find her own husband if and when she's ready. Lorelei, why don't you start the dishes?" he gestured off to the kitchen. I loved my daddy.

Gratefully I dove into the kitchen and practically drowned myself in the sink. I took my time to carefully and thoroughly clean every single dish so I wouldn't have to go back out there. They continued to talk about my future husband for a few minutes until they bored of it.  
Seriously, what else is family for other than to torture you? After the meal, most of my family members went home to sleep off their full stomachs, but a few had elected to stay and I was therefore unceremoniously usurped from my room. I wouldn't have cared either, if not for the fact that I would be sharing the living room with my great aunt Lucy, the one with the teeth fetish. And she snored.

At eleven o'clock, I couldn't take it anymore and got up to make some nice hot cocoa. It wasn't that late, anyway. In the kitchen, I hummed Christmas carols to myself and settled onto the bar stool to watch the world outside slowly becoming transformed with snow. This didn't exactly qualify as a good Christmas, but the snow was putting me in a better mood. I loved the snow.

Suddenly an urgent tapping at the window scared me so badly I spilled my cocoa all over the front of my pajamas. "Ow!" I cried as quietly as I could. It had been very hot. I lifted my stained shirt away from my skin and went over to the window where an owl I didn't recognize was shivering in the snow. I opened the window and it flew in and perched on the back of the bar stool I had been sitting on and shook the snow off. I managed to take the note from its mouth, despite numerous pecks from the displeased owl after it had released the note. I made a face at the owl and broke the Hogwarts seal.

_Students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,  
It is my unfortunate duty to inform you of the recent death of one of the most valued members of our school. Francis Almeter died yesterday at 6:37 PM, the reasons of which are not yet known. Francis was a sixth year Prefect and a wonderful boy to all who knew him. His memorial service will be held in the Almeter household two days from now. I urge you to keep the Almeter family in your thoughts in this difficult time for them.  
Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore_

My breath caught. Francis had been in Hufflepuff, but I had known him! This was awful news! I sat on my bed and offered a silent prayer for him. What a tragedy and how hard it must have been on his family. I hadn't been close with him, but I knew him well enough to agree with Dumbledore's assessment. He had been very nice.

My mind immediately fell to the cause of his death. Francis had been a slightly timid boy, never getting into trouble. It also made me curious that the letter had said they didn't know what the cause of his death was. That ruled out any obvious causes of death. I shuddered at the thought of possibly dark magic being the reason. I knew the Almeter family had been very outspoken for muggle protection, and what with the conversation I had overheard, it seemed like a possibility…

I tried to shake this from my mind. It was starting to scare me. If Francis had been killed, who was to say that we weren't also targets? Blood traitors and whatnot..._Stop thinking about this_, I instructed myself. It was probably just some unknown disease.


	26. Prefects and Gretchen

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Back from the Holidays, I immediately found the compartment with Lily in it. I greeted her with a big smile and sat next to her on the seat. "How was your holiday?" I asked pleasantly.

"Same as it always is," Lily said with a smile. "Yours?"

Before I could answer, I was cut off. "Lily!" James burst into the compartment, all energy and smiles. "Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" she asked, his enthusiasm was catching on because she stood, as excited as he was. As soon as she did, he rushed over to pick her up and whirl her around.

"I'm a Prefect!" he practically sang, pointing to the badge he proudly wore on his chest.

"What?" Lily and I asked at the same time. I stood too, feeling left out as everyone else around me had become much taller than my sitting form.

James looked at me, startled. "Oh, sorry Lore, didn't see you!" he hugged me, but still couldn't contain himself and I ended up being whirled around too. I was less thrilled than Lily had been. When he set me down I detected a smidge of jealousy in Lily's eyes that I had received the same treatment that she had. James took no notice. "I'm a Prefect!" he repeated to me.

"How did that happen?" I asked.

"The letter-" Lily began, lifting her hand to her mouth as she apparently understood. James nodded, his initial excitement passing.

"What letter?" I was still confused.

"The letter from Dumbledore that we got over vacation," Lily explained.

"What? The letter said that Francis died-"

"Yeah, I got the letter as well, but mine also had the prefect badge in it and an extra letter from Dumbledore saying that, as regrettable as it was, he had to appoint a new prefect and he was impressed with my turnaround or something odd like that."

"Really?" Lily asked.

James nodded solemnly. "Sirius laughed for hours… Days maybe. He was convinced it was some sort of joke. And to tell the truth, I'm a bit confused myself. Sirius and I have spent the past six and half years in detention practically every night. How could I possibly be a good role model?"

"Not this year," Lily pointed out. "You've stopped pranking and getting detention. You know, I've always meant to ask why. It seemed so sudden, like one day you were playing mean jokes and the next you weren't," Lily added with a puzzled look.

James shrugged. "People change, I suppose." Boy, was he quick. In literally a second, he had figured that I hadn't ever told Lily about my black mail in the beginning of the year, and had come up with something else believable to say.

"Well, reasons for the turnaround aside, maybe Dumbledore was hoping that you would use your popularity to influence others. Show people that a turnaround is possible," I offered as a possible explanation.

"Right, well… either way, I'm a Prefect now and we probably ought to be patrolling, shouldn't we?" he asked Lily with a serious look.

Lily shot him a slightly agitated look. "Probably. We'll be back in a bit, Lore."

I nodded and settled back into the compartment. As I sat alone, it occurred to me that it was strange to be sitting alone this year. I assumed Remus was patrolling like Lily and James were, but where were Sirius, Peter and Gretchen?. Even as I was thinking it, two thirds of my question was answered. Gretchen, followed closely by Peter, entered the compartment. "Hey Lore," Peter greeted enthusiastically as I greeted, "Hey guys!"

Gretchen smiled. "Hi Lore. Have a nice vacation?"

I nodded, "You?"

She shrugged, "It was all right. Where's Lily?" she asked suddenly as she sat on the seat opposite of me.

"Lily and James are patrolling. Did you hear James has been made Prefect?" I asked.

"Yeah, he told us," Peter nodded. "And Sirius? Has he been by here?"

"I'm right here," he drawled, entering. "Hello again Peter and Gretchen. Lore," he nodded at me.

I had to look down to hide my rush of emotion. He had gotten a haircut and looked even more handsome now than ever. It never failed to baffle me. Was it even fair for someone as physically perfect as Sirius to get _more_ attractive? "Hey Sirius," I said, busying myself by getting out my book and setting it next to me.

He nodded at me, "Good Christmas?"

I nodded back and couldn't help but notice how awkward everything had suddenly become. What was different? "Yeah, it was pretty good. Yours?"

"Good as well. The Potters know how to do Christmas. But how insane was James? Prefect?" Sirius burst out laughing. "I mean, Dumbledore might as well have made _me_ Prefect!" He continued laughing for a bit. When he stopped, he wiped the corners of his eyes.

"It's not really that funny," Gretchen pointed out with a raised eyebrow. Her eyes danced with amusement at Sirius. "James has changed because of Lily."

Sirius shot me a look and hid a smile. "Yes, because of Lily. We all know how a woman can change a bloke," he pulled his trunk up on the seat next to him.

I had been amusing myself with unpacking for a bit, but I was getting hungry in my dorm so I decided to go find Lily. I hadn't seen her since the train ride. I traipsed down to the common room, which was empty. I frowned and turned to go back. Suddenly I heard some rustling noises and decided to investigate. As I approached the far corner of the dark common room, I realized there were some people kissing.

"Oh, sorry-" I began, apologizing for interrupting.

"Oh my God," Lily's mouth fell open as she disentangled herself from James. "Lore-"

I looked between the two embarrassed faces and held back the laughter. When had this happened? They weren't 'together' the last time I had checked with the two of them! "Oh, it's OK… I'm sorry; just… uh, resume," I couldn't keep from laughing.

"Lore, it just happened," James said.

I pursed my lips, "I don't care- I mean, I do care, but I'm not upset or anything. I'm happy for the two of you, really," I assured them.

Lily looked almost relieved. I couldn't let it go without one more joke though. "Uh, James, you've got a bit of lipstick, there," I pointed to the corner of my mouth and left with a chuckle.

I quickly left the common room through the portrait hole, nearly knocking into Sirius who was carrying a huge bag containing something I wasn't sure I wanted to know the identity of. "What's got you so happy?" he asked, his voice slightly strained by having to lift his bag.

I began laughing again. "James and Lily have… gotten together," I said.

Sirius dropped his bag in surprise. "Ow! Oh yes, ow!" He grabbed his foot, which had unfortunately been underneath the bag. "That's fantastic! Ow!"

I began laughing harder, but went over to him and made him sit on the stairs. "Take the weight off of your foot. Why didn't you just levitate your bag?"

"'Cause I'm apparently an idiot," Sirius leaned down and removed his shoe.

I nearly fell back, "Sirius, put it back on!" I laughed, covering my nose.

"What? It's not that bad!" Sirius lifted his foot to sniff and made a face. "All right, maybe it is. Sorry about that, Lore." He put his shoe back on. "So James finally did it? He finally won Lily Evans over?"

"So it seems," I smiled. "I'm so happy for them. You were right."

"When?" he asked.

"When you said they were perfect for each other. They really are," I nodded and sat down next to Sirius on the step.

"Well, I'm always right." We stopped talking and in the lull of the conversation, Sirius rubbed his arm, looking around, and then stood quickly, picking his bag up again. "Uh... well I guess I'm off... See you later."

I frowned as he left. That was strange. What was going on with Sirius? He was acting kind of awkwardly around me.

"Lore?" At Lily's voice I turned around and smiled. She took a seat on the step Sirius had been occupying not too long ago. She smiled happily at me.

"So?" I prompted in response to the bright smile on her face. I was happy for a distraction from my thoughts about Sirius.

Lily blushed. "What? Oh… that. Well… We uh… we kind of decided to start dating officially. It's been enough time, right? I mean, no one's going to think I'm a hypocrite, right?" she looked concerned.

"I think it's been enough time. Everyone's generally gotten over the fact that you're friends, so it might be time to drop the bomb. Just don't make a big deal out of it," I advised.

"Right," Lily nodded in agreement.

"Well, Mrs. Potter, do you want to go down to dinner?" I asked with a playful nudge in her ribs at the nickname.

"Shut up!" she laughed, nudging me back.

"But it's so fitting!"

Things resumed normalcy, with the exception of the weirdness with Sirius. I was always tempted to ask what was going on with him, but I never did because I didn't want to make it even more awkward by asking. Something did have to be done, though.

I was eating lunch alone one day when someone slid smoothly next to me. I turned with a smile. Only Sirius did that, and he had only done it in the beginning when he was flirting with me. Maybe he was over his weird mood!

The problem was, when I turned it wasn't Sirius. It was Henry. I was shocked, to say the least. "All right, so here's the thing. When we had our little chat before break, I didn't mean for it to be a once in a lifetime thing. But you, my dear, are not an easy person to find. I've found you now, though." He put his elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his hand to look at me. "So how have you been Lorelei White?" he flashed me a smile.

I smiled, "I've been good. But I have to admit, I didn't know you were looking for me." He really was cute. But what was he doing talking to me?

Henry just smiled again and stared at me. "I was."

I laughed, trying to break the intensity of the moment. "Sorry then. Next time I'll try to be more findable," I chuckled.

His eyes flashed with amusement. "You do that. Anyway, what are you doing sitting here all alone?"

"I'm not really sure where everyone else is… But I don't mind the present company," I heard myself say. Wait, had I really just said that? It was so coy… so unlike anything I'd usually say.

Henry's eyebrows raised, "Really?" he quickly checked his watch. "It's so funny that you say that now because I actually have to get to class."

I was a little disappointed. "Oh sure…" I joked. "Like this isn't some convenient excuse to get away from me," I laughed.

He took my hand and made me look at him. "It isn't, I promise," he said in complete seriousness. Henry hadn't stopped surprising me yet—it was exciting to be around him. "Good bye for now," he said with a wink as he got up.

"Bye," I said. I wished I could come up with something- anything- else to say but I couldn't. I just watched him walk off.

Well look at that. Apparently I could flirt. And apparently I could attract boys. I didn't need Sirius to like me. I wasn't completely unwanted.

I walked down the halls to class but stopped when I heard something suspicious coming from a classroom that was supposed to be empty at that time of day. Curious, I opened the door and right in front of me was Sirius. With Gretchen. Their bodies were entangled and they both had lipstick smeared all over their mouths. I choked on a sob, but tried to play it off by coughing.

"Sorry," I said between forced coughs. I shut the door quickly, wishing I could erase that from my memory. Why did I have to always walk in on that sort of thing?

But my breath caught. It was Gretchen. And Sirius. The bloke I loved and a close friend. Why did it have to be Gretchen? Even though I was prepared for this day and I knew it would happen eventually, it still really hurt. Wasn't it some kind of girl-code that you weren't supposed to date someone your friend liked?

I wiped away the tear in the corner of my eye before it fell. Well, I didn't know about girl code, but if he made Gretchen happy, and vice versa, I knew it would have been wrong to be mad at her for it. It wasn't like I could make Sirius happy. It really was time to move on. I know I had come to that conclusion before, but now it was solid—a mental picture to put with the feeling.

I whipped around, as if leaving behind that room would make my transition all the more easy. Unfortunately, when I did that, I turned too quickly and ran right into someone. My forehead collided with that person's mouth and we both fell back, howling in pain.

I clutched my hand to my head, feeling a bit of wetness seeping out. It was blood, I realized miserably. "I'm sorry!" I cried with my eyes shut, still doubled over in pain.

"You've broken my tooth!"

I knew that voice. It was the smooth, deep voice of James, but now it was strained with pain and it whistled a little on the 'v' of 'you've' and the 'th' of 'tooth.' I opened my eyes in horror. He held half his tooth in his hand and felt where it was missing with the other. It was one of the big teeth right in front too!

I almost cried from embarrassment. "Madame Hubert can fix it right away," I said in attempt to fix what I had done. "I am so, so sorry, I- I d-didn't see y-you!" I stuttered. I was so upset. How could I have broken James' tooth?

He just chuckled, at which I took another step back. What? Did he have head trauma too?

"Actually, it was a bludger that did this, not you. We were practicing quidditch and a loose one got me right in the mouth. I just wanted to freak you out."

I did not laugh. In fact, I punched him in the stomach with my free arm. "You bloody git! You had me so upset that I had broken your tooth! Oh you make me so mad!" I stomped off, but got dizzy after a few steps and had to steady myself against the wall.

"Lore, you'd better come with me to the infirmary," James urged kindly. He put a hand on my arm and I nodded. I had all of the sudden become very nauseous and I knew that dizziness and nausea were symptoms of a concussion. How hard, exactly, had I hit James?

James picked up my arm and put it over his shoulders so he could steady me as we walked. He wrapped his other hand around my waist. "So that's some left hook you've got there," he began conversationally as we walked.

"Sorry I punched you. But you can't play tricks on people like that. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry about that," he didn't sound sorry at all. "But you should have seen the look on your face. It was pretty priceless."

"I'm glad my mortification amuses you," I grumbled.

"_Everyone's_ mortification amuses me," he added with a wink. "So what was so important you weren't looking where you were going? You were obviously eager to get somewhere or else you wouldn't have turned so violently."

"Nowhere in particular," I said. It wasn't a lie—I had just wanted to get away from the scene of Gretchen and Sirius, but I didn't care where away was.

"All right then. Don't you worry about your head, Madame Hubert can fix it right up. I'll even let you go first."

"How very princely of you," I rolled my eyes. We arrived and James dropped me off on a bed to go get Madame Hubert. It looked so soft…

"Don't fall asleep yet, Dear," Madame Hubert stopped me from laying down. Without warning she stuck her wand in my ear and I yelped. It was cold and wet. "Oh yes, it's definitely a concussion. Here, Dear, drink this and then you can go to sleep." She handed me a small bottle of something purple and I held my nose and swallowed it all without letting it touch my tongue. Healing potions were notoriously bad-tasting.

As soon as it was gone, the urge to sleep overwhelmed me. I laid back in the bed I was sitting on and fell immediately asleep, but not after I heard James promise, "I'll be right here when you wake up." To which Madame Hubert argued, "No you will not, young man. I can't have students disturbing the infirm. You will go to your classes and visit during the appropriate hours-" And I was asleep.

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	27. Battle Wounds

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After my concussion, I had a lot of weird dreams. In one, I was an ant and the Dark Lord was the queen ant. Or, rather, he was the king ant. But we were all worker ants and then someone stepped on the anthill. Geez, I wonder what that meant.

It wasn't until it was dark that I woke. The pale moon shone directly into my eyes when I opened them. I sat up and looked around. No one was there, save the other sick people. Most of them were breathing heavily, asleep. There was, however, a light on in the corner where someone was reading and not sleeping. I squinted in the dark to make out the person and when I did I was pleasantly surprised. "Henry?" I called out in a stage whisper.

He looked up and smiled when he saw me. "Hey Lorelei," he whispered back. He beckoned to me and I got out of bed and walked over to his bed. I sat on the opposite end and he crossed his legs underneath his blankets to make room. "What are you doing here?" he asked curiously. We no longer had to whisper.

"I got a concussion…. I'd rather not talk about what a klutz I am, though," I added with a rueful smile.

He laughed. "We can talk about what a klutz I am then," he suggested playfully. He held out his arm, which was covered with a black layer of skin. Was it burnt? "I dropped some liquid fire on my arm in Defense Against the Dark Arts and it burnt almost clean through. I don't know if anything has ever hurt so much. I passed out," he admitted. He half-smiled at me and let his arm drop again.

I nodded my head sympathetically. "I knocked into someone so hard I got myself a concussion," I said, hoping to console him.

"I still win," he laughed. "But that's pretty close. I don't know if I've ever done that," Henry reached over and put his forgotten book on the bedside table. "But last year I was playing Quidditch and I fell off my broom right onto a rock. Even Madame Hubert couldn't heal it well enough to get rid of the scar," he showed me his right upper arm where a long slice of skin was slightly discolored and pinched, as scars tended to be.

Since we were apparently competing, I pulled my pajama pants up so he could see just above my knee. "When I was ten, my sister made up a game that involved making up hexes to shout at each other. Turned out the one she shouted actually existed," I laughed at the memory. Farrah had been so upset she had cried for days, even after I was healed. "Needless to say we never played again."

Henry smiled at me. He turned around and lifted his shirt. There was a scar right below his shoulder blade. "I sat on a chair that broke and fell backwards onto one of the pieces."

I sat upright and lifted my shirt enough so he could see just above my hip on the right side. There was a small, poorly healed jagged scar. "I fell down three flights of moving staircases and a landed on a vase… after I broke it. I was too embarrassed to come here so I healed it myself. Actually," I added with the slightest smile, "I haven't ever told anyone about this one."

He raised his right hand, "I won't tell. But look at this one," he turned and pointed to the nape of his neck. There was a small scar there. "My cat went crazy."

Among all our other battle wounds, this one didn't seem to fit. I laughed, almost hard enough to wake up the other patients. I instinctively reached up and touched the scar with my cool fingers. His neck was warm so when I touched him, he got goose-bumps. His warm hand caught and held mine as he turned around to face me again.

I blushed. "Sorry," I apologized for touching him and for giving him goose-bumps.

He smiled. "It's all right."

"Well you win, then," I said in a low voice, not looking away from his eyes and with my hand still in trapped by his warm one. "There's really no competing with crazed cats." I looked down at out hands with a laugh and he did too. He let go finally.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping off the concussion potion?" he changed the topic. He stretched his arms over his head and I found myself unable to tear my eyes from his rippling triceps. I blushed and turned away so he wouldn't catch me.

"I don't know. It looks like I've been sleeping for hours so I guess I'm all slept out for now."

"For now," he smiled. "Do you want to play cards or something?" he produced a deck from his pocket.

I laughed, "Do you always carry around a deck of cards in your pocket?"

He laughed too. "Just in case," he winked at me and began dealing them.

"Do you know how to play any muggle games?" he asked as he continued to deal.

I shook my head. "I've never even played with muggle cards. What does 'A' mean? And what is that black loopy thing?" I asked, overturning one in my pile. It looked like a clover.

Henry laughed at my lack of knowledge and proceeded to teach me, though the concept was strangely basic but hard to understand.  
We talked and laughed and I tried my hardest to be myself and not flirt, as strange as that sounds. My odd, accidental charm seemed to work on him too—we got progressively closer as the night wore on. And apparently I was much more tired than I had thought because, after a few games, I had fallen asleep on Henry's bed.

I had another strange dream, but this time I had a fish that I had to use as a weapon and I had to keep everyone from trying to get something in a box. I didn't even know what was in the box, all I knew was that I had to keep everyone away from it. My dream self also knew that I would probably die in pursuit of keeping the box safe, but it was too important. Weird, huh?

I awoke again in a complete daze with a minor amount of drool coming out of my mouth. I looked around and didn't recognize anything. I wasn't at home… or in my dorm… where was I? Just as I thought it, I realized there was a weight on me.

Why was something wrapped around me? I looked down and saw that it was an arm. Henry's arm to be exact. I frowned, momentarily confused. What had happened? Then I realized I had fallen asleep on his bed. Not in this exact position, but people move in their sleep. I gingerly lifted his arm and laid it behind me. It was strange to wake up not alone. I looked back at him with a slight smile. He was so cute when he slept. And it was too cute that he had wanted to cuddle with me in my sleep.

Boy, if there ever were a bloke to get over Sirius with, it seemed I had found the right one. Last night had been really nice. Not only had he made me laugh and let me win a few times at cards, but I also seemed to be able to amuse him without even trying. It had been easy to be around him. He didn't make me at all nervous or self-conscious. He was the complete opposite of Sirius.

As I was getting out of the infirmary bed, I looked up and locked eyes with none other than Sirius Black. His jaw dropped as he obviously took in the scene. Me, scantily dressed in my pajamas coming out of the bed and arms of a bloke he didn't know. Crap. I didn't want him to think anything bad of it. I attempted to smile and opened my mouth to explain, but before I did, he just set something down on my bed with a thoughtful frown and left the infirmary.

I walked over to see what he had left on my bed and saw that it was a card. I looked up and frowned. What had gotten into Sirius? What did he care that I was with another boy? He was snogging Gretchen only the day before. He had her now, so what did he care about what I did?


	28. With Sirius?

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The next morning at breakfast, I realized I hadn't had the opportunity to tell Lily about Gretchen and Sirius getting together. They came into the Great Hall, Sirius with his arm around her waist, and sat next to each other at the table. Gretchen had an enormous smile on her face and Sirius didn't. But that was only because boys like Sirius think they're too cool for emotion.

Lily dropped her fork onto her plate and it made a loud clanking noise. She looked from Sirius to Gretchen back to Sirius to me. I blushed when her accusing eyes fell on me. I gave her a look, hoping she wouldn't make a big deal. She cleared her throat. "Good morning Sirius, Gretchen," she was still frowning in confusion.

"Morning Lily," Sirius greeted. He didn't even acknowledge me.

"All right, so I know this is sudden but Sirius and I are now an item," Gretchen announced breathlessly to Lily. She smiled at Sirius and I saw her squeeze his hand on the table. It kind of hurt my heart. All right, it really hurt my heart.

"This is sudden," Lily agreed, still frowning. "When did it happen?"

"Yesterday," Gretchen replied dreamily.

"What's the news?" James interrupted. He had just approached with the rest of the Marauders. He sat next to Lily, followed closely by Remus and Peter who took nearby seats as well.

"Gretchen and Sirius are…are…" Lily was at a loss for words. I certainly wasn't going to say anything.

"Together," Sirius said firmly. He was still avoiding my eyes. But Lily wasn't. She looked at me with a look that clearly said, "We will be talking about this later." And we would, of that I had no doubt.

But in the meantime, Gretchen was making me want to hurl. She was all over Sirius. It was making me a little sick to my stomach. It was also making me want to burst into tears. I quietly excused myself from the table with a brave smile and some excuse about forgetting a book. What I really did was go to the bathroom and sob quietly into a tissue for about seven minutes.

When I got out of the bathroom Lily was standing there. She had most definitely heard me crying—I didn't exactly cry softly. I wiped all the remaining tears and tried to act like nothing had happened. I went to the mirror and splashed some cold water on my face. "Are you all right?" Lily began in a kind voice.

I nodded and wiped my face off with my sleeve. "I'm fine."

"You didn't sound fine a minute ago," she protested gently.

I tried to laugh it off, "No, I'm ok. I don't even know why I was crying. It's not like crying solves anything." But it had helped a little. Crying just makes you feel better sometimes.

"Oh, I am so mad at Gretchen. With Sirius? With him? Seriously?" she began vehemently. She patted me on the shoulder, as if her vicarious anger would console me.

"I wish you wouldn't be mad at her," I protested. I turned to face her so we weren't talking in the mirror anymore.

"But she's dating the bloke you've loved for-"

"I know," I cut in with a grimace.

"So how can you not be mad at her? She knew how much you fancied him too!" Lily realized suddenly, and her anger intensified.

I shrugged. "I guess I don't really feel like I have the right to be mad. After all,

_I_ was the one that gave Sirius advice on how to ask Gretchen out. And if he likes her and she likes him, then who am I to stand in their way?" I finished, wiping a bit more water from my hairline. "Besides you saw how happy they're making each other…" I trailed off. I knew I was also trying to convince myself.

"You're like some sort of strange, selfless breed of human, aren't you?" Lily asked rhetorically to make me laugh. Which I did, half-heartedly. But unwilling to completely drop the subject, she bit her lip and continued. "That's so weird, because I really did think he liked

_you_," Lily said, more to herself than to me.

"Apparently not," I said sadly. I wanted to stop feeling sorry for myself, but it was hard. I busied myself with picking my book bag back up. "But I've sort of… started liking someone else, I think…"

"Ooh! Who? Do I know him?"

"Remember the bloke from the library?"

Lily's eyes lit up, "He was cute! His name is Henry, right?"

I nodded. "We talked almost all night when we were both in the infirmary and it was really nice. It was like there was no pressure and I could be myself. I even flirted a little. I think," I added doubtfully.  
She laughed, "Well good for you then. But we'd probably ought to get to class. You're all right, right?"

I nodded and we parted. I walked slowly, dreading arriving at Potions where I would have to sit next to

_him_ all class period. Sirius was already at our table when I walked in. Of course. I took a deep breath and moved over to sit next to him. "Hey," I greeted quietly.

He replied, "Hmmph," without turning to look at me.

I bit my lip. Something was definitely wrong. Was he ever going to tell me or was he going to freeze me out? At the very least I had thought he was a close enough friend to tell me when something was wrong. But as we sat in silence after Sirius deflected all my polite conversation starters with monosyllabic responses, I realized Sirius wasn't going to tell me what was wrong. I had to ask; so I did.

"Sirius," I began slowly, "are you angry with me or something?"

"Why would I be angry with you?" he still avoided my eyes. I fought the urge to roll them—he was being so petulant.

"I have no idea, that's why I was asking. If this is about yesterday and Henry-"

"Henry? Henry Russel? The bloke from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team? That's who that was?" he perked up at this, but he looked almost suspicious. Then he turned away, trying to act as if he hadn't been as interested as he was.

Russel? What that his last name? Oh, yes it definitely was. "Yeah that's who that was, but what you saw… it wasn't what it looked like." Why was I explaining myself to him? Even as I was doing it, I knew that I probably shouldn't be. This wasn't cohesive to letting Sirius go. "We were playing cards and I fell asleep on his bed."

What was that on his face? Relief? "Look, Lore, who you do what with is your own business but I still don't want to see you get hurt. You're my friend."

I bit back the urge to heave a sigh. Always friends, never more. Twist the knife, why don't you? "I appreciate that, Sirius. But even if Henry were a bad guy, which he isn't by the way, I can still take care of myself."

Sirius bit his lip and nodded. "I know."

"And if I do chose to start dating someone, I don't want you to be all weird around me. I mean, I like being… your friend. I don't want something stupid to come between us, especially if it doesn't have to."

"Of course not," Sirius agreed. He pulled me in for a hug and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Maybe he had realized how dumb he had been being. Maybe he had decided that he really didn't care about what I did after all. And as sad as it was, in that moment I let him go. Figuratively

_and_ literally as I pulled away from the hug.

"So that's why you were being weird? Because you thought I would get myself hurt by Henry?" I asked lightly.

Sirius shrugged. "I guess I was surprised to see you two…" Sirius cleared his throat. "You know… in bed or whatever."

"Sirius Black, I do believe you're blushing!" I laughed. I pointed to his cheeks where a distinct red color was spreading across.

"I am not!" Sirius insisted.

I laughed again. "All right. I mean, for the record you

_are_ but I can pretend you aren't. So you're saying it was surprise—what you saw? And why did you think Henry was a bad guy?"

"Well, I just… didn't know you knew him. Any bloke that you do

_that_ with just after you've met him isn't good for you. That makes him bad."

I couldn't believe my ears! "Sirius, you do realize that's exactly your reputation, right? I mean, you're the one that's pictured as the bloke that meets a girl, snogs her, and drops her," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but we already know I'm bad," Sirius poked me in the side, causing me to drop the cloves.

I rolled my eyes. So Sirius thought I deserved better that the type of bloke that

_he_ was? Maybe I did. Henry certainly wasn't like that. And I knew it wasn't what he meant, because he didn't know I had liked him, but Sirius was basically telling me to get over him. Well, I wasn't one to ignore all the signs, so I was going to find Henry.


	29. The Ice is Broken

**Helloooo Everyone! I hope everybody had HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I have finally uploaded the next chappie! Applause? *looks around* Eh, Oh well. ANYWAY! I did not get as many reviews as normal... BUT THAT IS OKAY! :) I hope everybody has a extraordinary new year!**

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* * *

I didn't have to find him because as I was walking to the Great Hall from my last class the next day he came running up beside me. "Hey, Lore." He smiled down at me from his superior height.

"Hi Henry."

"So, you left quickly the other day. What, do I snore or something?" he grinned, clearly knowing that he didn't.

"Yeah," I nodded.

That caught him off guard. He eyed me, shocked, until I relented and grinned. Then he laughed. "You almost had me. So what happened? I mean… I'll admit I was a little worried when you weren't in your bed either."

That warmed my heart—and my cheeks. "Y-you were worried about me?" I asked timidly. I looked up at him through my lashes with a shy smile.

He cleared his throat and looked away. "I mean… I just thought something bad had happened. I mean, we _were_ in the infirmary. Sometimes people take a turn for the worse even after they've been healed."

I nodded my head, understanding. "Don't worry about me. I get up really early usually, and when Madame Hubert saw me awake she let me go. I would have said something to you, but you were still asleep."

"You wake up early usually? Christ I didn't know that type of person actually existed," Henry joked.

"Well, at least one does," I joked back. We continued on in silence after our lame jokes and it gave me a little time to think. You know, I actually think it's sort of the test of how good people are together. Walking in silence, I mean. If the silence gets awkward, or someone breaks it because they aren't comfortable, then chances are the relationship isn't strong enough and the people really aren't comfortable just being themselves around each other. But when two people can walk without saying anything, it's really a testament to how they're going to do in the future. Sirius and I could always walk and sit in silence…

But Henry couldn't. "So I was thinking you could come sit with me at the Ravenclaw table for lunch."

He hadn't even looked at me while he was talking to me so it made me think he was nervous to see my reaction. He did eventually peek down at me. He must have recognized the look of panic on my face because he looked immediately back in front of him, "Of course we could pretend that those words never made it out of my mouth… We _could_… and maybe we should pretend that didn't happen because apparently I'm scaring you by acting so-"

"No!" I practically shouted. He was a rambler like me.

That stopped him. He looked at me, shocked. "No?"

"No, that's not what I meant! I didn't mean, 'no' like 'no.' I meant that you didn't scare me with the question or of the prospect of having lunch with you. I'd actually really like to I'm just not good with new people all at once," I said shyly tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "I don't think I can do it at the Ravenclaw table?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Oh… it's no problem. I can sit with you at the Gryffindor table?"

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, sure." I couldn't wait to see everyone's reaction.

I felt fingers lace through my own and a warm palm on mine. Henry had grabbed my hand and was holding it tightly as we walked to the Great Hall. Secretly, I was like some sort of tumultuous ocean during a storm. So many thoughts and feelings were going through my head that I thought I might accidentally let one slip. It felt like my thoughts were so loud that Henry could hear them.

What the hell did hand-holding mean? Well, more like what did sleeping together once (just sleeping) and then hand-holding mean? Did he want to be with me? Well, it was kind of obvious that he liked me, even if only a little, but if so, what was with the small gesture? Shouldn't he have said something first? Maybe he was just testing the waters to see if I would hold his hand and not let go. Maybe he was waiting for a gesture on my part too—maybe it was his way of protecting himself form being let down in case I didn't like him back.

So should I have told him how I felt? How did I feel? I was just getting over Sirius and it would be nice to have someone so I wouldn't feel like my heart was being ripped out every time I saw Sirius with Gretchen. It would be nice not to be lonely.

And I did like him. I mean, it wasn't the kind of earth-shattering, heart-warming, take-your-breath-away kind of feeling that I had about Sirius. That I had had about Sirius. He was nice and I got the impression that he wasn't going to be a lot of drama or hurt me. Maybe that was exactly what I needed.

For now, I knew I didn't need the school's tongues wagging because Henry and I walked in holding hands. So I used the excuse that my bag was falling from my shoulder to let go of his hand. We walked in and I sat in my usual place. This time, Henry fell in beside me and gave a smile to everyone else.

"Hi, I'm Henry."

Six pairs of eyes all turned to him, and then, just as quickly, to me. I avoided them by concentrating on the food in front of me. I didn't want to have to explain myself to anyone.

"You're the beater on the Ravenclaw team, right?" James talked over the mouthful of food he was attempting to swallow.

Henry chuckled and nodded as he heaped food on his own plate. "And you're seeker and Sirius is my fellow beater, eh?" his intelligent eyes glanced from James to Sirius who hadn't stopped staring at him since he had sat next to me.

Sirius visibly stiffened. I wanted to sigh and roll my eyes but that would have only drawn attention to myself. I thought Sirius and I had gone over it. I knew it was just the same protective, brotherly, friend crap. "Yeah, I'm beater. And we're going to kick your arses in a few weeks."

That did make me jerk up. Those were fighting words. I made a face at Sirius and turned to look at Henry to see how he would take it. His lips tightened, but after a second he smiled easily. "Think whatever you want, mate. You know, the Cannons were favored to win two to one in their game against Puddlemere and look how that turned out."

"Yeah, but that was a total turnaround on the part of Mark Gensley—I mean, no one expected that catch at the end," interjected James happily.

"Expected or not, it still happened," Henry grinned.

"Plus he only sighted it after Gregor Mann. Now that was a steal if I've ever seen one," Sirius argued.

"No, I'm with Henry on this one," Remus added thoughtfully. "It's a game of agility and skill and if Gregor couldn't make it there quickly enough then it was fair and square. So what if they weren't expected to win?"

This launched a great debate, obviously. Every boy had his own opinion and us girls just rolled our eyes and picked at our food, listening intently. I marveled at Henry's ability not only to change the topic to something less bellicose, but also his ability to hold his own against James and Sirius in their little debate.

"Look boys, this is all very interesting but Sirius and I have a study date in the Library," Gretchen stood and waited for Sirius to follow her. Sirius sighed and stood.

"It was nice meeting you," Henry nodded at Sirius.

Sirius glanced at me before half-smiling at Henry. "You too." And he was off. Thank God the ice was broken and Henry didn't make Sirius' hackles rise. I had felt extremely uncomfortable in the beginning of that conversation. I didn't know if I was allowed to defend Henry in our "slept together once and held hands" limbo.

"You have some great friends," Henry said as he walked me up to the Gryffindor Tower. "I mean, I don't know what was up with that Sirius bloke in the beginning."

"Yeah, sorry about him. He's just protecting me."

"From me?" Henry asked, a smile breaking out on his lips.

I shrugged, "I guess. He doesn't want my heart breaking." Too bad he had caused the worst of it. "But I guess you proved yourself so the hard part is over with."

Henry chuckled. "That's good to know. So now that the hard part is over, when I ask you if I can kiss you I shouldn't be at all concerned about the answer?"

I inhaled sharply—I hadn't been expecting that. But I smiled, feeling genuinely happy about the prospect of kissing him. "_When_ you ask, you shouldn't be concerned." I laughed.

He took a step closer and took my hand. "May I kiss you?"

All I could do was nod. I tilted my head to receive it. It was light and simple and uncomplicated. He pulled away as soon as our lips touched. He took a step back and smiled at me. "All right then. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"I guess so," I assented. My mouth couldn't hold in the grin any longer as it spread across my face.

"Oh, and I hope you're not seeing anyone else," he added as an afterthought.

I laughed. "Oh really? Why is that?"

"Think about it," Henry shoved his hands in his pockets and descended the stairs.

Oh was I going to think about it. I probably wouldn't stop.


	30. Too Good

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* * *

"So did you figure it out?" Henry asked the next day. He had found me in the library, pouring over my potion notes.

"Of course," I blushed. Lily and I had gone over every single thing that had happened—twice. She helped me decide what I was going to say to him. I hadn't told her that my hesitation was because of Sirius, but I think she figured it out. She helped me realize that a having a boy is nice. Not necessary, but nice. I didn't need someone to make me feel better about myself, but Henry was so nice and great that I would be crazy to pass up the opportunity. I mean, I didn't know him _that_ well, but that was half the fun, right?

"And?" he prompted.

"And I'm not seeing anyone else," I said, exactly as Lily had told me to. It was odd, needing to get love advice. I'd never really relied on anyone else other than myself, but I did have to admit that Lily had a lot more experience than I did.

Henry grinned. "Well good. Me either. So if that's the case, did you want to do something with me this weekend?"

I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling but it didn't work. "Something?" I asked pointedly.

"Well, the next Hogsmeade weekend isn't until next month, but I'll think of something we can do. I mean, there's always a study date or a walk by the lake or… something," he said cryptically.

"Sounds good," I agreed. "So this means…"

"I guess so," he leaned in closer. Instinctively, I felt myself mirroring his actions though I didn't feel like I had any control over it. Just before our lips touched, someone cleared a throat. I looked up and saw Sirius cocking an eyebrow at me. Sirius sat across from us at the table as Henry laughed quietly to himself, as if he knew some sort of private joke. You had to give it to Henry—he had a sort of unwavering confidence.

"How's the Potion work coming, Lore?" Sirius asked pointedly.

"Fine," I said, frowning slightly. I never interrupted him when he was about to kiss Gretchen. Well, strictly speaking, I _had_ interrupted him, but only while they were already kissing. But how unfair was it that he was interrupting me now?

"You know what? I'll see you in a bit. Maybe you can come meet my friends tomorrow at lunch," Henry suggested.

I nodded with a small smile. I was still a bit uncomfortable with meeting so many new people at once, but Henry would make it OK for me. He was so personable. "Sure, I'll see you then."

Henry looked over at Sirius who waved him off in a rather flippant manner and looked back down at his notes. Henry leaned down and gave me an unnecessarily long hug. I could tell it was to see how Sirius would react too, because he winked at me as he left and gave Sirius a challenging look.

When he was out of earshot, I spoke up. I wasn't about to tell off the boy I might or might not have a relationship with, but I could tell off Sirius—the boy who had no business with my love life. "Did you both really think I missed that whole Neanderthal exchange there? It's all very nice that you both think I can't take care of myself so you want to do it for me, but let me assure you that you are both extremely wrong."

"Lore it was him that-"

"No. This needs to stop. You started it—he was only responding to your attitude. You will start being nice to him or so help me I will… I will…"

"Finish that sentence?" Sirius suggested with laughter in his eyes. Damn him! I actually had to try to be mad at him because he was so adorable!

I glared at him. "I'm serious. He's my… boyfriend now so would you please leave him alone? For my sake?" I figured the word 'boyfriend' would make him listen up, even though I didn't know if that was the correct term for what Henry was to me.

As anticipated, Sirius had stiffened at the word, 'boyfriend' and he was now watching me with interest. "All right then. For your sake. But I still think you deserve better."

I rolled my eyes. "Sirius, that's not comforting, it's condescending."  
"I just meant that I'm still not sure about-"

"Stop it, OK? I'm not asking you for your opinion. In fact, why don't you just leave me alone for a while until you're ready to let me make my own bloody decisions," I said angrily, collecting my books. I stood and walked off without another look back. I could feel his surprised stare on me as I stomped off. I didn't think I'd ever yelled at him quite like that.

It wasn't his place to pass judgment on who I chose to be with. He lost that right when he stomped on my heart. True I hadn't had the guts to tell him how I felt, but still. It was time to move on and now he was trying to stop me. It wasn't fair to me.

In my anger I wasn't looking where I was going. Of course I always have to bump into someone when that happens. Of course I can't be one of those lucky people that doesn't hit the other people who also aren't looking. And of course it had to be one of the worst people possible to bump into.

"Watch it," Severus Snape hissed. I was only relieved it wasn't Dorinda. Though I hadn't seen her since our big confrontation, I was still afraid every time I had to walk down to the dungeons for potions.

"I'm sorry," I replied meekly, still reeling from my fight with Sirius.  
Snape, obviously surprised that I hadn't bit back when he snapped at me, sniffed down his large nose at me. "Well, you should be."

"I am," I sighed and began walking off. It wasn't like I had knocked him to the floor or anything. The best way to deal with blokes like Snape who had serious self-confidence issues, was to let them snap at you if it made them feel better because if you didn't directly harm them, they'd never do anything more than snap. What else was he going to do, anyway? He couldn't call _me_ a mudblood—my blood was purer than his.

"You-" Snape began and cut himself off. I whirled because it hadn't sounded like it was going to be an insult. It sounded like a plea. Desperation flashed across his face for a brief second before it was replaced with his usual sneer. "Never mind," he said slowly and walked off.

That was odd. Slytherins acted oddly, I decided. It was just a fact to accept. So I shrugged, tried to forget it and continued on. My anger about Sirius had subsided by the time I walked through the portrait hole into the common room. James was dozing off on the couch in front of the fire. When I stepped through the portrait, he cracked open an eye. "Hey Lore," he greeted, as he was facing the entrance I had just walked through.

"Hey James," I smiled weakly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked with concern, opening his eyes.

"No… well," I faltered. Why not tell him? I needed to learn not to bottle everything up and let a few people in, right? "It's just about Henry."

"Did he do something?" James bolted up. He seemed angered, but there was also an air of triumph about him—like he had known it all along.

"No!" I shook my head vehemently. "Nothing like that. Actually, it's really about Sirius, I guess. He doesn't like Henry, no matter what Henry does to try to win him over. And today he was trying to convince me that I was better than Henry and that he's only going to hurt me. But that's ludicrous, right?"

"No… I'm afraid I'm with Sirius on this one-"

"Oh would the two of you just leave it alone? It's not up to you!"

James raised his eyebrows. "You asked."

Wincing as I felt the blush rise to my cheeks, I downcast my eyes. "You're right. I'm sorry I yelled. It's just… why don't you like him? From what I can tell, he's almost too good to be true."

James chewed the inside of his cheek. "Well, usually things that seem too good to be true _are_ too good to be true," he reasoned.

I hadn't thought about it like that. But Henry seemed so sincere! How could someone so perfect have evil intentions? It was unlikely, in my opinion. I decided to get another girl's opinion. When I saw Lily next, I'd ask her.


	31. Lucky?

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* * *

****I pulled a pillow over my head and screamed into it. What did they have against Henry? Sirius and James had both told me they didn't trust him, but both had failed to provide a better reason than, "I just don't." Was it some kind of warped brotherly protectiveness, or was there a legit reason for it? I knew that boys usually went with their gut instincts, but was this situation one of those?

"You sound frustrated," a voice was partly muffled by the pillow over my head, but I could tell it belonged to Gretchen.

I tugged the pillow off my head and saw that Gretchen and Lily were carrying mugs, presumably holding hot cocoa. Lily offered me one and they both sat on my bed. "Boy problems," I sighed, stirring the contents of the mug with a spoon.

"The great Lorelei White needs help with boys? The Love Guru needs advice? Whoever thought this day would come?" Gretchen teased. She smiled slightly and I did too, unsure whether or not it was really a joke—it hadn't sounded like one.

I shrugged. "It's just… Sirius and James have decided they don't like Henry."

"Why?" Lily frowned. "He seems great."

"That's what I think! They just don't like him. It's completely inexplicable and Sirius has even gone to the point where he's challenging Henry every time he sees him. It's ridiculous," I cried, exasperated.

"Boy friends can be so weird about other boys-"

"Boyfriends?" Gretchen interrupted shrilly.

Lily and I exchanged looks. What was that about? "I meant friends who are boys," Lily corrected. She looked questioningly at me again and continued. "Friends who are boys can be really weird about other boys. It's the male instinct of protectiveness."

"I know, but Sirius said he thinks I deserve better and James said that things that seem too good to be true usually are. What if that's true?"

"You should give him a chance before you let James make your decisions," Gretchen reasoned, staring into her mug of chocolate.

"And Sirius," Lily added, looking at Gretchen strangely.

"Of course."

Lily shook her head and turned to me. "I agree with Gretchen. My advice is to go for it and disregard what the boys think. It's your life, not theirs."

"That's true," I agreed thoughtfully. I leaned back and took a sip of my cocoa. She had a good point. "I think I will. Everyone deserves a chance, and it's not like Henry's done anything to me—he definitely deserves the benefit of the doubt."

"Definitely," Gretchen echoed.

"All right, that settles that."

"Gretchen can I talk to you?" Lily turned to her friend with a frown.

I decided it was time for me to bow out and let them talk. I quickly slipped off my bed and smiled at them, "Thanks guys. I'll go downstairs so you can have some privacy."

"Good luck, Lore," Lily smiled.

"Thanks."

I finished off the hot cocoa as I walked down to the kitchens. I planned on returning the mug so the house elves wouldn't have to do it. I entered the hub of activity and set the mug on a counter. When I spun around, I almost ran right into Sirius. What was he, following me? How did he always know where I was?

"Oh, hey Lore."

"Hello Sirius," I responded politely, if somewhat coldly.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out so suddenly I jumped back a step. After he said it, he looked surprised too, as if he hadn't meant to say it. But now that it was out in the open, he couldn't take it back. "I'm sorry," he repeated at a slightly lower decibel.

"Really?" I asked suspiciously. "This isn't just a sorry to make things better? You're really sorry?"

"Yeah. If you like him, then good for you. I'm not going to stand in the way and I'm not going to bash Henry anymore."

"Thank you, Sirius," I smiled at him and leaned forward to hug him. He was being so mature about everything. It was wonderful. He was a good hugger too, he held like he didn't want to let go.

So took Lily and Gretchen's advice and I spent the next day with Henry, learning all his favorite places in the castle. We ended the day with a walk by the lake. When it got cold, he took me in and we had some more hot cocoa. At the end of the day, he didn't even try to kiss me. So we had another date the next weekend. And another the next weekend. And he asked me to Hogsmeade after the Quidditch match that Saturday.

When the day arrived, I was torn between wearing the bright red and gold scarf and my blue jumper. Of course I was going to sit in the Gryffindor section and cheer for James and Sirius, I also wanted to root for Henry. Both it was, then.

Lily came in to get me so we could leave and she gave a laugh at my traitorous jumper. "The boys aren't going to like that one," she mused.

"I'm supporting them too," I defended myself, brandishing the striped scarf as proof.

Lily chuckled again and shook her head. "Come on, let's go."

I was immediately greeted with, "Lore! What are you wearing?" Peter had turned a suspicious eye on me.

I just laughed and pulled Lily along quicker to the Quidditch pitch. Before we reached the Gryffindor stand, I was infinitely surprised to see that Henry was leaning against the wooden frame. Remus and Peter gave me looks, and nodded at Henry as they passed. Lily turned to me with a big smile on her face, winked, and traipsed up the stairs after the boys.

"Henry?" I asked timidly. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for the game?"

He took a step forward, uncrossing his arms. I knew them to be well muscled, like the rest of him. Instead, I chose to concentrate on his slightly long, light brown hair falling into his hazel eyes. And those lips… well I wasn't supposed to be looking at those.

"I should be," he agreed.

I smiled, "So why aren't you?"

He was close enough now to touch me, so he reached out and gripped my arm. He pulled me in and kissed me. It was simple, and sweet. But honestly, I didn't feel anything more intense than his lips on mine. It wasn't like what I imagined kissing should actually be, but it wasn't like I had that much experience with kissing.

"For luck," he explained with a broad smile as he pulled away.

"Good luck," I said softly and waited for him to get out of sight before I grinned and ran up the wooden steps to find the others.

I found my seat next to Lily with Remus and Peter on the other side. Lily was making a big deal about a scratch on Remus' face. "Yes Remus, but you don't even _like_ owls-"

"Oh look, it's starting!" Remus changed the subject, pointing down to where both the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw teams were immerging from their respective lockers. I scanned both teams but they were too far to see anything other than hair color. I guessed that the two black-haired boys in red were James and Sirius, though.

They kicked off the ground on their brooms as the game started. It was the first time I actually watched a match. When Gryffindor scored, we all cheered. When Ravenclaw scored, I cheered as quietly as I could. I didn't want the rest of the people in the Gryffindor stand to stone me to death. Lily chuckled every time she heard my minimal "Woo!" after the quaffle went through our own hoops. She even joined me after the first half of the game when it was clear that Gryffindor was in the lead.

Then I caught sight of Henry. He was sitting on his broom, following the motions of the bludgers carefully. I smiled to myself as he hit one away from the Ravenclaw seeker. He was good at what he did. My eyes scanned the other players and settled on Sirius. He too, was protecting his teammates from the bludgers.

I had smiled when I saw Henry, but my stomach felt like it fell when I saw Sirius. I told myself it was just because I was nervous for him for some odd reason. I told myself it was _not_ because I still had feelings for him. I told myself that I was done with Sirius. I told myself that I hadn't been comparing Henry's kiss to what I imagined Sirius' kiss would have been like.

Henry hit another bludger and I followed its path. It was headed right for James. In the excitement that Gryffindor had just scored again, no on else saw it—not even the Gryffindor beaters. It hit James square in the back and he went flying forward. The entire Gryffindor section was on their feet immediately, especially Lily. Luckily for James, he had seeker-quick reflexes. Just in time, he gripped his broom and held tight to avoid falling off. His broom flipped forward and began to descend.

Everyone watched with baited breath as his broom plummeted down further and further. We all thought he was going to hit the ground when he stopped about two feet short and held up his hand. It was the snitch! The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter at the Marauders prank. He had only been pretending that his broom was out of control so he could catch the snitch without alerting the other team's seeker! How clever!

Lily and I screamed and began jumping up and down, hugging each other, as this victory now qualified Gryffindor for the championship match against Slytherin. Remus and Peter high-fived me. I could tell there would be another victory party after everyone got back from Hogsmeade.


End file.
